


For the Love of You

by RestlessCancer



Series: Destiel, Sabriel, and Cabriel: For the Love [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 'Baby' Dean, Affection, Age Play Little Dean Winchester, Age Play Little Sam Winchester, Castiel Needs a Hug, Childhood Trauma, Daddy Castiel, Daddy Gabriel, Daddy Issues, Dean Needs A Hug, Dean Needs Castiel, Dean Needs Love, Fluff, Good Uncle Gabriel, Little Sam, Love, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Trauma, Uncle Castiel, Uncle Gabriel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2018-10-18 06:32:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 68,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10611216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RestlessCancer/pseuds/RestlessCancer
Summary: Dean was starting to feel tired. Hunts were getting repetitive and Dean was getting frustrated. Both Fortunately and unfortunately, Castiel is all too happy to step in and shake things up for what the angel hopes is the better. When Dean's frustration is turned towards the angel at the heavenly being's idea of helping, Castiel has a ready and simple answer:"Everything I do, Dean, I do for a reason." Castiel insisted, trying to be patient despite his deeply seeded desire to hold his hunter."And what the fuck is that, Cas?" Dean snapped, the tears still defiantly streaming down his face. "Cause so far all this has done is pulled up far too many damn memories.""Listen to me, Dean Winchester," Castiel responded, forcing the man to look him in the eyes. "I do all of this... For the love of you.""What...?" Dean questioned, taking a shaky breath."It's because I love you and you give me something I want to give you..." Castiel answered, smiling sadly as he embraced the Dean, infantile soul and all.  "I want to give you a home like you gave me..."





	1. Like Deja Vu

**Author's Note:**

> I recently watched the episode with Angela, who became a Zombie and this insanity just poured fourth from my fingertips. Hope you all like it.
> 
> Affections,  
> Lizzy

Dean flopped onto the crappy, queen-sized motel mattress with a groan. Universe be damned, he hated Zombies. He wished he could say it was a case that was like deja vu, but he really couldn’t because this Zombie had a PhD in psychology and Graduate degree in health sciences, not to mention the other degree in mythology, before he died, well before he died the  _ first _ time, so he was much smarter than Angela. So when they had tried the whole ritual on his gravesite to destroy him, he didn’t fall for it. He knew what they were trying to do. So they had to bind and gag the bastard so he couldn’t fight back. Then they had to find a way to transport him that wouldn’t leave his rotting blood soaking into Baby’s seats. After that, they still had to nail the son of a bitch to his coffin, unbind and gag the corpse and then re-bury the man. It was physically and mentally exhausting. The emotional part hadn’t been much of an issue until Sammy started nagging him about whether this case had triggered any of the same issues he had been dealing with when they had to take care of Angela. That’s when Dean started losing it. So, for tonight, Dean and Sam were in separate rooms because the older Winchester was convinced he would at least maim his baby brother if they stayed in the same room and he had to hear over and over that he could talk to his brother if he needed to.

 

Dean was just starting to feel relaxed and get sleepy when a moan of frustration burst forward as he heard familiar wing beats sound through his shitty room. He covered his eyes with his arm and stayed put, hoping the Angel would acknowledge his tiredness and leave him the fuck alone. Then again, it might be nice to rant about the ridiculousness that was the latest Zombie hunt… Wait… Nope, that’s not right. Dean doesn’t share anything according to everyone else so he supposed he’d have to keep the story for himself.

 

“Let me guess, Sammy prayed to you?” Dean guessed, not moving a muscle.

 

“No, Dean.” Castiel replied, surprising Dean by sitting on the edge of the bed and stroking the older Winchester’s hair. “How many times must I remind you of our profound bound before you remember that when you are distressed or overly exhausted, your soul cries out for me?”

 

“Will you stop phrasing it like that?” Dean half-heartedly snapped, exposing one eye enough to glare at the Angel. “You make it sound like I’m sort sort of toddler at the core of my being that needs some sort of guardian to make it all better. It’s weird.”

 

“Have you ever stopped to consider the psychology that anyone with such a degree would determine from knowledge of your life?” Castiel prompted with a chuckle, still petting the man’s hair since he hadn’t pulled away. “Your soul is stunted at a very young age because of the repeated trauma you’ve endured over the course of your life. As is your emotional state. In some ways, you never fully grew up. You simply developed methods of protecting your more innocent and likely infantile self, which did the job it was supposed to, though that doesn’t mean it was the healthy way.”

 

“Have I ever told you that I hate you?” Dean pondered aloud, dropping his arm and glaring up at Cas.

 

“Many times before, I’m sure.” Castiel responded with a warm smile, tapping Dean’s nose with his index finger and gaining an indignant rub of the offended body part. “If it’s any consolation Gabriel’s pestering Sammy about his own psychological trauma. Although…”

 

Castiel paused both in his speech and with his petting of Dean’s fluffy and soft light brunette hair. Dean gave him a questioning look and a gesture that clearly said ‘well, what is it?’ Apparently that was all the angel needed to continue.

 

“Although Gabriel isn’t planning to ask Sam what we’ve both decided to ask you. But honestly, you’re worse off than him anyhow.” Castiel explained, resuming his comforting gesture.

 

“And what, exactly, are you planning to ask me?” Dean pressed, a wary look crossing his face.

 

“Would you allow me, as your Guardian Angel of sorts, to take care of you in your downtime?” Castiel offered, a loving smile, one he’s never seen the angel sport before, crossing the man’s visage. 

 

“What do you mean by ‘take care of me?” Dean questioned, curious about the seemingly attractive offer.

 

“I would have a home, thanks to a fair inheritance given to me by a certain wonderful and nosy archangel, for you to use as a home base, I would be sure to have plenty of hearty, home-cooked meals to keep you fed and all other basic necessities as well as plenty of entertainment and my undivided attention.” Castiel elaborated, resituating to lean against the wall at the head of the bed and gently pulling Dean’s head onto his lap. “I basically want to give you a haven where you feel safe enough to let go of all your stress and just be yourself in the purest, simplest form. A break from Hunting whenever you need it.”

 

“I’ll have to think about it…” Dean responded, less tense than before. “It’s certainly tempting and sounds kinda nice but the travel to wherever you buy this house could be killer if the hunt’s not near by.”

 

“What is it you liked to call trips with me and Gabriel?” Castiel pointed out with an amused look. “Angel Air? I think it’s safe to say I would grab you- and Baby- and bring you home.”

 

“That certainly sweetens the pot…” Dean agreed, yawning heavily as the gentle fingers seemed to massage his scalp.

 

“Would you like me to stay tonight?” Castiel proposed, hiding the amused smile his sleepy hunter was prompting.

“What? You think pillows just get up and walk around?” Dean joked, his eyes already closed and a sleepy smirk gracing his lips as he turned his face towards the angel’s torso.

 

Castiel just shook his head fondly and watched as his brave hunter fell into a deep sleep. He couldn’t help leaning down and kissing the man’s temple, his lips placing a gentle kiss as his nose nuzzled along the sleeping Winchester’s hairline.

  
“Sweet dreams, brave hunter.” Castiel whispered before resuming his previous position.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Cas sings to Dean at the end is "Our Song" by the XX.


	2. The Decision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is already quite popular :O I'm excited to see this story and it's readers expand!
> 
> Affections,  
> Lizzy

After about a month and a half and about three redundant hunts- though thankfully no Strigas- Dean passed out in a slightly nicer motel than the one he had when Castiel had made his proposition. The angel knew the elder Winchester wouldn’t accept what he called ‘hand-outs’ even though they were constantly committing fraud (“at least we’re still working for it- it takes skill and constant attention to successfully fake our identities”), so he had been having Dean and Sam doing some odds and ends for him- mostly research and travel reports- which he compensated them for since it took time out of their hunts to complete that tasks. Basically the angel was already fulfilling his role in a subtle and gradual progression. He and Gabriel would offer to take the boys to dinner to celebrate finishing hunts and stick around to have a drink and chat at the hotel afterwards, only to end up staying the night “Cause pillows don’t move.” Overall, the angels were quite happy with the progress they were making with the boys.

 

As Dean and Sam laid back in their respective beds with the tv set to some random boring PBS documentary called “Frontier House” which was about three families who were left in the Montana wilderness with only the tools that would have existed back when America was a relatively new nation and they moved out West to create new settlements. It was humorous to an extent but still pretty boring to the boys who had lived rougher than that a couple of times. As the show came back from the advertisement break, two sets of flapping wings could be heard and each Winchester had a fond and sleepy smile on their face.

 

“Hey, Sammy boy!” Gabriel cheerily greeted, flopping onto Sam’s bed and cuddling the taller man. “Hi, Deano!” 

 

“Hey, Gabe.” Dean responded, rolling his eyes and yawning. “Cas?”

 

“Hello, my fierce hunter.” The shorter man greeted as he took his place on Dean’s bed and assumed the position with the elder Winchester laying half on top of him. “How are you?”

 

“Better now that my pillow’s back.” Dean answered with another yawn.

 

“That’s his way of saying he missed you and needs a cuddle.” Sam teased, curled up in a similar fashion as Dean.

 

“Shut up, Bitch.” Dean sleepily griped. “You’re the one practically cradled in Gabe’s arms…”

 

“Now, now, no need to call little Sammy such a nasty name.” Castiel gently chastised. “Besides, I love cuddling and I know Dean is happy to help me enjoy such a human experience.”

 

Sam and Gabe just chuckled at the older hunter and his parental angel. Gabriel had approached Sam about being his little boy a couple weeks ago and after assuring the man that little didn’t have to mean two years old or anything like that, Sam was pretty sold since he never got to have time that kind of experience with John Winchester. It seemed like it could be nice to unwind and not have to worry about anything he didn’t want to worry about, to be able to take a break and have someone openly express a familial affection towards him without hiding it behind teasing and snarky comments (ahem,  _ Dean _ ). Sam had dont the research on what Gabriel proposed and though it was weird and kind of out there, he figured that everything else in his life was already in that classification that it couldn’t hurt to just go all out. Based on all the accounts he read on it and the few people he had gotten the chance to talk to, it seemed like a very promising theraputic activity. 

 

“Have you thought about my offer, Dean?” Castiel asked in a quiet voice, trying to make it seem like it was a secret that the other two weren’t already privy to.

 

“Mhmm.” Dean hummed, ready to fully pass out.

 

“Well, what do you think, hm?” Castiel asked, deciding to see how far he could progress while his boy was so sleepy. “Would you be willing to be my brave little boy? Can Daddy take care of you?”

 

After a moment’s pause when Castiel was sure the man had conked out, Dean responded sleepily, “Uh huh, Daddy…”

 

Either not realizing what he had said or not caring enough since he was already half passed out, Dean just laid there with a content smile on his face as Castiel kept petting his hair. The younger angel was beyond ecstatic as he kissed Dean’s cheek, reveling in the fact that his boy leaned into the comforting gesture. Castiel looked over at Gabriel and Sam, getting thumbs up and encouraging smiles from the two.

 

“It’s about damn time,” Sam chuckled quietly, looking sheepish as Gabriel gave him the face that said ‘that’s a no-no.’

 

“Sam, what did I say about appropriate language?” Gabriel chastised.

 

“That even though I’m not as little as Dean, I still shouldn’t swear.” Sam recited in a noticeably smaller voice. “Sorry, Daddy.”

 

“It’s okay, just be more mindful, buddy.” Gabriel forgave, kissing the younger Winchester’s forehead.

 

“Dean, sweet pea?” Castiel tried, attempting to gauge whether his boy was still awake.

 

As the angel spoke, his boy jolted a little. It reminded Castiel of the last time Dean had done that. The hunter had explained that sometimes when he had a nightmare, there was a falling sensation that went along with it which is what usually caused him to spasm in such a way.

 

“Daddy?” Dean murmured, shifting and seeming a bit upset.

 

“Are you alright, Honey?” Castiel cooed in a soft whisper, cuddling his boy closer and nuzzling his temple.

 

“Better now…” Dean yawned, still semi-asleep.

 

“Would you like Daddy to sing you to sleep?” Castiel asked.

 

“Mmhmm.” Dean hummed, grabbing onto the angel’s t-shirt.

 

Castiel stared his brother down as he realized the archangel had mojoed him into a jersey cotton shirt and flannel pj pants- though he wasn’t the only one who had been forcefully changed into sleep clothes- Sam and the older angel were also dressed for bed. That only left Dean unprepared for sleep. So Castiel focused his Grace and changed Dean into a set of pjs matching his- just for shits and giggles, the latter of which was definitely had by the duo on the other queen sized bed.

 

“Aww, Cassie! Sammy and I were gonna watch a movie!” Gabriel quietly whined.

 

“You still can.” Castiel pointed out.

 

“No, because when you sing, it’s like Deadly Nightshade- everyone who hears it is down and out for the count.” Gabriel complained.

 

“It’s okay, Daddy,” Sam assured the archangel mid-yawn. “I wanna go to sleep and we can watch the movie while the baby’s still sleeping in the morning.”

 

Castiel looked at the younger Winchester in shock. Since when had his boy become that baby? Or better yet, since when did Sam know that would likely be Dean’s headspace? The younger angel glared, unamused, at his older brother.

 

“Gabriel…” Castiel said in a warning tone.

 

“What? I can’t keep secrets from my boy!” Gabriel argued, his voice a little loud for the younger’s liking. “How am I supposed to tell him to be honest if I lie to him? He asked and I answered.”

 

“Please stop…” Dean pleaded in a quiet voice, still hazy as a few tears ran down his face with his eyes clenched shut. “I’m… I’m sorry… Didn’t meant it…” 

 

Castiel connected to Gabriel’s Grace with his own and, for the first time, the archangel heard his little brother cuss him out through their connection.

“Sorry, Cassie…” Gabriel apologized.

 

“Shh, sweetheart…” Castiel soothed, gently rocking the boy in his arms. “No one’s angry with you. It’s all just a bad memory that your sleepy little self only thinks is happening. Daddy’s here and it’s all okay.”

 

Dean seemed to relax, though the tears kept falling. Sam was giggling quietly at his angel and the pout on the man’s face. Gabriel gave his boy a teasingly unamused face, sporting the scrunched eyebrows and what he had heard the humans call ‘duck lips,’ which apparently was their creative term for pursed lips. 

 

“There, there, Honey.” Castiel whispered, trying to decide on a song for his little boy and finally it came to him as he started to hum the melody. “All I have, I will give to you, in dark times when no one wants to, I will give you me and we’ll be us… All I have, I will give to you. And at times, when no one wants to, I will give you me and we’ll be us. And there’s no one else, who knows me, like you do. All I’ve done, you’ve done to. The walls I hide behind, you walk through, you just walk through… Well I know all the words, to take you apart. You know I know you’re hurt. I want to mend your heart. You broke down. Why don’t you tell me from the start. You know I know you’re hurt, I want to mend your heart. And there’s no one else, who knows me, like you do. What I’ve done, You’ve done too.. The walls I hide behind, you walk through, you just walk through…”

  
Finally, his little boy was peacefully asleep with his soul wrapped in Castiel’s Grace like a newborn swaddled comfortably in a baby blanket made from old, broken in cotton shirts that used to be the parents’ shirts. Castiel smirked at the sight of his brother and ‘nephew’ asleep on the other bed and indulging in what he was sure was a childish human gesture- sticking his tongue out at the pair of men that were really just children in adult bodies. He chuckled quietly to himself and slipped into a peaceful meditation, planning his next step towards the ultimate goal for his little hunter.


	3. The First Fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies everyone! I meant to get this out much sooner, but I recently had my hands full with work and with the adoption of my three month old cat (I know, some might have thought baby for a split second and I wish, but unfortunately kids don't seem to be in my future thanks to my biological failure to get pregnant and my fiancee's lack of desire for a child anyhow). ANYWAYS, I hope this is still satisfying your Supernatural fused with infantilism/abdl relationship cravings. I'm surprised and grateful for all the love this has gotten so far and I hope it continues to get it. 
> 
> Also, feel free to leave comments if there's a situation you'd eventually like to see in this piece or a request for a short piece/one shot you think I might be able to write to your satisfaction.
> 
> Affections,   
> Lizzy

Over the weekend, the Winchester brothers had been taking advantage of the lack of pressing hunts and went to the Iowa State Fair, an attraction they almost missed on their drive towards the East Coast. There was a Ferris wheel, zip-lining, a barn of animals to pet, what seemed like billions of vendors selling everything from popcorn to Turkey legs to deep fried Oreos to different toys and souvenirs, different businesses showing off their wares and services, small rides, and tons of carnival style games, though the most entertaining attractions were the sandcastles and the butter sculptures. They even had a concert put on by a local high school band that did some decent covers of a number of Dean’s favorite bands, including AC/DC. 

 

Their angels were actually on Holiday with them, which was definitely a perk- especially since Cas had never experienced something so huge and Gabe was intent on making Cas try every food possible. The brothers had to rescue the younger angel when the archangel tried to push his baby brother to try deep fried butter- Castiel could handle it, though he’d likely hate it, but his vessel’s heart faltered in protest to make it known that too much fried food would send it packing to the morgue. Overall, it was a super fun and relaxed experience. Gabriel had won Sam a stuffed labrador and huge stuffed wolf, both of which he offered to Sam, who happily accepted the gifts. As for Dean, Castiel had won him a plush ‘79 Ford Mustang pillow, a black cat with brilliant blue eyes that was about as big as him, and a stuffed Winnie the Pooh that was half Cas’ height. By the time the fair was ready to shut down, the four had already started towards the Impala. Naturally, Dean drove them to the hotel that Castiel and Gabriel had already reserved a room in.

 

After they parked, Sam and Dean grabbed their bags, their plushes, and then their angels. Gabriel held Sam’s hand as they walked through the parking lot and into the lobby. Castiel had thrown an arm around his sleepy hunter who was also still carrying the bucket of cookies he had purchased from a vendor that arguably sold the best chocolate chips cookies he’d ever had. As the two joined the other half of their little group in the lobby, Cas steered a half-asleep Dean to the reception desk.

 

“Hello, my name is Eve. How may I help you?” The very agreeable twenty-something year old woman greeted.

 

“Hello, Ms. Eve. We have a reservation under Castiel Novak.” The angel responded, smiling pleasantly.

 

“Alrighty, just give me one second please,” Eve replied, typing away on her computer with her delicate, manicured nails. “Ah, yes, here it is. You have the Rosa Suite reserved, correct?”

 

“Yes, that sounds right.” He confirmed, rubbing Dean’s bicep as the man blinked and shook his head a bit.

 

“It looks like you prepaid online,” She commented, grabbing the magnetized key cards for the suite. “So here are two key cards. Check out is 2 pm sharp. Breakfast is served from 6 am to 11 am. The pool and fitness center are open from 6 am to 10 pm. The business center is open 24/7 and we do have complimentary cookies available to our guests. Feel free to grab some on your way to your room, which is on the third floor, just follow the signs.”

 

“Thank you very much, Ms. Eve.” Castiel appreciated, taking the key cards in his free hand. “Goodnight.”

 

“Goodnight, Mr. Novak. I hope you all enjoy your stay with us.” Eve called as they headed for the elevator.

 

Once they got to the third floor, Gabriel gave Sam a piggy back ride while Castiel carried Dean bridal style. Thankfully, it was a straight shot to their suite so, both fortunately and unfortunately, the angels didn’t have to worry about keeping their grip on their boys for long. Gabriel had Sam take one of the key cards from the younger angel and unlock the door. Once it was open and everyone was in, the boys perked up a lot. 

 

There was a kitchenette with black marble counters, a fridge half as tall as Castiel, a huge spacious living room with a flat screen tv and pleather seating with plenty of pillows, a large dining area with a beautiful cherry wood table and chairs set, and a crazy large bedroom with two king sized beds. In the bedroom there was also a couple dressers, each with a decent sized flat screen tv on top, luggage racks, and a couple nightstands to the left of each bed. Attached to the bedroom was the ridiculously luxurious bathroom, which contained a water closet, double vanity, jacuzzi tub, stand alone shower, a closet and a large rack heaped with neatly folded white towels. As Sam and Dean stood in the bedroom looking between all the amazing amenities and the sheer luxury of the space, they couldn’t believe their angels were spoiling them. Castiel and Gabriel stood proudly before their boys, happy to see them so excited.

 

“Why did you spend this much money on us?” Dean questioned, looking a bit uncomfortable.

 

“Because we’re all on vacation and that means we splurge a little, Dean-o.” Gabriel reasoned, gesturing grandly to their suite.

 

“Or a lot. How much did this room cost you?” Sam interrogated, staring at his over the top archangel.

 

“Sam, while I appreciate your concern, that’s nothing for you to worry about. Besides, money isn’t a problem for us. Between Gabriel’s time on Earth and now my own, we are more than set for life.” Castiel assured the younger Winchester. “Besides, in all technicality, we are your Guardian Angels so that means it’s our job to take care of you two.”

 

Dean and Sam looked at each other, the former still nearly half asleep before Sam shrugged and embraced his angel in gratitude. Seeing Castiel eye the pair longingly, Dean swallowed a sigh and nearly tackled his angel with a tight hug. The younger angel chuckled, giving his hunter a gentle squeeze and kissing his temple. 

 

“I hope you like it. I thought this might be a good transition to the big surprises Gabe and I have for you two.” Castiel said, leading Dean towards the bathroom. “If it’s alright with you, I’d like to help you get ready for bed. Then we can cuddle and get some sleep before the big trip to your surprise.”

 

“What exactly do you mean by help me get ready for bed?” Dean pressed, hesitant to agree to anything that he didn’t know the facts of. 

 

“Run a bath to help soothe your tired and aching muscles, have your pjs ready, turn down the covers on our bed, make sure there’s a glass of water and something small to eat on the nightstand in case you get hungry in the night, and get a movie ready.” Castiel elaborated with a sheepish, admiring smile. “If you like, I can give you a massage at some point to help you fully unwind. Gabriel has me massage his vessel often since his wings bother the human’s back.”

 

“Sure, I guess, but Cas, careful how you phrase the whole vessel thing- it almost sounded like an innuendo.” Dean pointed out, looking amused and uncomfortable all at once.

 

“My apologies, I’ll watch my phrasing in the future.” Castiel agreed with an embarrassed flush as he went to the tub to start filling it with water. “Would it be alright if I run through the shower while you’re in the bath? It’s been awhile since James has had a proper shower.”

 

“I don’t mind, just so long as you’re not flashing me.” Dean teased, starting to slip off his t-shirt and jeans as the water rises to about hip height.

 

“I promise you won’t have to see anything you don’t want to,” Castiel jokes with a flirtacious facade. 

 

Dean blushed and avoided eye contact as he quickly shed his underwear and slipped into the tub. He squeaked in surprise as Castiel dropped an orange (the fruit) sized purple ball into the water that fizzled and foamed up while releasing a lavender scent. The hunter couldn’t help but laugh and shake his head as a small plastic coated paper floated to the surface with a single word followed by a period on it.

 

‘Fuck.’

 

“I thought you might enjoy that.” Castiel chuckled as Dean sunk into the water while the angel stripped out of his clothes. “The saleswoman highly recommended it for laughs and relaxation. She said it’s called a bath bomb and apparently each one has it’s own name. She said she got a kick out of it when she used it herself since it is called ‘the f-bomb.’ I wasn’t really sure what I expected, but your reaction was certainly worth it.”

 

“Best f-bomb so far.” Dean grinned, leaning his head back as Castiel quickly placed a folded towel behind his neck and head before moving to the shower and slipping his underwear off.

 

“Well, I shall shower and get everything ready while you relax and wash up.” Castiel informed his hunter.

 

“Sounds good.” Dean agreed, closing his eyes and enjoying the hot water. 

 

As promised, Castiel took a quick shower and by the time Dean got done, all of the younger angel’s tasks had been fulfilled. There was a set of pajamas and clean underwear waiting for Dean, ‘An American Tail: the Mystery of the Night Monster’ (“Haha, very funny, Cas”) was ready to play, the covers were invitingly turned down, and there was a big glass of water sitting next to a bag of popcorn and two apple turnovers on a paper plate sitting on the night stand. Dean had to admit he was impressed. As the elder Winchester looked over to the other king bed, he saw Sam and Gabe practically conked out as the latter spooned the former. Upon the bed he and Cas shared, Dean saw his trio of plushes waiting for him. He shook his head and gently set them on the floor next to the bed.

 

“I was told these animated films were light-hearted while still exposing some interesting history and social commentary.” Castiel explained as he climbed in bed next to Dean wearing the matching set of pajamas. “To kids, as I understand, there’s supposedly simpler and more obvious messages like don’t be afraid of the dark and to respect others’ cultures and so on.”

 

“I don’t know about all that, Cas, to a kid they’re usually just entertainment unless the parent sits there and points those themes out to them.” Dean responded, grabbing the plate with the apple turnovers. “Want one?”

 

“Thank you but no, I’m still full from the fair.” Castiel answered, with a warm smile. “This is why I rarely go on vacation on Earth with Gabriel- he has no sense of limitations.”

 

“Fair enough. Gabe does seem pretty over the top when it comes to food.” Dean agreed. 

 

They both laughed and turned to the movie, letting it play and making comments every now and then. About two-thirds of the way through, Dean was out like a light and Castiel had a desire that he couldn’t stifle. He grabbed the Winnie the Pooh plush from beside the bed and gently pushed it into Dean’s grip, which the sleeping Winchester happily cuddled in his slumber. His boy looked so adorable, Castiel couldn’t help it. He took it one step further and pulled the black ‘mute button’ pacifier from where he had hid it in the nightstand. The younger angel had intended to be more direct with his little boy about where all this attention and caring was leading to, but in the end, he supposed he was more ‘chicken’ than angel because he was too afraid of how Dean would react. The very reason made the angel scoff at himself, a heavenly being who had seen wars, smitings, and many terrible things was afraid of a mere human getting angry or upset and telling him to fuck off. He shook his head in disappointment and took a deep breath. As he slipped back into bed and spooned Dean, he teased the hunter’s lips with the teat of the comfort object. Just when the angel was ready to give up, his boy took the pacifier and started to rhythmically suck on it. Castiel was so ecstatic that he stealthily grabbed his smart phone from the nightstand, cuddled up to his hunter, and snapped a picture as he kissed the young man’s temple. As he looked at the picture, his vessel’s heart fluttered with joy. He instantly set it as the wallpaper for both the home and lock screen without even pausing. Afraid that he might not be able to slip the stuffed bear and the pacifier back in their places before Dean awakens, Castiel attempted to slide the soother out of the man’s mouth, only to be astonished and overjoyed by the reaction it garnered. Instead of the pacifier sliding out as if it had never been, Dean started to fuss- Castiel swore that he thought his hunter was ready to dissolve into tears. So the angel did the only thing he thought he could do safely, left the comfort object where it was. He set an alarm on his phone and left the device on vibrate under his pillow. He knew from experience it would be enough to pull him from his meditation. So Castiel laid back down, cuddling Dean to his chest and slipped into a light meditation.

 

It wasn’t until the break of dawn that Castiel’s phone went off. Just as he planned, the angel arose from bed and got to work. Thankfully, the pacifier had fallen out in the night so Castiel was able to grab it and tuck it away and then slide the bear out of reach and back onto the floor. The angel decided to just get up for the day and start packing. As he went to his suitcase, he saw that Gabriel and Sam were still passed out too with the archangel snoring like a chainsaw. After gathering his polo and khakis (he promised he wouldn’t wear the suit while on vacation but he still had some desire to dress nicer than the first shirt and pants he found), he made sure his phone was on the nightstand so it wouldn’t be forgotten and entered the bathroom, closing the door behind him. 

 

Meanwhile, Dean awoke from his slumber rather abruptly. Between the lack of weight and heat from his angel being elsewhere and nearly rolling off the edge of the bed, he was more than ready to just wake up for the day. Besides, he was more used to being up early than not since some of his hunts were on a time crunch. So he rolled back to the middle of the bed, stretched, and yawned lazily. Curious about the time, Dean grabbed Cas’ phone- which was the closest since his was still in his jacket across the room- and tapped the screen until it lit up. Once it did, the Hunter couldn’t look away. It was about seven in the morning, but that wasn’t the source of his mixture of anger and shock. And if there was a little flutter of feeling loved and wishing he’d have been conscious of the events and been able to hear his angel coo at him and tell him nice things like night that Dean agreed to be the angel’s little boy, well nobody needed to know. Just like the fact that he was consciously acting like a little that night.

 

“CASTIEL!” Dean roared, his anger taking over. “Get your feathery ass out here!”

 

“Dean-o?” Gabriel slurred as he tried to blink the sleep away. “What’s the matter?”

“Daddy? Why’s the baby yelling?” Sam asked, still half asleep.

 

“Sammy!” Gabriel panicked, realizing what his boy had said. “How about we go get some breakfast? I’ll even give you a piggyback ride down to the dining room.”

 

“Okay, Daddy,” Sam sleepily yawned, holding on as Gabriel situated him and took off.

 

Castiel exited the bathroom, fully dressed and ready to go, and immediately went pale. Dean was holding his phone… The phone that had a picture that Dean wasn’t supposed to see yet… Oh the Angel Castiel was about to lose his wings…

 

“What the FUCK is this?” Dean demanded, thrusting the phone at his angel. “What the hell are you playing at?!”

 

Castiel ducked his head and sighed. He’d never cried in front of anyone but Gabriel before and now, the man who was practically a baby in age compared to himself, was about to see him at his most vulnerable. He hoped he’d be able to dodge explaining himself and what his own motivations were. Castiel only intended to tell Dean why the hunter needed what the angel was going to give. He was embarrassed and ashamed of why he wanted this so bad. When he looked back up, Dean’s anger seemed to have dissipated a bit.

 

“Sit down please, Dean,” Castiel requested, sitting down on the end of the bed. Dean seemed to hesitate but sat down anyway. 

 

“What’s going on, Cas?” Dean pressed, uncomfortable with the change in attitude.

 

“You remember how this body is only a vessel, correct?” Castiel began, continuing after Dean nodded. “Well, I also know all about James’ life since we had shared nearly everything before he passed. I still have all his memories and all of yours…”

 

“Okay, where is this going?”

 

“I…Oh, Dean, I don’t know how to explain this,” Castiel sniffed, frustrated as the tears threatened pool and spill over.

 

“I’m sure I’ll understand, just try…” Dean encouraged, feeling kind of bad about his reaction.This was clearly something hard for the angel.

 

“James had a daughter, as you know, Claire Novak. His memories of holding her after she was born, all the major milestones he saw with her… It was so… human and genuine and… familial… I’ve never really experienced anything like that… I was in the third most recent generation of angels and once I was only enough to care for the newest generation, I realized how different and… well, distant, our way of raising the cygnets- which in your world are baby swans.”

  
“So you never had actual parents like a mom and dad to raise you and stuff?” Dean asked, shocked and uncomfortable.

 

“No… We’re raised by the older generations. There can be anywhere from six to two dozen cygnets each generation. I actually wasn’t supposed to have been in the generation I was- I was born as the only one in it. Father told them I would do great things and learn quickly so they ignored me for the most part- Gabriel was the only one who was there for me when I was hurt or needed someone… I raised myself… So when I experienced your memories and James’, an odd- well, odd for an angel- desire and hurt grew within my heart…”

 

“Which was?”

 

“I want a baby, Dean…” Castiel confessed in a quiet, shaky voice as the tears won over.

 

“Then why not just have one? Haven’t your brothers and sisters had kids with humans?” Dean suggested, even more out of his element than before. Sure, he raised Sammy, but he didn’t think he’d ever want kids of his own- mostly because it didn’t fit his lifestyle. 

 

“I don’t want just any kid, Dean,” Castiel cried, burying his face in his hands as he felt Gabriel reach out to him through their connected Graces.

 

“It wouldn’t be just any kid, Cas, it’d be yours.” Dean pointed out, even more confused. 

 

“Mine and a random female human’s!” Castiel practically sobbed, trying to take a deep breath to steady himself. “I don’t even like females!”

 

“Whoa. What?! Since when?” Dean interrogated, unsure of how he could miss something so huge about someone he considered family.

 

“Since always, Dean…” Castiel hiccupped, starting to reign himself in. “Father wasn’t thrilled at first because angels weren’t meant to be that diverse or have any sort of free will. If anything he was scared and upset. He didn’t understand how I was born as the only angel of my generation either, so initially he thought it was a flaw as a result of my peculiar creation… It was because of my love and devotion to my Father that I became the good little soldier of your so-called ‘Heavenly Dick Squad.’ I never thought anyone but Gabriel would know, but now you do and I’m sure Sam’s figured it out and had Gabe confirm it.”

 

Dean wasn’t sure exactly how to respond so he said, “I’m sorry, Cas, that’s rough. But what are you planning to do then? Are you just gonna suffer through your existence pretending like you’re not gay and definitely don’t want kids or something?”

“No… I’m surprised you didn’t gather my intentions yet…” Cas sniffled. “I love you, Dean, I really do…”

  
Dean felt like a brick wall with ‘What the Fuck’ spray-painted on it just hit him and hit him hard. He was starting to pull it all together- Cas’ offer, wanting buy dinner, not minding staying the night, drawing him a bath, set up a kid’s movie, the stuffed prizes, the affection, the damn pacifier and the cursed picture on the angel’s phone. Castiel did love Dean, alright. Maybe a little too much…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I have read SailorChibi's Hatchling and adore it and yes it was to some extent an inspiration for this piece. In an attempt to not rip off the termnology or concept, though the ones used by SailorChibi are just the general terms for offspring of birds successfully repurposed for their fic, I decided to use cygnets, a more specific term since I've always thought of angels' wings as ones that would likely look like a Swan's wings. Also, just to be safe, I want to make it clear that the storyline is also significantly different given that Castiel's desires and headcannon back story are ones I have not come across in any other fic so far- and let's face it, I probably read too many... Anyhow, I hope that explanation was satisfactory and that I'm not stepping on any toes or anything.
> 
> Affections,  
> Lizzy


	4. The Lonely Cygnet and Father's Good Soldier

It was a peculiarity and all of Heaven was buzzing over the unexpected arrival, especially because the latest addition was early and also looked different than any angel so far. Father, for the first time in existence, was scared. He had never intended the heavenly child he created to come so early or to be so different. His children were fairly uniform to support equality and to avoid any room for jealousy or feelings of inequality. Even his high-spirited, mischievous archangel Gabriel was still visually uniform. He supposed he had let his mind wander too much during Creation this time around. He had been fascinated by the diversity that the humans had created amongst themselves. The one that seemed most odd to him was the combination of nearly black hair, pale skin, and blue eyes that seemed to change tint depending on the lighting. The wings were true oddity, however, never had an angel had such dark wings like the singular cygnet. His wings were black as the midnight sky with shimmers of the Aurora Borealis on the softest, strongest feathers the Father of Heaven had ever created. 

 

He supposed the result wasn’t that shocking given the insight that He had allowed his mind to be elsewhere.. The newest addition, Castiel as Father named him, was the most peculiar in appearance and demeanor. The newest cygnet had the darkest hair- not black but still a darker brown than any other angel with shimmers of blonde as brilliant as the sun He hung in the sky, the most beautiful and heavenly blue eyes, and porcelain skin. The demeanor was more alarming though. Instead of being almost entirely independent and without the needs of a human baby, Castiel was deeply reliant on affection and exactly that type of care, though he didn’t need food to survive, he needed it to feel close to the caregiver and so on. When left alone, he cried and cried and cried. He would cling to whoever would hold him until that Angel grew weary and left the child in the nest. The only one who seemed to handle the baby angel well was the one who met him last- Gabriel.

 

God couldn’t have been more grateful, and honestly astonished, when Gabriel came home to Heaven. The Archangel had been visited by many of his brothers and sisters, who had come to Earth to escape the needy cygnet. Upon hearing all the stories of the baby angel that was unlike any before it, Gabriel decided it was time to go back home. Fortunately for Father, the Archangel was completely smitten with the cygnet at first glance. Castiel had just started to open his brilliant and ever-changing sapphires when Gabriel approached his nesting crib. He whimpered and reached with both his arms and tiny wings for the new angel, in hopes that he wouldn’t have to be alone anymore. 

 

“Hello…” Gabriel breathed, afraid to touch the cygnet for fear he might break it. “You are beautiful… The others were very wrong about you.”

 

Though the older angel’s words soothed the youngest’s broken self esteem, it did nothing to make him feel at home. Castiel knew that a sign of acceptance and true love was caring for one another. While the cygnet had no hope of caring for his guardian, he could still make them smile and laugh, make them feel appreciated and loved. But it was hard to do if it wasn’t mutual since most of the angels seemed to hate him for one reason or another. So. Castiel tried his luck and started cry, softly at first and increasing until he was a sobbing mess with snot and tears streaking his beautiful, chubby face.

 

“Oh, shit! Don’t cry! Please little Cassie?” Gabriel pleaded, quickly and carefully taking the cygnet in his arms.

 

The reaction was almost immediate. Castiel’s tears slowed and cries quieted as the Archangel snapped up a warm, damp cloth and wiped away the evidence of cygnet’s meltdown. No one had ever given the baby angel a nickname or held him so close and lovingly before. 

 

“What was that all about, huh?” Gabriel asked, taking a seat in the rocking chair he willed into existence. “Were you scared cause you thought I was gonna be a big old meanie like the others?”

 

Castiel smiled sheepishly and looked up at the archangel through his thick lashes. He cooed at the older angel and buried his face in the other’s chest.

 

“Oh, Father, you’re too cute…” Gabriel groaned, slowly rocking the chair. “And that’s saying something since I usually hate cygnets.”

 

Castiel peered up at Gabriel and cooed once more, gurgling happily that he was the exception since all the others considered him the exception their affections.

 

“Gabriel, my dear trickster!” A familiar voice greeted.

 

“Hi, Father.” Gabriel greeted with an embarrassed blush. 

 

“I’m glad someone other than me sees little Castiel as family.” Father commented.

 

“The way I hear it, you’re still uncertain about him yourself…” Gabriel hesitated, not wanting to offend his Father after nearly a millennium of absence. 

 

“Only because he seems very human for being a cygnet.” God explained. “For the first time since the initial Creation, I was quite distracted while molding our newest addition. I fear he may not be fully angelic.”

 

“He is though, Father. I can feel it. Just because he has a few humanistic tendencies, doesn’t mean he’s not one of us…” Gabriel assured his creator.

 

“I trust that you’re right, Gabriel. I’ve been weary about trusting my own thoughts and feelings on the matter, but I believe you. No matter how much mischief you get into, I know you’re still honest.” God consented with a warm smile. “I love you all equally, of course, but there is a special place in my heart for your antics.”

 

Gabriel and his Father both had to laugh at that. And their hearts practically melted when Castiel giggled for the first time and as the youngest did so, a miracle occurred on Earth.

 

“It seems that this one is quite special,” God noted with love in his tone as he approached his angels and kissed the youngest’s forehead. “Did you feel that, Gabriel?”

 

“If you mean the miracle, then yes. Naomi Placket just gave birth to a healthy baby girl after being told her little one would be a stillborn.” Gabriel responded, grinning like an idiot as he locks eyes with the cygnet in his arms. “You are a little miracle, huh, Cassie?”

 

“He’s going to be very powerful someday.” God agreed, as Castiel grabbed his finger and started to suck on it. “He will certainly do great things.”

 

After a while of catching up and entertaining the youngest Angel, the cygnet started to fuss. Soon, the distress grew to the same Grace draining cries from when Gabriel first met Castiel.

 

“He wants to be fed,” God explained, handing a bottle of warm Grace to his Archangel. “I have a favor to ask of you.”

 

“What’s that?” Gabriel questioned, taking the bottle and coaxing the teat into the cygnet’s mouth.

 

“It’s in regards, to little Castiel.” God elaborated. “You are the only one who truly cares for our sweet cygnet so I wish you to be the one to look after him. He needs someone who can be there more than I can.”

 

“I don’t know, Dad…” Gabriel responded honestly. “If I’m gone from Earth too long, the humans that know me will get suspicious and worried. Cassie can’t leave Heaven until his wings are strong enough to carry him…”

 

“Well, at least come back often to check on him?” God suggested, feeling his heart break for the cygnet as the little one pushed the nearly finished bottle away and began to cry. “He loves you already, Gabriel… The separation will be excruciating, I fear.”

 

“I know, Dad, but I already have obligations down on Earth… I would have to make something up and keep a close watch on everything so no one catches onto my absence. Time moves so much faster down there, I don’t think I could keep track.” Gabriel lamented, attempting to lull Castiel back to contentment. “I… I hate to admit it, but I’m pretty sure he’s got me wrapped around his littlest pin feather.”

  
God took Castiel from his archangel as they finished their chat and said goodbye to Gabriel, who returned to Earth. Castiel didn’t fair well in the gaps between Gabriel’s visits, both the Heavenly Father and his closest angel certain that if the cygnet were human, he would’ve fallen gravely ill and become unresponsive. Gabriel had made a point to visit Heaven almost once each Earth day, but even that didn’t quite sway the youngest’s fears. Once Castiel was fully grown, he insisted that he would be just fine without his guardian and mentor. Over the years, Castiel had conformed and became the emotionless, obedient little soldier that all of his siblings already were. Gabriel’s heart had broken when he saw the cold husk that his baby brother had appeared to become, but said and did nothing since Castiel seemed to have gotten the one thing he had desired since the beginning. He finally had the acceptance and affections of all their siblings who only liked him now that he had conformed, which allowed them to ignore his peculiar appearance. Castiel only became himself once more after discovering and then saving one Dean Winchester.


	5. What Did You Do, Dean?

It took Dean longer than he liked to admit to figure out what to say back to his vulnerable angel. What does one say to an angel that was nearly forced to fall, and as a cygnet no less, due to the apathy of the ones he was supposed to be able to call family? Especially when the desires of said angel went against every atom of one’s upbringing and lifestyle…

 

“Look, Cas, you’re family so I love you too,” Dean awkwardly responded. “But this is fucked up and… Well, man, I don’t think I’m batting for the same team like you are anyway…”

 

“I’m sorry…” Castiel apologized, stumbling over his words and his own feet as he got up from the bed. “I… I need to… Um…”

 

“Cassie?!” Gabriel called as the door to the suite opened. “Cassie, come here, I need to talk to you.”

 

“Dean?!” Sam hollered, entering the bedroom as Castiel gathered his things and walked out. “What’s wrong with Cas? Why did it look like he’d been crying?”

 

“It wasn’t my fault, Sammy!” Dean snapped in defense. “He’s just upset cause of some shit that happened when he was growing up.”

 

“What do you mean? What shit?” Sammy interrogated, his arms crossing over his chest.

 

“Apparently, Cas is gay and had a super shitty childhood that still bothers him. Nothing we haven’t been through...” Dean answered, not looking Sam in the eye. “And what the fuck is wrong with you? Since when do you have a Daddy kink for Gabriel? And where the fuck do you get off calling  _ me _ the baby?”

 

“Seriously, Dean?!” Sam snapped. “Gabriel told me all about Cas and how he grew up almost entirely alone and how he has feelings for a certain jackass that made him burst into tears this morning. Gabriel and I have a mutual relationship that’s dual sided, sometimes he’s my boyfriend and sometimes we roleplay- nonsexually- as father and son since I didn’t get time with Dad where he wasn’t trying to whip my ass into shape because he was always afraid. You and Cas were supposed to be doing the same thing but you’re too damn stubborn to accept who you really are and that someone wants to take care of  _ you  _ for once! So I called you a baby because that’s what Cas and Gabe said they thought would be a good place to start for you since you’ve had way more memorable trauma than I have.”

 

Dean didn’t have a response to any of that. To think that his brother knew so much more about Dean’s angel than the older hunter himself was shameful. To top it all off, everyone seemed to be against him and pointing the finger at him for being in the wrong when he simply wanted to know what the fuck was happening. It was one thing to push for something so weird while he was awake and could consent or not and a whole other bag of snakes to just do things to him while he slept, trusting the other person to not take advantage of him and his slumber.

 

Meanwhile, in Castiel’s little patch of Heaven, Gabriel held his little brother on his lap while they sat on the swinging bench seat in the English Garden that was the younger angel’s favorite place in Heaven. Castiel was back to crying his eyes out, feeling like a helpless little cygnet all over again as the Archangel slowly moved the swing back and forth while murmuring reassurances. 

 

“It’s gonna be okay, honey.” Gabriel promised, gently stroking the younger’s feathers until Castiel shook him off and lurched off of his older brother’s lap.

 

“No, you don’t understand, Gabe!” Castiel sniffled, popping a handkerchief into existence and cleaning his face. “I’m a freak! Dean doesn’t even love me and he’s human! I’m the lowest of lows! Even Father admitted I’m not normal! I have eight wings now!”

 

“Cassie, you have all eight because Father adores your Aurora wings, but you’ve been elevated to an Archangel so you have the mark of an Archangel, the six wings that alight with Heavenly fire when you use them to their full potential. Father even made the others similar to your original wings, though they have much more red since your a Seraph now.” Gabriel explained, watching with a deep sorrow as his baby brother bound the six Seraph wings so no one could see them. “Please, Cassie, don’t be so hard on yourself. Dean said that he loved you back, but this is just so different to him. He doesn’t know his true feelings yet. Sam said that Dean had been denying his true sexuality for a long time.”

 

Castiel took a seat on the edge of beautiful, hand-carved stone fountain and stared into it’s crystal clear water as the last few tears he wept fell and disrupted the surface.Instead of seeing the beautiful Heavenly being that Gabriel adored and loved, he saw the outcast, the freakish monster that his own mind had decided he was. The angel hadn’t been so upset since Dean had been in Hell and Gabriel was worried that the unfortunate event that occurred last time would happen again. Just as the Archangel was starting to think that this wouldn’t be a case of deja vu, he felt it and he knew Castiel felt it by the cry of despair and guilt that ripped forth from the angel’s chest. The last time Castiel had been so distraught, nearly two dozen kids and adults died in a shooting done by a distraught and suicidal student at a high school. This time, some wack job shot up a movie theater and killed a group that was much more diverse in age- the one year old in the arms of the mom next to the shooter being the youngest to die. It was a curse of Castiel’s strength and power, not to mention peculiar Creation, that they knew from experience couldn’t be helped, but that made it all the more special when the younger angel was overjoyed and miracles occurred left and right.

 

“Cassie, baby, come here.” Gabriel softly called, relieved when the younger angel came over and curled up in the archangel’s lap as the elder started to hum a song. “Let those fools be loud, Let alarms ring out 'Cause you cut through all the noise. Let the days be dark, Let me hate my work 'Cause you cut through all the noise. Bring me some hope By wandering into my mind Something to hold onto Morning, or day, or night. You were the light that is blinding me, You're the anchor that I tie to my brain 'Cause when it feels when I'm lost at sea, You're the song that I sing again and again. All the time, all the time I think of you all the time.

 

“Let the parties end when we lose our friends 'Cause you cut through all the noise. Let the years roll on 'till the static comes, 'Cause you cut through all the noise. Bring me some hope By wandering into my mind Something to hold onto Morning, or day, or night. You were the light that is blinding me,” Gabriel sang, alternately petting the younger angel’s wings and hair. “You're the anchor that I tie to my brain 'Cause when it feels like I'm lost at sea, You're the song that I sing again and again. All the time, all the time I think of you all the time. All the time, all the time I think of you all the time. Bring me some hope By wandering into my mind Something to hold onto Morning, or day, or night. You were the light that is blinding me You're the anchor that I tie to my brain 'Cause when it feels when I'm lost at sea, You're the song that I sing again and again. All the time, all the time I think of you all the time. All the time, all the time I think of you all the time…”

 

After Gabriel finished singing Bastille’s “The Anchor,” Cas was calm and grateful but still sad as he looked into his big brother’s eyes, clinging to the archangel like he had as a cygnet, a mere cherub. Gabriel felt his Grace stutter in sympathetic sadness as he rocked them and kissed the younger’s forehead.

 

“I love you, Gabe…” Castiel sniffled.

 

“I love you too, baby.” Gabe responded, holding Cas as if he were still that same clingy cygnet from many millenniums ago. “I promise, big br-”

 

“Dad…” Castiel interrupted, making Gabriel’s Grace flutter with joy.

 

“Okay, honey, Dad’s gonna make it all better.” Gabriel agreed, remembering when Cas called him ‘Daddy’ for the first time as a cygnet. “Do you wanna take a snooze while I go check on Sammy?”

 

“Yes, I don’t feel up to doing much else…” Castiel submitted. “You… you won’t be long, will you… Daddy?”

 

“No, sweet pea. I’ll be back before you even wake up.” Gabriel promised. “Do you wanna sleep in your garden or in Daddy’s bed in his little patch of Serenity Beach?”

 

“Yours…” Castiel answered, knowing from stealing Gabe’s shirts and blankets in the past that the separation was easier if he could try and trick his mind with the archangel’s scent.

 

“You got it, baby.” Gabe consented, flying them over to his Heavenly beach.

 

Once there, he tucked Castiel into the super plush bed and stepped over to the dresser. When he returned to his little angel, he laid a hand made quilt over the younger angel. The quilt was made of various shirts that Gabriel had either made or altered for his cherub growing up.There were even patches made from the onesies that the archangel had brought from Earth. Each patch was put into chronological order, showing the progression up until the present.

 

“What’s this?” Castiel asked, rubbing the plush backed material between his fingers.

 

“Just a little something for my ‘Ugly Duckling’ made from all his old shirts.” Gabriel explained, unbinding Castiel’s Seraph wings and beginning to groom them.

 

“Where did you learn to sew, let alone quilt?” 

 

“I used to work at a retirement community. The ladies there had a club for it and I was supposed to be there to supervise just in case something happened or to help them if they needed it. Some of them had weak legs in their old age so someone had to be there just in case it was bad day.” Gabriel explained, lovingly but quickly making his way to the second set of wings. “Also, with their deteriorating eyesight, they needed young eyes to help thread needles. Everything else they could do and probably had enough practice to do in their sleep.”

 

“I didn’t know that…” Castiel sleepily remarked, laying on his stomach with all eight wings outstretched while Gabriel moves onto the third set. “I love it, Daddy, thank you…”

 

“Anything for my baby angel.” Gabriel assured him and it was clear he meant it as he ducked his head to kiss Castiel’s cheek.

 

After the final set, Castiel’s original wings from Creation, the younger was nearly ready to drift off. Gabriel tried his luck at slipping away only to find Castiel smacking him with one of his wings. The trickster had to laugh as his sleepy little one grinned back. The archangel sat down on the edge of the bed and started stroking the younger’s wings.

 

“Will you go to sleep if I sing for you one more time?” Gabriel bargained.

 

“Mmhmm.” Castiel hummed.

 

Gabriel had to think for a moment. With all his knowledge of current and old favorites, he had quite the selection to pick from. Castiel seemed to love songs from some of the more modern bands, anything from Mayday Parade to Mumford and Sons to Bastille and Owl City. The archangel focused on the favorites of his younger brother and tried to find the perfect song. That’s when it hit him. Death Cab for Cutie had the perfect song for just this occasion.

 

“Love of mine, Someday you will die But I'll be close behind. I'll follow you into the dark. No blinding light Or tunnels, to gates of white. Just our hands clasped so tight, Waiting for the hint of a spark. If Heaven and Hell decide that they both are satisfied Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs. If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks, Then I'll follow you into the dark. Catholic school, as vicious as Roman rule, I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black. I held my tongue as she told me, son Fear is the heart of love, so I never went back.” Gabriel sang softly to his former cygnet. “If Heaven and Hell decide that they both are satisfied, Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs. If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks Then I'll follow you into the dark. You and me have seen everything to see, From Bangkok to Calgary. The soles of your shoes are all worn down. The time for sleep is now. It's nothing to cry about Cause we'll hold each other soon, The blackest of rooms. If Heaven and Hell decide that they both are satisfied, Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs. If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks Then I'll follow you into the dark. I'll follow you into the dark…”

  
Just as the archangel had planned, Castiel was out like a light. He chuckled quietly to himself and slowly stood up, stretching as he went. After a couple minutes of waiting to make sure the younger angel didn’t awaken, Gabriel tip-toed out of the beach house and stretched his wings out to ready himself for the journey back to Earth. He only hoped Sammy hadn’t murdered Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all liked this chapter as it took me what felt like forever to fine tune it. I felt like it was only fair that if Castiel was powerful enough as a cygnet to cause a miracle just by giggling, there should be a consequence for his sorrow as well. So there you go, mass murders happen I guess (Jeez, sorry Cassie! Poor little Cherub...). Honestly, I think the anger is the only one he's able to control because that can be helped and controlled, but with such extremes when it comes to emotions on scales of happiness or sadness, he can't control a damn thing.
> 
> Anyways, hope it was good! Hope everyone enjoyed the throwback interactions between Gabe and Cassie.
> 
> Affections,  
> Liz


	6. Aftermath

When Dean and Sam went to the front desk to check out at 2 pm as they were told the previous night, Eve was surprised and informed them that the suite was booked for another two days. The brothers had looked at each other and shrugged. Who were they to look the gift horse in the mouth? So they took everything back upstairs and decided to make use of the amenities the hotel had to offer. Sam wouldn’t say much to Dean outside of discussions of food and whether he would be elsewhere but with his cell or not. Dean supposed he deserved that since he inadvertently chased off his brother’s archangel as well since Gabe had left with Cassie, in addition to what Sam was calling his ‘douchebaggery.’ And since when was that a term? Especially for Sam, who was such a right and proper Grammar Nazi. The whole day passed and Sam was being a nuisance because he kept going back and forth about whether he should pray to Gabriel or not. He was afraid to interrupt any soothing the archangel was likely doing for the younger angel- he was not a jackass like his older brother. So he ultimately didn’t pray to his angel, even though he really wanted him to come back and wanted to know if Cas was alright. Not even Gabriel finding out the nearest Cheesecake Factory had closed and crying for what felt like a week could compare to the absolute devastation that he saw on the younger angel. It was safe to say that when Sam heard the unmistakeable sound of angel wings, he nearly screamed like a little girl at her first boy band concert. Instead he simply jumped off the bed and took his angel into his arms in the most intense hug the archangel had experienced since Castiel had broken a wing as a very young cygnet. Dean sat back with his legs pulled to his chest and avoided eye contact.

 

“Gabe!” Sam breathed, finally releasing his angel. “How’s Cas?”

 

“Did I ever tell you what happens when Cassie gets like that?” Gabe asked, hesitant to divulge his brother’s secret. 

 

“No, you never mentioned that anything happens.” Sam answered, confused and concerned. “He doesn’t lose his grace or his feathers or anything, does he?”

 

“Oh no, no, no, no! Nothing like that, but if you’re Cassie, the given consequence is just as bad if not worse.” Gabriel qualified, sitting down on Sam’s bed and glancing over at Dean as the older hunter laid down and turned away, pretending to go to sleep. “This kind of despair has only happened one other time and it was almost as devastating, but this one really took the cake…”

 

“What happened?” Sam pressed, sitting down next to his angel.

 

“Castiel is a very powerful angel and he was from Creation. When he was first created, Castiel spent a lot of time alone before I came home to see what all the fuss and griping was about. Funny thing is, it was winter on Earth when Cassie was born. It was time when everything should have died off and yet there he was… Anyways, when I was holding him, he giggled for the first time.” Gabriel explained, chuckling at the look on Sam’s face. “I’m getting there, but I thought I’d tell you how we discovered this gift and curse. So, when he giggled, Father was there as well. We both felt it, and I think Cassie did too because he looked like he felt blessed by Father, as if God had created everything just for him. There’s a certain sensation that all of us in Heaven can feel if they know to look for it and that sensation is almost like a pleasant shiver through one’s Grace. That shiver is almost like when a phone vibrates to give you a notification, instead of social media or text messages, our shiver tells us when a miracle happens. That giggle saved a human baby from being a stillborn. Naomi Placket had been told that her baby was going to be a stillborn, but as they were getting ready to surgically remove the fetus, it surged with life. Naomi gave birth via c-section to the healthiest preemie baby girl the world had ever seen and it made international news.”

 

“That’s amazing!” Sam commented, clearly awestruck. “Why didn’t Cas ever tell us?”

 

“Cassie’s pretty damn humble, even for an angel. These days I guess he doesn’t feel like it counts since his sadness causes tragedies.” Gabriel continued, suddenly looking far from his youthful self. “When Dean was dragged to Hell to save you, Cassie had been watching him from a distance for awhile. He had grown so attached because he felt that on some level he could relate to your brother and it nearly drained his Grace to see that Hellhound going after him and dragging his ass to Hell. Castiel had been trying to hide his emotions and be a good little soldier, but when everyone turned against him after he questioned why they weren’t doing anything to save Dean, he wilted so much… “

 

“What happened then?” Sam wondered aloud.

 

“His utter devastation caused the shooting at a high school in DeKalb, Illinois. 21 nearly fatally injured and five dead. He felt so awful, but I had to bind his hands and wings because he had claimed he was going to rip out each feather and siphon his Grace out of himself. He would have fallen if I hadn’t stayed with him. Once he was no longer hysterical, I helped him realize he could save Dean. And so Heaven’s baby journeyed through Hell to save your jackass but well-intentioned- most of the time- brother.” Gabriel elaborated, a small sad smile gracing his lips. “This time, it was a shooting at a theater. Some nut job went in and shot the place up. What really tore Cassie apart about this one was that the youngest dead was a one year old in his mother’s arms. I was lucky that Cassie was just numb enough that I didn’t have to bind his wings or hands.”

 

“Why didn’t Cas ever warn us about this?” Sam questioned, conflicted about the new information on their friend and family member. “What if we had been in one of those places, you know? Or what if he just disappeared and left us here to worry? I can’t speak for Dean, but judging by his nonstop sulking, he’s pretty upset and seems to feel pretty damn guilty about what he did to Cas…”

 

“Sammy, you’re the only two that know other than Father and me. We can’t risk anyone else knowing. If the others knew about Cas’ inability to stop these tragedies, they’d kill him once and for all.” Gabriel responded. “I can’t lose him, Sammy. I’ve raised him since he was just a cygnet, a baby angel, a tiny Cherub. I wouldn’t be able to live if he died.”

 

“I understand that, but how… how do they not know that Cas is causing these insane tragedies?”

 

“Dad takes the blame for them, claiming it was what he intended. When the school shooting happened, he told them that it was supposed to be a wake up call for the humans about putting too much pressure on their children and to be kinder to one another because bullying can cause people to snap. I’m guessing he’ll say something similar about the theater shooting…” Gabriel sighed, running a hand through his hair.

 

“Jeez, poor Cas… He must be really suffering right now…” Sam sympathized. “Is he gonna be alright?”

 

“Cassie’s a good little soldier,” Gabriel grimaced. “He might curl in on himself again, at least for a while, but he’s not going to stop existing anytime soon. And by soon, I mean Heaven’s concept.”

 

“I hope Dean heard all that,” Sam admitted, looking over at his brother’s sleeping form.

 

“Judging by the discomfort and grief rolling off him, I’d say he did and Karma’s definitely come back to bite him.” Gabriel assured the younger Winchester. “I almost feel bad for him.”

 

“Same…” Sam agreed. “Are you staying the night?”

 

“No, I promised I’d be back before Cassie wakes up so I should probably get back.” Gabriel negated. “When I come back, he’ll be with me, though. Once something like this happens, he’s pretty much glued to my side. You’ll get a taste of what he was like as a cygnet.”

 

“I’m sure it’s pretty adorable, but that’s a pretty drastic change for someone like Cas.”

 

“Yep…” Gabriel sighed in agreement. “Well, Sammy, I guess I’m off to Heaven. I’ll see you sometime tomorrow.”

  
The two got up and hugged before Gabriel kissed his boyfriend and took off. Sam looked at the clock on the bedside table and decided it was time to turn in for the night. He got ready for bed and crashed pretty hard. The exhaustion from his previous worrying having worn him down. Little did the younger Winchester know, his big brother was going to have a change of heart overnight. Nightmares go a long way when it comes to changing someone’s mind.


	7. You Break My Heart

Dean was running through Hell. He could see the way out if only he could just get there without being burned to a crisp. To make things more interesting, Azazel decided to join the Hellhounds in their chase. He would appear in front of Dean blocking the way with some instrument of torture or another to force the elder Winchester into taking the more challenging path that had more chasms and flames than the other. Finally, Dean had escaped, but it was for naught because there was nothing but black. That’s when he heard a familiar voice.

 

“All I have... to you, in dark times... be us… I will give… when no one wants to... give you me... there’s no one else... All I’ve done, you’ve done too… walls… hide behind... you just walk through… to take you apart... I know you’re hurt… You broke down. Why don’t you tell me from the start… I want to mend your heart.... who knows me, like you do. What I’ve done, You’ve done too.. The walls I hide behind, you walk through, you just walk through…” Castiel’s voice stuttered, coming in and out of coherence as the dark began flickering to light.

 

“Cas?!” Dean called, looking all around for the angel. “Where are you?”

 

“ I raised myself… experienced... memories and… odd for an angel… desire and hurt... within my heart…” Castiel’s voice echoed, sounding like it was a lot closer than before.

 

As Castiel came into view, he was knelt on the ground with mangled swan wings attached to his back with his angel blade piercing into his chest as he said, “I love you, Dean, I really do…”

 

“Then why are you doing this?!” Dean cried, hot tears burning his face. “You can’t die! I need you!”

 

“Castiel had been trying to hide his emotions and be a good little soldier, but when everyone turned against him after he questioned why they weren’t doing anything to save Dean, he wilted so much…” Gabriel’s voice came through, appearing behind the younger angel as he stared Dean down with a burning hatred in his golden eyes. “I had to bind his hands and wings because he had claimed he was going to rip out each feather and siphon his Grace out of himself.”

 

“Why didn’t you save him?!” Dean sobbed, staring at the mangled angel on the ground before him as shining silver Grace pooled out of him. “That was my angel!!! He’s my Daddy!!!”

 

“I’ve raised him since he was just a cygnet, a baby angel, a tiny Cherub.” Gabriel responded, though it wasn’t a natural response to such a question. “I wouldn’t be able to live if he died…”

 

Gabriel took a hold of Castiel’s angel blade and pierced it through himself. Dean dropped to his knees and cried even harder, practically screaming. He curled up in a ball in the growing puddles of Grace, clinging to his dying angel and hiding from the blank stare of the one he caused to commit suicide. The Grace was warm, which was wrong because it should have burned him but it was fading and losing heat, and soaking into Dean’s clothes. Dean bawled his eyes out. He suddenly felt very small, very damp. He felt like he was a three year that had an accident and it only upset him more.

 

Suddenly, Dean jolted awake and looked around to see he was actually still in the hotel the angels had reserved their room for. He didn’t even realize he was sobbing until Sam came over and tried to console him- the key word being  _ tried _ . Dean was so out of it and so far gone that he didn’t even realize it was his baby brother. In the end, the older Winchester roughly shoved the taller man away and refused to let the younger Winchester anywhere near him.

 

Back in Heaven before Dean awoke, Gabriel had arrived back at his humble yet magnificent beach home. Castiel was just barely starting to stir and come out of his ‘slumber.’ The younger angel yawned and stretched on his back in the same manner he had when he was still a cygnet. His limbs weren’t quite fully extended and his head tilted to the side with a sleepy, happy smile gracing his beautiful face.

 

“Hi, baby!” Gabriel cooed, scooping his younger brother up as if Castiel were a Cygnet just learning to stretch his wings. “Did you have a nice nap?”

 

Castiel nodded shyly and buried his face in his ‘Daddy’s’ chest after deftly snatching up the blanket the archangel had made for him. Gabriel couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen his Cassie so sweet and cuddly. It made his Grace ache and swell with joy all at once. He sat there rocking his baby angel and humming a song that made him think of his precious cygnet.

 

“You know, sweet pea, you’re so special that Daddy felt love for a cygnet and came home almost every Earth day just because he loved you.” Gabriel informed Castiel, watching the younger angel peek up at him curiously as the archangel went back to humming. “Your eyes, they tie me down so hard. I'll never learn to put up a guard. So keep my love, my candle bright. Learn me hard oh, learn me right. This ain't no sham. I am what I am. Though I may speak, some tongue of old Or even spit out some holy word. I have no strength from which to speak When you shoot me down and see I'm weak. We will run and scream. You will dance with me. They'll fulfill our dreams And we'll be free And we will be who we are And they'll heal our scars. Sadness will be far away. So as we walked Through fields of green, It was the fairest sun I'd ever seen. And I was broke, I was on my knees. You said yes as I said please.”

 

Gabriel smiled warmly at Castiel and nudged the angel with his Grace to encourage him to sing along.

 

“This ain't no sham. I am what I am. I'll leave no time For a cynic's mind.” Castiel joined in, recognizing the Mumford and Sons song that the archangel used to sing as his lullaby. “We will run and scream. You will dance with me. Fulfill our dreams And we'll be free. We will be who we are And they'll heal our scars. Sadness will be far away. Do not let my fickle flesh go to waste As it keeps my heart and soul in its place. And I will love with urgency But not with haste.”

 

“I love that song because it always makes me think of you and all the things we did as you were growing up.” Gabriel told him. “Sometimes, it makes me sad that you’re such a big boy and already off to start your own family. But I also know all cygnets and babies have to grow up sometime, but that doesn’t mean they’ll never come back home.”

 

Castiel clutched a hand to Gabriel’s shirt and had to resist the urge to suck on his blanket like he used to when he was just a cygnet. It was hard not think he was still that small, helpless newborn angel when Gabriel was his Daddy and made him feel so small and yet so safe.

 

“Why don’t we go watch your show, hm?” Gabriel suggested, carrying the younger angel on his hip out to the living room.

 

Castiel had to smile as he clutched his blanket close to his chest. Gabriel really didn’t care for the younger’s favorite kid’s show, but the archangel humored him just the same. Gabe had once grumbled that it desensitized youths from the dangers in the world by making them think monsters were friends and that it was such a girly show. Despite his opposition and instinct, he curled up on the couch with Cassie and put on Monster High, where the slogan was “Be yourself, be unique, be a monster!” Yet another reason why Gabriel frowned upon Castiel watching the show- it furthered the impressionable angel’s self- image of being a freak, a monster, just because God made him different than anyone else. 

 

And so the show started off with the typical intro song, “ Monster, Monster High Monster High, Monster, Monster High Come on, don't be shy Monster High The party never dies Monster, Monster High Monster High, Monster, Monster High Freaky, chic 'n' fly Monster High Where student bodies lie. Ay, Frankie's got me fallin' apart. Uhh, Draculaura's stealin' my heart (heart). Clawdeen Wolf ya make me howl at the moon (Awooooo!). Lagoona, you're the finest fish in this lagoon (Ah!). Cleo de Nile you so beguile Even though you act so vile (Oh!) And Deuce has stone cold style. These are my boos, my skeleton crew A little strange, but so are you! Don't you wanna be a Monster too?”

 

Gabriel internally cringed like always as Castiel giggled, clapping happily and fluttering his wings as the intro ended. He loved seeing his baby so happy, but not when it was a result of watching a show that told him being a monster was okay and that if you’re different, whether werewolf, zombie, ghost or angel (there was literally only one in the school and she didn’t even look different from your average angel), you’re a monster. 

 

Gabe could remember the first time he ever took Cassie on a hunt- a night he’d never forget. Castiel was maybe equivalent to a preschool aged human at the time and much more fascinated with the archangel’s fiery wings than anything else as the cygnet sucked on a soother (yet another difference between his baby and all the other heavenly offspring- his needed something to self-soothe because he felt emotions and certainly very strongly). They were hunting both a striga and a wendigo. The two had crossed paths and caught the attention of Heaven after killing three human hunters. With those hunters and all the other victims, Heaven decided it was time to intervene so God sent Gabriel, both assuming it would do their intellectually advanced cygnet some good to see what he would one day have to do. The wendigo died with only a few frightened tears on Castiel’s part, but the striga was the real terror to the cherub. They had caught it right when it started to feed of a kindergartener who was half-asleep. Before Gabriel could smite the creature, tiny Castiel began to sob in earnest, both out of fear of the thing and grief for the child the cygnet assumed to already be dead. Gabriel had to take out his angel blade and do it the more human way but one-handed since there was no chance he was letting go of Cassie when the little one needed him more than ever. It wasn’t that difficult, but more annoying. After the Striga was dead, they stuck around long enough to make sure the kid was alright. The small boy was dazed, but otherwise fine so Gabriel took his baby back to Heaven. It was only then that the younger angel put up a fuss because his favorite pacifier was missing. When they peered down into the boy’s bedroom through the ocean at Gabriel’s piece of Heaven, they saw it in the boy’s hand. There was no mistaking it, for it had the inscription in white gold, “Your angel’s watching over you.” The parents came into the room, claiming they heard noise and upon seeing the pacifier (“they might not have any concept of age or time…” the mother had theorized), both assumed that it was a gift from Heaven meant to reassure the small family. Upon seeing that, Castiel had accepted his favorite soother was gone, especially when Gabriel made him another one.

 

Gabriel was brought out of his memory when Castiel suddenly jumped out of his lap and gave off a much more mature vibe as the younger’s blanket smacked the archangel in the face.

 

“Baby, where’s the fire?” Gabriel joked, losing his grin as the younger glared at him. “What’s wrong, sweet pea?”

 

“The fire is in Dean’s nightmare,” Castiel answered with just a touch of anger. “He just woke up sobbing and he’s wet himself. Sammy keeps trying to console him but he’s so out of it, he doesn’t know who’s with him.”

 

“Go ahead, hun, go take care of your baby.” Gabriel reluctantly encouraged, fighting the sigh of annoyance that was demanding to be released. “I’ll be there shortly after.” 

 

With that, Castiel took off. Gabriel was torn between wanting to break everything in sight and cry for his baby being so helplessly in love with the wrong kind of person. Logically, he knew that Dean was actually one of the most loving, protective and strong people on God’s green Earth but that counted for very little in the archangel’s mind when that same person upset his baby to the point that he accidentally caused another of the most talked about massacres in modern human society. As if his baby didn’t already feel like hell’s scum and then the disaster occurs and reminds him that he’s different and can’t help it. All in all, being with someone stuck with years of built of dysfunctionality was the last thing his poor baby needed.

 

“Dad, what do I do?” Gabriel questioned in a choked whisper as he gave into tears. “Please give me the strength to not kill Dean Winchester for hurting our special baby angel.”

  
And so, Gabriel cried his heart out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Gabe sings is "Not with Haste" by Mumford and Sons.


	8. Your Guardian Angel

Sam startled from his place on the floor- his latest attempt to calm his older brother went even worse than the others. The sound of numerous pairs of wings sounded through the room until the Angel Castiel appeared, quickly binding his six Seraph wings. He quickly and passively helped Sam up and onto the other bed. He sat down next to Dean, who recoiled from him and cried harder at the feeling of his cold, damp skin beginning to itch and burn. Castiel smiled sadly at the man and decided to try an approach that Dean had responded well to in the past.

 

“ Broken, this fragile thing now And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces. And I've thrown my words all around, But I can't, I can't give you a reason. I feel so broken up (so broken up), And I give up (I give up), I just want to tell you so you know..” Castiel sings in a quiet calm tone, knowing Yellowcard is probably one of the few bands that Dean, outside of classic rock bands, actually likes. “ Here I go, Scream my lungs out and try to get to you, You are my only one. I let go, There's just no one that gets me like you do You are my only, My only one. Made my mistakes, let you down And I can't, I can't hold on for too long. Ran my whole life in the ground And I can't, I can't get up when you’re gone.”

 

Slowly, Dean starts to calm down. He remembers being in the Impala with Castiel while the song was playing. He had to laugh at Cas for getting all teary-eyed about a song he only just heard for the first time. Dean hadn’t understood that Castiel had felt what the song was about at the time. When all that happened, Dean had just gotten out of the hospital for some injury or another (he got injured so often, they all just blurred together). He supposed he should have been a little nicer to his angel since Cas had come and healed him so he could leave.

 

“And something's breaking up (breaking up), I feel like giving up (like giving up), I won't walk out until you know.. Here I go Scream my lungs out and try to get to you, You are my only one. I let go There's just no one that gets me like you do You are my only, My only one.” Castiel continued his quiet and much calmer cover of Yellocard’s “Only One” which seemed to be bringing his boy back to reality. “Here I go, So dishonestly. Leave a note For you my only one. And I know, You can see right through me. So let me go And you will find someone. Here I go, Scream my lungs out and try to get to you, You are my only one. I let go, There's just no one, no one like you You are my only, My only one…”

 

“Cassie?” Dean sniffled, wiping his tears away with his hand. 

 

“Welcome back, Dean.” Castiel greeted with a soft smile and his hands folded awkwardly in his lap.

 

Dean lunged at Castiel, hugging the man tightly and crying apologies into the angel’s shoulder. As he did so, something felt a little different-good, but different. Only Cas knew that Dean was feeling the angel’s wings- all eight as he unbound the other six for that purpose- wrapped around him.  The angel felt bad for his reaction to Dean’s rejection. Everyone had been so mean to his boy just because he was upset. While he was grateful that he had people who loved him so much, he couldn’t help being disappointed that they hadn’t just sat down with Dean and said something like, ‘hey, I know this is weird and all, but try to understand why Cas is asking this and all’ instead of just yelling at Dean for reacting like anyone not already into kinks and roleplays like age play. 

 

“Sammy, go run a bath, please.” Castiel requested.

 

“Okay, Cas…” Sam agreed, still shaken by seeing his brother so upset and lost. “Is Gabe coming soon?”

 

“I’m sure he’ll pop up after I get Dean situated. He’s still a little upset about all that’s happened recently.” Castiel answered, rubbing his hunter’s back.

 

Sam nodded and went to the bathroom to start a bath for his brother. Dean suddenly pulled back, realizing that he had wet himself earlier and was getting the stale urine all over his angel. He flushed and curled in on himself again.

 

“Um… thanks,” Dean said, avoiding eye contact. “For, you know… coming here… You can go now… If… If you don’t wanna stay… I know I was kind of an ass about things earlier…”

 

“First of all, I want to be here. Second of all, you weren’t an ass. You reacted how just about adult would have. Gabriel and Sam overreacted to what happened. Even I did…” Castiel explained with a sigh. “I just felt so awful about being so… well different and that once again, those thoughts, desires, and emotions got me shamed and isolated as a freak…”

 

“Cas, you’re not a freak… Granted it’s not a normal thing to ask a grown man to pretend to be a baby for your enjoyment, but that doesn’t mean you’re some sort of freak.” Dean disagreed, relieved that it wasn’t necessarily his fault that Cas had gotten upset. “I still feel bad that I made you feel like that after Gabe told us what happened, but I admit it’s a huge relief it’s not entirely my fault.” 

 

“Oh Father… Gabe told you?” Cas questioned, looking terrified and uncomfortable.

 

“Yeah, he kind of gave us a history lesson about you…” Dean confessed, scrubbing a hand through his disheveled and oily hair. “I don’t think you need to worry about anyone else finding out about your powers though. I doubt Gabe would have told us if there was even the slightest chance that any of the other angels would hear.”

 

“It’s not just the angels that will kill me and Gabe forgets that…” Castiel explained in low tones. “Every supernatural being will want me dead… Some already do.”

 

“What are you talking about?” Dean pressed. “None of them can really tell the angels apart and they definitely don’t live to tell of the angel that kicked their asses anyway.”

 

“As a cygnet, once we start to understand our wings and that we can control them, we start going with the older angels to learn our future jobs and positions in Heaven. Because of my power and being watched by an Archangel, it was determined that I would be a soldier- one of the highest ranked soldiers.” Castiel elaborated, keeping his volume low. “Sometimes we’d be sent into situations where two or more supernatural beings crossed paths by accident. In those cases, it’s not hard to be seen and have word spread- especially when you’re the only angel with certain features… On more than one of those hunts, I was seen by other supernatural beings than the one we were targeting at the time.”

 

“But how? You angels are always so quick and thorough…”

 

Now, it was Castiel’s turn to avoid eye contact. He was ashamed of his demeanor and behavior as a cherub. Even more so, he hated having to admit he was the reason that it took so much longer for any new angels to go into the field. Ever since Castiel’s training, Heaven had been much more careful about how young the newest additions were when they were sent to learn their trade- even the Guardian Angels upped the age that their trainees were when they started. If the angel grew a certain attachment too soon, they would likely be killed for altering the plan for that human later in life.

 

“Cas?” Dean prompted, becoming more concerned about the angel.

 

“It’s my fault… I know it is…  I was the first angel created with such humanistic traits that isn’t a half breed. Physically, I grew much like a human. I had to learn to sit up, crawl, stand, and walk before I could learn to control my wings. Emotionally, it was the same way. I had to start with the emotions of a human infant and then mature from there. As my physical capabilities expanded, my emotions adapted to fit that stage. When I was learning to walk and later to fly, I would have the same reactions as a human child of that age. If I fell, I cried- especially if I got hurt.” Castiel began, still not making eye contact and watching his hands instead. “Intellectually, I was just as advanced as any angel. I knew and understood far more than any human at any age. It was because of my intellect that Father encouraged Gabriel to take me on Hunts…”

 

“Okay, but what happened while you two were hunting?”

 

“Dean, when I started training to be a hunter, I was emotionally and physically the equivalent of a human child that was barely two years old.” 

 

“What the fuck?! Why would anyone, human or otherwise, take a baby on a hunt?” Dean demanded, remembering how he and his father did their damnedest to keep Sam as far away from hunts as possible- which made him wonder where Sam was at the moment.

 

“He’s in the bathroom with Gabriel.” Castiel answered the silent inquiry. “Keep your voice down, please. Gabriel still feels bad about taking me on those hunts. Anyway, I remember my first Striga… A part of me knew that realistically, I was in no danger between Gabriel’s power and my own- though mine was still a wild card as you might call it. But the rest of me was ruled by my emotions. My childish feelings told me to be scared- terrified- and to grieve because the child was surely dead already when we found the two. With my emotions telling me to seek out comfort from Gabriel, my intellect told me that experience demanded I cry to get his attention…”

 

Dean knew where the story was going, but he wasn’t about to interrupt Castiel when the angel was opening up about something so traumatic that made him feel so guilty.

 

“So, I cried my eyes out. The Striga stopped feeding, but she was pissed. Instead of trying to save herself, she stayed to fight us to claim her victim fully. Gabriel had intended to just snap his fingers and smite her, but with her lunging at us, he didn’t want to risk anything happening to me. So he fought her with his angel blade. He still killed her, but he was terrified so it took longer because he was more concerned with protecting me than killing her.” Castiel admitted, looking near to tears with guilt again.

 

It went against every manly bone in his body, but Dean knew he had to do something for his angel after all the Heavenly being had done and gone through for and because of him. So Dean crawled across the bed to the angel and nudged his way into the angel’s lap, curling up as small as possible. He looked up at the angel through girlish eyelashes as Castiel wrapped his wings and arms around the hunter.

 

“Well, I told you something difficult and shameful,” Castiel reasoned, “Why don’t you tell me what all happened in your dream? I stopped seeing anything after I saw you running through hell.”

 

Suddenly, Dean felt very small again. The memory of the dream left him feeling helpless and uncomfortable, not to mention very young. He was still confused about his own responses in the dream- since when did he see Cas as a father figure?

 

“I ran through hell… Azazel kept showing up and forcing me to take the more dangerous paths while the hellhounds kept chasing me…” Dean recalled, not meeting the angel’s eyes this time. “I escaped, but everything was black… I couldn’t see two inches in front of me… Then I started hearing your voice… I think you were singing or something? And then you appeared and the things you were saying, I’d heard before… But…”

 

Castiel rubbed Dean’s back and nudged the man with his Grace as if to say ‘go on.’

 

“You looked terrible when you appeared in front of me… you had swan wings, but they were all torn up and missing feathers in a lot of places. You said you loved me but then you killed yourself with your own angel blade… Then Gabriel showed up… he was saying the same stuff as when he was telling us about you and how you grew up… He looked really mad at me… He said he couldn’t live if you died and then he killed himself with your blade…”

 

“Oh Dean…” Castiel remorsed, holding the elder Winchester closer and rocking him. “Did anything else happen?”

 

“Your Grace was spilling out…” Dean’s voice cracked as he spoke. “It was just a puddle of silver on the ground… I had tried to ask Gabe why he didn’t save you before he killed himself... ‘cause you’re my angel, my family…”

 

There was silence. Castiel was afraid to interrupt in case there was more. His patience was awarded with the one thing he never thought he’d hear out of the man’s mouth.

 

“You’re… well… you’re my Daddy…” Dean confessed in a whisper, clinging to the angel. “... If you still… still want me… I’ll give it a try...”

 

“Oh, Dean, sweetheart, I’ll always want you!” Castiel promised, kissing the man’s cheek as he held him closer. “I’ve always wanted you ever since you were born! I used to watch over you from the waters of the ocean in Gabriel’s little patch of Heaven... If I had a plucked feather for every Earth second I spent watching you, you could build a world with all of them.”

 

“No! Please, no plucked feathers…” Dean pleaded, looking up at the angel with tearful, vulnerable green eyes.

 

“But what if it’s a special feather that’s already loose?” Castiel questioned, feeling the itch of a primary feather that decided to come out early. 

 

Dean gave him a questioning look as Cas reached out and grabbed at something the hunter couldn’t see. The movements were delicate and gentle, very practiced. After a moment, Cas had something pinched between his fingers. The angel kissed the object and then kissed Dean’s forehead. The hunter gasped as he saw the huge black feather shimmering with other colors from the dawn lighting inching in through the cracks in the hotel curtains. Castiel chuckled at his boy’s reaction to something that seemed to simple to the angel. With a mischievous grin, Cas tickled a spot on his boy’s neck. Dean genuinely giggled and then looked as if he could cry as he saw the feather all crumpled from being smashed between his neck and shoulder.

 

“Sweetie, it’s okay, watch,” Castiel encouraged, gently running his other hand over the feather and returning it to mint condition. “Father made my feathers the strongest, softest feathers in existence. It would take a spell-enhanced fire to destroy my feathers.”

 

“Are you taking the pipsqueak for a bath or what?” Gabriel questioned, trying to tease the two but coming off as pissed.

 

“Sounds like Grandpa Gabe’s grumpy,” Castiel joked, nuzzling his little boy as Dean carefully held the feather. 

 

“Put your wings away, Cassie. You know I don’t like it when you hide behind them.” Gabriel gently chastised, keeping a hold of Sam’s hand as they went over to the younger’s bed.

 

“Yes, Daddy,” Castiel sassed, binding all eight wings and getting to his feet with Dean squeaking in his arms, surprised the angel was able to hold him like a baby.

 

“Excuse you?” Gabriel questioned, giving the younger angel a look of disbelief.

 

Castiel just laughed and walked into the ensuite bathroom. He touched the fingertips of his right hand to the water to warm it to the perfect temperature. He then went through the motions of giving Dean a bath, everything from stripping the boy down to actually starting to wash him. It’s when it came to washing the hunter’s body that the tears started. Castiel had healed the rash that had developed so that wasn’t even a concern. No, it was the feather that Dean was still delicately pinching between the fingers of his right hand that reduced Dean to tears.

 

“No, my feather!” Dean cried as Castiel gently tried to slip the feather out of the boy’s hand. “Daddy, no!”

 

“Sweetheart, I only want to set it on your pajamas until we’re all done. You don’t seem to want to get it wet so the only other option is to set it somewhere.” Castiel patiently reasoned. “You can either let it get wet, which won’t hurt it at all and even if it does look hurt, Daddy can fix it. Or, you can let Daddy set it with your jammies. Either way, the feather’s still yours, honey. Daddy will never take it away.”

 

It took everything in the angel’s being not to freak out with joy and surprise that Dean was letting himself pretend to be a little boy. He also had to fight the laughter. He could remember the first time Gabriel had ever let him groom the older’s wings. At first, the younger angel had cried and cried because he thought he hurt the Archangel and plucked one of the feathers by accident. Gabriel nearly panicked because he thought he had accidentally relaxed to the point that his wings had started burning and hurt his cygnet. He had laughed at Cas when he discovered what was actually wrong. He gently explained to his baby that the feather popped out because it was ready to come out. Cassie stopped crying and soon stared at his caregiver in awe when he was told he could keep the beautiful feather that radiated a comfortable heat. Now, Cas knew how Gabe must’ve felt.

 

“Promise?” Dean sniffled.

 

Gabriel peered into the bathroom, concerned by the tears he heard. He smiled warmly as he saw his baby comforting the human he was so fond of, knowing that he wasn’t the only one having a nostalgic moment. He heard Sam sigh dramatically behind him and decided it was time to focus on his own Winchester. Gabe swooped over to Sam, gently tackling the taller man and tickling him relentlessly.

 

“Is someone getting antsy for Daddy’s attention?” Gabriel wondered aloud, grinning at his squirming boy. “Hm? Does Daddy need to properly dress his baby? And take care of him like the special little baby he is?”

 

“No!” Sam laughed, flailing about as he tried to fight the tickles. “Not a baby!”

 

“I dunno, Sammy, you seem pretty tiny to me…” Gabriel stated, sweeping his boy up into his arms like an infant, surprising the younger Winchester. “Are you Daddy’s baby?”

 

Feeling much smaller and fairly content with it, Sam curled in on himself, tucking his legs closer to his chest and pulling his arms in. He started to suck on his fingers. Since the subject of being a little had been broached, Gabe and Sam had already had a few weekends of age playing together. They experimented with different ages, trying to find the one that Sam seemed to click with the most. Being an infant definitely wasn’t that perfect age, but every once in awhile, Gabe would encourage his boy to just relax and go with it. If the Archangel’s being honest, having Sam regress to an infant is for his own selfish enjoyment. Though, to his credit, he didn’t force Sammy and he certainly didn’t encourage it to be a regular thing. What can he say? He misses his baby Cassie…

 

“Should we get you dressed properly then, hm?” Gabriel cooed, rewarded with a shy smile from his boy.

 

So Gabriel snapped up a diaper bag and began undressing his Sammy. With little effort and much play, he got the youngest Winchester into a diaper and a navy footed sleeper with little black labs printed all over it. Sammy was now chewing on a specially made teether instead of his fingers and Gabe was beaming at his boy. Normally, the Archangel would have made his boy a bottle by hand, but since the kid already looked ready to pass out, he just snapped one up. Taking his baby into his arms, Gabe settled on the bed and fed Sammy a bottle. Unsurpisingly, Sam was nearly passed out by the time that he finished the bottle and was being burped. Gabriel couldn’t have asked for anything better. Okay, that was a lie, he could ask for his Cassie to be a baby again, but he would feel awful about taking the angel from his human and forcing him back into cherub-hood. 

 

“You were such a good boy for Daddy, sweetie,” Castiel cooed as he exited the bathroom with his little, who was carefully clutching the beloved feather, wrapped in a towel. “Now it’s time to get dressed and get some good sleep with Daddy keeping all the bad dreams away.”

 

Dean squirmed, trying to get away. He didn’t want to see or smell the accident he had in bed. Unbeknownst to him, Cas had already cleaned it all up with his Grace so it was like no one had ever even looked at the bed. Sensing that was the source of his boy’s distress, Castiel sat down on the bed and held his boy closer.

 

“Baby, I already cleaned up the bed. It’s like nothing ever happened.” Castiel assured the hunter. “Just look for yourself.”

 

Sure enough, it was exactly as the angel had said. Dean couldn’t tell that he’d wet the bed. There was no stain, no smell, no dampness. He looked shyly up at his Daddy, who set his jammies off to the side. They were not even close to the pajamas that Dean would have chosen for himself. From looking at the tags, Dean could see that they were from some show called “Ever After High” and the design on the footed pajamas was meant to look like the outfit Prince Charming would wear if he were a modern day football jock. Cas had explained the show and Dean was not amused, though he was curious why the angel was watching a show that was clearly made for little girls in elementary and middle school.

 

“Why do you like girly shows?” Dean questioned, as Cas laid him on his back on the bed and finished towel drying him.

 

“Well, I like the messages they send. Monster High teaches that it’s okay to be different. That everyone should just accept each others’ flaws. To quote one of the characters, it’s a place where ‘you can be yourself, freaky flaws and all.’ As for Ever After High, it says in the opening song that your destiny doesn’t have to follow some pre-written script and that you’re more than a label.” Castiel explained, blushing and snapping up an on-the-go bag from the house he set up for Dean. He was ready for any occasion with his little boy- not to mention any headspace.

 

“Dean, don’t make fun of Cassie, it’s rude.” Gabriel scolded, still a little upset with the elder Winchester.

 

“Honestly, Gabe, he already apologized and everything. It’s fine,” Castiel chastised his older brother.

 

“Don’t get snippy with me, Mister. Remember who raised you and had to help you through all your tantrums and power surges.” Gabe reminded him.

 

“I’m sorry, but you and Sam don’t know the full story. You were gone for most of it.” Castiel apologized, still trying to get his point across. “I got myself all worked up because I thought Dean was going to hate me for being a freak.”

 

“Daddy?” Dean tried, wanting to avoid a fight. “I’m cold…”

 

“Oh, sorry, baby!” Castiel cooed, turning his attention back to his boy. “Now, how big are we? Daddy’s ready for anything, sweetheart.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I’ve got underwear and then I’ve got underclothes meant for when you feel smaller.” Castiel hinted, trying to ease in the idea of how young he both expected and desired for Dean.

 

Dean looked over to Gabriel and Sam, realizing his brother was passed out and already participating in the roleplay that Cas was trying to ease him into. He hadn’t seen his baby brother dressed like that and sucking on a soother in thirty plus years. It was kind of endearing in a way, but still really weird to Dean. He then looked to Gabriel who was giving off the vibe of ‘try it or else.’ So Dean choked back all his adult and masculine instincts and tried to let Castiel’s nurturing nature blank out every part of his mature brain that screamed ‘what the fuck.’ He looked up at Cas with an expression that he was sure must have looked like Oliver, the orange tabby kitten from Oliver and Company, when he was sleeping on the streets in the rain. 

 

“What’s the matter, sweetie?” Castiel asked, sounding every bit like a concerned parent of a crying two year old.

 

Once again, Dean smothered everything in him that said he shouldn’t be okay with this- and if he actually secretly wanted it, well no one else had to know- and swallowed hard, probably looking like he was close to crying from an outsider’s perspective. 

 

“Daddy?” Dean whined, making grabby hands at his angel.

 

“I’m right here, baby.” Castiel soothed, taking Dean into his arms.

 

He noted the bright red flush on his baby’s face as his little one buried his blush in the curvature of the angel’s neck. Castiel once again unbound his wings, wrapping them around Dean in a way that still allowed Gabriel to see him but not his baby. He wondered why he kept listening to Gabriel when it came to his wings since he always ended up doing the opposite anyway.

 

“Diaper?” Dean breathed, so quiet he wasn’t sure Cas would hear him.

 

“Sweetheart, you don’t have to if you’re not ready. I want this to be a good thing for you if you decide to do it. If anything’s forced, you’ll just hate it and it won’t help you at all.” Castiel insisted.

 

“Diaper…” Dean sniffled, more upset about repeating himself than the fact that Cas didn’t believe he was willingly (to an extent) participating.

 

“Okay, okay, baby. Diaper it is.” Castiel comforted, laying his boy back down and blocking Gabe’s view of Dean with his wings. “And don’t worry, Mr. Grumpy Grandpa can’t see you because Daddy’s hiding you behind his wings.”

 

Dean internally sighed in relief at that. It was one thing for his loving angel to see him nude and so vulnerable, but for the miffed Archangel to see was a whole other attic full of ghosts. He raised an eyebrow when Cas snapped his fingers and suddenly he was lying on an adult sized ‘Kick’n’play’ mat with a bunch of baby toys hanging above him and a little piano by his feet. Cas smiled warmly and winked at him, probably guessing that the hunter needed a distraction. Dean bit back all his questions and looked at the different plushes and hard toys dangling from the arch. He heard Gabe chuckle and looked up at his Da- Cas with panicked, tearful emerald eyes. He thought his Daddy had blocked the Archangel from seeing him…

 

“Oh, sweetie, Daddy did block his sight. Gabe only knows because he helped me set up your nursery and playroom. We both knew you wouldn’t really feel comfortable with all this at first so we thought I should have some distractions for you.” Castiel explained, setting the diapering supplies to the side while he rubbed his baby’s tummy and carefully let two of his wings ignite to give off some heat to keep the little one warm. “Is that better?”

 

Dean didn’t know what it was, but whatever Cas was doing was working. He nodded dumbly as he kept his eyes on his angel. He didn’t even fight when Cas- his Daddy slipped a pacifier in his mouth. He just started sucking on it as if that’s what he’d always done. When Daddy shook a stuffed kitten above his head, he could tell by the sound of it that it was a rattle. He felt so void of thought, mostly from being so tired, that he went along with it. He reached up himself, and clumsily shook the orange tabby kitten with his left hand. As he explored the other toys on the arch, Cas got him diapered without him even realizing it. Well, not until he startled himself by bumping a key on the plastic piano at his feet. That’s when he looked down and saw the extremely babyish diaper that was expertly taped around his waist. He could tell there was plastic to prevent leaks, but the outside looked to be made of cloth, just like real infant diapers. The print was pale blues and greens in criss-crossing lines with little owls in the same colors perched on a tree branch just below the waistband of the garment. Dean looked up at his Daddy to see how he should feel about this development. He wasn’t shocked to see his angel smiling at him as he lay on his back with his arms and legs spread out just like a real infant would lay. So he took his cue from Castiel and smiled back, not even thinking as he kicked his legs out- forgetting about his barely recovered heel and the hard plastic object at his feet. Being so tired and somewhat uncomfortable with this new situation, how- scarily- it felt so right, Dean started to cry in earnest as a wicked pain coursed through his right heel and calf. 

 

“Oh goodness!” Castiel fawned sympathetically as he extinguished his wings and took his baby in his arms. “Daddy forget about your owie and forgot to take that mean ol’ piano off.”

 

After a good while of crying his feelings out, Dean calmed back down. So Castiel moved the little activity gym from the bed to the floor and got his little dressed. As he got settled into bed with Dean cradled to his chest, he looked over to Gabriel. He was surprised Sam hadn’t woken up when Dean started crying, but seeing the Archangel now, he realized that Sam had been wrapped in the older angel’s wings. If Gabriel so chose, his wings could block out sound as well as sight.  The Archangel watched as Castiel entertained Dean by playing peek-a-boo using his wings instead of his hands- the effect was the same, even if the human couldn’t see the actual appendages. It made Gabe’s Grace ache with Nostalgia. 

 

Back when Castiel’s emotional side was still grappling with object permanence, Gabriel had played the same game with his cygnet using his wings. He would hold a tiny Cassie in his arms and four of his wings and then use the other two to repeatedly hide and unveil his face. Cassie hated it the first couple of times. Being such a sensitive cygnet, it literally scared him. Once he started expecting it, the motions upset him because the next few times, his emotions would tell him that Gabe was leaving each time the angel would hide his face even though the younger angel’s head said that Gabriel couldn’t leave and hold him at the same time. After everything had been reconciled within the cherub, Castiel had a blast. The cygnet would even get this little knowing smile and gently tug on the Archangel’s wing as if to say, ‘you can’t trick me, daddy.’ 

  
Father, how Gabriel missed those days… 


	9. Tragedies to Come

The Moirai of the Greek Myths were in fact three of the first daughters of God. The different mythologies and theologies only coming about  when God tore down the tower of Babel to remind humanity that he put them on Earth for a reason and that the boundaries existed for their safety.  From there, they scattered and created their own languages and ideas of Creation and the forces beyond their control and full comprehension. The Moirai were the most famous at times. The three angels, known to most of the world as Clotho, Lachesis and Atropos, were there to help God keep life on Earth in check. They helped to create the souls and determine their life spans and what happened during. It was safe to say that their least favorite brothers were Gabriel and Castiel- the two who seemed to know and be involved in too many mass murders or near misses depending on the situation. The Fate sisters weren’t stupid and far from oblivious- they knew Castiel was causing the massacres with his Grace fluctuations. While that made it easier to maintain the population as a whole, it ruined lives that were originally destined to continue for years to come. In short, those surges caused a nasty ripple effect each time they happened. Naturally, when Atropos had her latest vision of Dean Winchester, she was pissed to say the least. Lachesis wasn’t thrilled because she was sure she would have to search out the string for the poor soul who lost their future for the sake of Castiel keeping his precious human so her sister could cut it and she could alter it and tie it to Dean’s. Stille, Lachesis was more resigned to the fact and therefore wasn’t bothered by it. Clotho didn’t give a damn because it didn’t affect her whatsoever. Once the thread was spun to match the soul it belonged to, her job and jurisdiction ended.

 

_ Dean lie mangled on a gurney with Sam being held back by the police. The elder Winchester was bleeding profusely from the numerous wounds he sustained- everything from broken and fractured bones to deep stab wounds to multiple bullet holes. Dean was rushed to the Emergency Room of the closest hospital with Sam speeding after the ambulance in the beloved Chevvy Impala with police escorts in front of and behind the classic car.  In Heaven, Gabriel and Castiel were age playing at the Archangel’s home. Castiel suddenly snapped back to his ‘adult’ frame of mind. The two angels swooped down to the hospital. Castiel sat by Dean’s bed while the Winchester was hooked up to life support. The angel was sobbing his heart out as the Archangel took Sam out of the room to console him. Castiel was gently clutching the comatose man’s hand. _

 

_ ‘Don’t do this to me, Baby Bee…’ The angel choked out. ‘I’ve nearly lost you too many times before, this can’t be the end…’ _

 

_ After a while, Castiel had calmed down enough to breathe a little easier. He comforted himself with the thought that Dean had been comatose before and came out of it stronger than before. But it was no use, he knew this time was different somehow. So he did the only thing he knew how to do to comfort Dean and himself. _

 

_ “Symphony of silver tears, Sing to me and sooth the ring in my ears, Overcast these gloomy nights wear on, But I'm holding fast because it's darkest just before the dawn. I sang my prince fast asleep, 'Cause he was my dream come true, Oh Baby Bee, believe me, I loved you. But now those lonely lullabies, Just dampen my tired eyes, Because I can't forget you. Because I can't forget you.” Castiel sang, altering the lyrics to Owl City’s Lonely Lullaby to suit his baby boy. “I'll dissolve when the rain pours in, When the nightmares take me, I will scream with the howling wind, 'Cause it's a bitter world and I'd rather dream. Dizzy love turned a star lily pink, And hung above our lids too flushed to blink, But icy blue froze the fairytale cold, Though I treasured you and you sparkled with someone to hold.” _

 

_ Castiel dissolved into tears again. He startled when Gabriel and Sam came in, each putting a hand on one of Castiel’s shoulders. They each gave a reassuring squeeze and nodded. Both had faces pale with tears and grief. _

 

_ Castiel resumed the song, but this time he had two more to sing with him, “I sang my prince fast asleep, 'Cause he was my dream come true, Oh Baby Bee, believe me, I loved you. But now those lonely lullabies, Just dampen my tired eyes, Because I can't forget you. Because I can't forget you. I'll dissolve when the rain pours in, When the nightmares take me, I will scream with the howling wind, 'Cause it's a bitter world and I'd rather dream. I'll dissolve when the rain pours in, When the nightmares take me, I will scream with the howling wind, 'Cause it's a bitter world and I'd rather dream….” _

 

_ Gabriel and Sam tapered off, giving into tears as they embraced each other. Castiel nearly folded in on himself as a harsh sob ripped from his chest. _

 

_ “And I'd rather dream… Baby Bee, I'll never forget you.” Castiel sobbed, no longer trying to hold a melody. “Baby Bee, I'll never forget you…. Baby Bee, remember me? I'll never forget you….” _

 

_ Castiel gave up on words, too grief stricken as he realized that he couldn’t do anything to save his baby. It was his fault… It was always his fault. _

 

“Atropos, quit pouting. That’s the thousandth time in the last Earth minute that you’ve watched that vision.” Lachesis sighed as she carefully measured the lifespan of the newest human. “Dean was never really ours, just like Castiel. Father made some exceptions to our control and it just so happens they are two of those. Get over it.”

 

“Easy for you to say, Sis.” Atropos grumbled, going about her task of trimming the threads of the souls that were soon bound for Heaven. 

 

“It is easy for me to say because I’ve accepted my limitations- unlike you.” Lachesis shot back, growing more irritated with her sister. “Help me out here, Clotho.”

 

“Nope…” Clotho distantly responded, focused on spinning the perfect thread for the developing soul of a baby in India. “I’m good... and also… occupied…”

  
After a bit more arguing, Lachesis left Atropos to sulk. The youngest sister was dwelling on figuring out what exactly Castiel was going to do to thwart Dean’s death from the vision. How was the angel going to save a vessel that was clearly expired? She was determined not to let her rebellious baby brother and jackass older brother win this battle for Dean Winchester. He’d been through enough and it was time to come home.


	10. Moving Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel and Dean learn a fun fact about what Grace can do while Gabe makes Castiel an offer for their downtime in Heaven

As the boys slept, Gabriel nudged Castiel with his Grace. The younger angel slowly came out of meditation to look at his older brother. When the Archangel had the attention he was looking for, he sheepishly smiled at his boy.

 

“Cassie?” Gabe spoke up.

 

“What, Gabe?” Castiel asked with a reflexive yawn.

 

“I know we never really intended for this to permeate beyond the boys, but…” Gabriel hesitated.

 

“But?” Cas prompted.

 

“But I was thinking, with all this going on and the occasional power surge you’ve been having… Maybe we do some age play, just between the two of us.”

 

“I feel like you have other reasons for this.”

 

“Okay, yeah, fine. I do have another reason. I miss taking care of you, Cassie.” Gabe confessed with an irritated sigh. “Seeing you with Dean and me taking care of Sammy, I keep remembering when you were my baby… I never felt so needed before… and now, you don’t need me. Really neither does Sammy, but he’s smart, he takes the opportunities he’s given.”

 

“Daddy, I’ll always need you.” Castiel assured the Archangel. “It may not always seem like it, but I do and I will. If it weren’t for you, I’d still be crying in my garden in Heaven or sulking. Instead, you made it all better and made it so I could be here when he needed me…”

 

“Well, maybe give it some thought.” Gabe tried, looking hopeful. “If you decide to try it, we can do it whenever the boys go on a couple straightforward hunts.”

 

“Okay, Daddy. I’ll think about it.” Cassie agreed.

 

“On a separate note, what are you going to do if Dean’s in baby space and you have a power surge?” Gabriel gently questioned. “We’ve never been on Earth when it happened and while I believe your love and devotion to Dean is strong enough that whatever happens won’t kill him, you could still hurt him pretty bad.”

 

“To be honest, I hadn’t really thought of that,” Castiel admitted, peeking at his baby sleeping under his wings. “I mean, I have a meeting with a sitter lined up for whenever Dean and I make it to the house. She seems very promising. I suppose if it works out, I would leave him with her.”

 

“Who is she?” Gabriel asked, curious about this girl he was willing to trust Dean with.

 

“Nerina Rees, she is actually a demi-god of Welsh origins. Her mother is Rhiannon, the Goddess who is called upon for the protection of children.” Castiel responded. “She’s been without a child of any sort for so long, mostly because not as many pray to the Welsh deities anymore, that she started to look into modern childcare opportunities. She joked that she was online, made one click on a misleading link and suddenly, she was up to her neck in age players begging for a female caregiver.”

 

“Well, she’s quite the find then…” Gabriel commented, a little uncomfortable that Castiel wouldn’t stick with a better known culture of deities like Greek, Roman or, hell, an Irish or Hindu.

 

“You can’t say anything, Mr. double-life-as-a-Norse-God.” Castiel pointed with a look that said he knew a lot more than Gabriel assumed. “You know what the humans say, assuming makes an ass out of you and me,  _ Loki _ .”

 

“How…?”

 

“Really, Gabriel? It was just a little too convenient that whenever the Norwegians cursed Loki, you were missing. Who else would take pranking to a supernatural level?” Castiel prompted, looking a bit hurt. “I know you had a life and all before I was born, but it hurt when you just left me behind all the time… Between your time on Earth and in Asgard, I was… Father, I never felt so alone…”

 

“Cassie, I’m sorry. I was still young enough and stupid enough at that time that I believed you’d be fine. I knew you were different, but for the longest time I honestly thought you were still like the other cygnets and needed some independence.” Gabriel apologized. “Besides, don’t think I don’t know about your moonlighting as the Green Man. That’s the only reason you know Welsh theology so well.” 

 

“Okay, okay, we both did a little moonlighting.” Castiel chuckled, suddenly ruffling his feathers and leaving them puffed out as he straightened his posture and stared at Gabriel in disbelief.

 

“Cassie, baby, are you okay?” Gabriel pressed, wondering if he needed set Sammy down and go to his cherub.

 

“I’m… more than fine?” Castiel stated as more of a confused question than an answer. “I… I think I’m being pet? But there’s another sensation as well…”

 

Castiel slowly started pulling his wings away, with the delicacy of a florist peeling back rose petals to be spread on the aisle during a wedding. When he began to fold his seventh wing back, the angel saw that Dean was awake with a distinctively infantile glimmer to his emerald eyes. The primary feather Castiel had given the baby earlier was soaked and the little one had commandeered another into his mouth that was currently being sucked as Dean pet the silky black wings.

 

“Daddy, what does it mean when a human consumes Grace?” Castiel pondered aloud, trying to sound casual to hide his panic.

All Castiel heard was laughter from the Archangel. He was tempted to glare at the older angel, but he was enraptured by the innocent, adoring look Dean was giving him. This must’ve been what Gabriel felt while taking care of him all those millennia ago. Castiel fixed up Dean’s feather and set it aside for when Dean was a big boy again. He didn’t quite have the heart to make Dean stop nursing his feather, which the angel could feel was delivering Grace to his boy.

 

“Oh, sweet pea. It’s actually a good thing. Most humans that are bonded to an angel, typically a Guardian Angel, have a tolerance to raw Grace and are regressed by it.” Gabriel explained, having already thought ahead. He had talked to some of his siblings that were Guardian Angels and asked if any of them ever did age play- many of them said yes, that they used it as a therapy exercise, and were quick to assure the archangel that raw Grace would not harm the bonded human, but it would make them feel very young and very helpless. “Though, you should probably explain to Dean-o when he grows up again about what happens when he nurses from angel feathers. My guess is he woke up and couldn’t find his paci so he shoved the first thing he found into his mouth. That thing just so happened to be a molted feather that still had Grace in the Calamus and Rachis.”

 

“But why doesn’t it, you know, change him?” Cas questioned, finally pulling his gaze away from his baby.

 

“I’m not entirely sure, but our brothers and sisters in the Guardian tier had a pretty good explanation. They said that, as far as they know, the method of the intake is what makes the difference, though they’re not sure what would be required to make him a nephilim. They do know that if he nurses, the way the Grace is processed works the same way that an antidepressant or a focus pill would on a human. They consume it, it gets dissolved in the stomach and modifies the behavior based on the intent of the thing consumed. An antidepressant would help endorphin levels for example. With Grace, they said it tends to make them feel and act much younger. How much younger depends on the amount of Grace consumed. I’d say that between the two feathers he’s nursed, that it was enough to regress him close to infancy.”

 

“Oh, I think you’re right then, it is a very good thing.” Castiel agreed, tickling his baby’s tummy.

 

Dean giggled, even his voice sounded more childish, and spat out the feather. Cas retrieved the pacifier and slipped it into his little’s mouth. He tucked his wings back and adjusted his hold on Dean.

 

“Aren’t you just the cutest?” Castiel cooed, rocking Dean in his arms.

 

Dean smiled behind the comfort object as he sucked on it. Then, the baby started to tense. At first, Castiel wasn’t concerned, thinking the effects had worn off. After a minute or two he was surprised by the sound that his baby made. He looked over at Gabriel for an explanation. One of them had never cared for a baby. After all, Father was much more careful about the cygnets of future generations, none of which strayed from the basic design unlike Castiel. Alas, Gabriel initially was useless- he was too busy laughing up a storm. In fact, he laughed so hard that he actually snorted.

 

“Oh sweet pea, you’re adorable.” Gabe breathed. “He has gas. You do know what it means when a baby has gas, don’t you?”

 

“No, Daddy, obviously I don’t.” Castiel sighed, getting a bit frustrated.

 

“Honey, he’s about to his diaper in the most gag-inducing way.” the Archangel elaborated.

 

Cas was still unsure until he felt something move around the rear of the diaper, which didn’t make any sense at first. But then Dean grunted- quite adorably in Castiel’s opinion- and the diaper grew warm and more malleable than before. As the seat of the diaper continued to shift and stretch, it finally dawned on Cas that the baby needed to poop. That’s when Gabriel broke into another fit of laughter at the look of complete surprise and uncertainty on the younger angel’s face.

 

“This is better than any prank I could pull on you.” Gabriel laughed, feeling bad for Sammy as his baby woke up crying. “Oh, Sammy, Daddy’s sorry, but you should see Uncle Cas’ face.”

 

After soothing the younger Winchester, Gabriel sat the boy up in his lap to see the entertaining spectacle that was Castiel trying to reconcile his mixed feelings on the matter at hand. Sammy started to giggle at the other angel as he snuggled into his. He hadn’t nursed from Gabriel and he wasn’t planning to anytime soon. Sammy had no trouble getting into little space, unlike Dean. Once Daddy said or did certain things, Sam slid right into headspace and stayed there as long as he was dressed for the part. Soon enough, Dean started to cry, unhappy with his diaper situation. That got the younger angel moving. He held his baby as he got up from the bed, set the play mat and arch on the bed, and tucked his baby underneath the hanging toys. Castiel quickly got to work on changing his boy and was quite relieved when Dean calmed down after the soiled garment was removed and the baby’s rear and privates were all cleaned up. His boy was down to sniffles and hiccups as he reached up batted at some of the toys in jerky movements with his balled up fists. Before diapering his clean baby, the angel had the foresight to remove the piano that Dean had agitated his sore heel on. With that done, Castiel finished his task and peered at the clock on the nightstand. It read the time to be noon.

 

“We should get them packed up and into the car. We’ve still got a bit of a drive ahead of us to get to the houses.” Castiel informed his brother. “Besides, it’s already noon and checkout is at two.”

 

“Well, first we have to get them ready to leave the room and I’m going to have to muster up a mirage.” Gabriel added, getting up and hefting his little boy onto his hip.

 

“A mirage?” 

 

“You think we won’t get looks when we leave the hotel with two adults dressed and acting like infants?” 

 

“Fair point. I’m sure they’d double team us and find a way to get revenge if we didn’t disguise them.” Castiel submitted, dressing Dean in a Nirvana logoed black onesie and navy sweatpants. “There we go, sweetheart! Don’t you look handsome?”

Dean cooed and reached for Castiel with one hand shoving his fingers into his mouth. The angel picked his boy up and turned to his brother, closing his eyes and letting out a dramatic sigh as he saw the Archangel with two strollers. One was more of a buggy and meant for an infant while the other was meant for toddler. Castiel could get which one was for Dean.

 

“Alright, sweetie, let’s get you tucked into your stroller and then Daddy will pack everything up.” Castiel fawned, laying his baby in the buggy and fastening the straps. “All set! Now, I’ll just-”

 

“No need, baby.” Gabriel interrupted, gesturing to the plushes and bags already packed and piled onto a luggage cart. “And Sammy’s all set to go.”

 

Sure enough, looking over everything, Castiel saw that Gabe’s Grace had been thorough and Sammy was even dressed in an Iron Man tee and elastic waisted shorts. Gabriel had even tucked the boy into the stroller with a teething toy. The angel remembered at that moment what he did forget and snapped up the toy arch, fastening it on the stroller. 

 

“Now we’re ready, except…” Castiel hesitated. “What about the mirage? Should we blind the cameras and fake the footage or is there an easier way to do this?”

 

“Oh, Cassie, you overthink everything.” Gabe teased, pushing Sammy’s stroller and pulling the luggage along behind him. “I already altered the footage from last night to show us with the strollers arriving like four hours before Dean and Sam supposedly said goodbye from the room and took off. The mirage is much simpler. When people see Dean or Sam, they’ll see them as the ages their acting. Sam will be seen as two and Dean will look about a year old to passerbys.”

 

“Alright, Gabe, I trust you.” Castiel consented, following his brother out of the room and into the elevator while pushing Dean’s stroller. “Are you doing alright in there, little one?”

 

Dean started fussing with his fingers in his mouth. He was only getting more frustrated as his Daddy kept pulling them out. Since he wasn’t offered an alternative, he kept trying for his fingers. 

 

“No, no sweetheart,” Castiel cooed, reaching into Dean’s diaper bag to pull out a pacifier. “Here, honey, use your paci.”

 

Castiel blushed as he heard a quiet chorus of appreciation when the elevator doors opened. As he looked up and peered about the lobby, he saw signs for an expecting couples’ retreat.  Dean had taken the pacifier and got into a rhythm as he watched the world above him. As more and more people could be seen the further they went through the lobby, Dean grew more uncomfortable. Part of his adult brain was chirping about finding a way to hide. So the Grace-nurtured infantile side did what it knew how to do. Soon, Dean was crying hard and Castiel felt his Grace ache for his baby. He hadn’t wanted to take Dean from the stroller in case the mirage was tied solely to the object itself, but as he glanced Gabriel holding Sam and Eve fawning over the younger Winchester at the service desk, he got his the answer he wanted. He quickly unbuckled Dean from the buggy and held him to his chest like any parent would hold their infant.

 

“I know, I know, we didn’t get enough sleep yet, did we?” Castiel sympathized in that doting sort of tone reserved for infants. “It’s okay though. Daddy’s gonna sit with you in the back seat and sing lullabies until my busy little bee tires out.”

 

“You’re so good with him,” A quiet, motherly voice chimed in.

 

Castiel turned to look at her, swaying his baby all the while. She was maybe five feet tall, very petite and fair skinned with her strawberry blonde hair in a pixie cut with a wide shimmery silver fabric headband in her hair. She wore a pale pink maternity top with gray leggings and orthopedic flats. The bump on her abdomen looked almost as big as her whole torso.

 

“Thank you, but really he’s practically a little angel,” Castiel qualified, kissing Dean’s cheek and earning a happy giggle from his calm baby. “Isn’t that right, Honey Bee?”

 

Dean cooed and nuzzled his Daddy. In the background of Dean’s Grace-soothed mind, his adult mind was spectating the whole thing. It was obvious that no one could tell he was actually an adult acting like a baby, which was a huge relief. The thing that both made sense and bothered the hunter was that he was enjoying this. It was like he was on auto-pilot and didn’t have to worry about a thing. The Grace helped him de-stress and brought back memories and reflexes scientists were sure hadn’t been stored in the brain for lack of need so he didn’t have to think about what an infant would do or be like and try to act that out. It was scary how much he liked something so wrong…

 

“My name’s Sable.” She introduced herself. “First time parent. It looks you might be a bit more experienced.”

 

Castiel followed her gaze and chuckled. Gabriel was ‘tossing’ Sammy up into the air and catching him. The younger hunter getting a huge kick out of the simple action. Sammy was truly an amazing little, but Castiel still preferred his Busy Baby Bee. 

 

“That’s actually my Dad and his little boy. We adopted these two, who happened to be brothers.” Castiel explained. “My name’s Castiel, by the way. A pleasure to have met you.”

 

“Same, maybe we’ll meet again sometime and you can teach me a thing or two.” Sable responded with a sweet smile. “Bye little Bee!”

 

Dean cooed and hid his face from Sable as his Daddy said, “I’m sure we’ll meet again. You should probably catch up with your husband and the group.” 

 

“Oh, um…” Sable’s smile all but dissolved. “I’m on my own… I don’t have a husband and the father stuck around long enough to find out I was pregnant and took off… Guess he had other plans.”

 

“I’ll definitely keep in touch then. I don’t know what I’d have done without my Dad. It’s hard enough to figure everything out even with his help, I can’t imagine not having anyone.” Castiel amended. “Is your phone easy to access?”

“Yes,” Sable answered, surprised that a stranger wanted to help her. 

 

“May I put my number in it?” 

 

“Of course!” She agreed, pulling the smart phone from her floral Faded Glory purse and handing it to the angel.

 

Castiel deftly added his contact information one-handed and gave her phone back. Just then, Gabriel came over with a smiling Sammy, who waved shyly at Sable from his Daddy’s arms.

 

“Are you done flirting, Cassie?” Gabriel teased, earning a very unamused glare. “I’ve already packed up Sammy’s stroller, all the bags, and their favorite stuffies are waiting in their car seats. We’re just missing the tortoise and his mini-me.”

 

“Slow and steady wins the race, remember Dad?” Castiel flatly responded as Sable giggled at them.

 

“Baby, my point is it’s time to get these little guys back home. We have to get to your house and then I still have to drive back to mine with this squirmy wormy.” Gabriel reminded the younger angel, tickling his little boy for emphasis.

 

“Alright. Just let me say goodbye to Sable first.” Castiel agreed, turning back to the single mom-to-be. “I look forward to video chatting with you soon. Let me know if you need anything, and I mean anything.”

 

“Thank you, Castiel. I’m excited to get to know you and your family.” Sable replied, waving at the little ones. “Talk to you soon!”

 

“Say bye-bye, Ms. Sable!” Castiel cooed, rewarded with his baby peeking shyly out at the young woman and waving for a split second before going back into hiding.

  
They all laughed and went their separate ways. Gabriel had Graced up the car so the backseat was big enough to hold two adult sized, rear-facing safety seats while leaving enough room for Castiel to sit comfortably between the two. After getting everyone strapped in, Gabriel started the Impala and took off for the stunning mountains of North Carolina where the two angels owned practically an entire mountain to themselves.


	11. Coming Home

The drive to their miniature mountain on the outskirts of Biltmore Forest, one of the most expensive and quaint suburbs of Asheville, North Carolina was very quiet for the first half. With both boys still being overtired from Dean’s meltdown from the night before and their little mindsets, Dean and Sam were fast asleep after only an hour on the road. It was after their first stop for gas that the meltdowns started. Neither of the boys had eaten since nearly seven in the morning and both were unhappy with their constraining safety seats. Dean was the first to awaken being the younger minded of the two. He stared up at the rear window for a moment for turning his head to search for his Daddy, who smiled warmly at the infantile boy.

 

“Good morning, Honey Bee!” Castiel fawned over his boy, reinserting his baby’s pacifier. “Did you have a nice nap?”

 

Dean cooed at his Daddy, still sleepy and pliable. He stretched clumsily in his seat, accidentally hitting one of the toys hanging from a detachable arch.

 

“Is someone awake back there?” Gabriel asked, glancing in the rearview mirror.

 

“Yes, my little honey bee just woke up.” Castiel answered, tickling his little boy to hear his musical little giggle. “Sammy’s still asleep for now.”

 

“Alright, let me know when he’s up. We still have quite a ways to go but if they’re both up, we should at least take a stretch break.” Gabriel replied. “I have a feeling that they won’t care for being strapped to one place for very long.”

 

For the next two hours or so, Castiel entered his baby with the cat plush from the carnival that the hunter had named Cassie. But that only lasted so long for a little one with a short attention span and growling tummy. Slowly, the baby spiraled from fussing to downright sobbing. At that point, it was impossible for Sammy to sleep any longer. When the ‘older’ little awoke, he dissolved into tears almost instantaneously.

 

“Hey, Sammy, baby boy, you’re alright.” Gabriel soothed from the driver’s seat, hating that his little boy was so distressed. “Daddy’s gonna pull over soon and get you boys fed.”

 

“Soon would certainly be good,” Castiel agreed, trying to coax the pacifier into Dean’s mouth and simultaneously give Sam his teether.

 

It was an excruciating hour before they saw the signs for the next town. Gabriel quickly took the exit and pulled into a Target parking lot. He ran into the store and bought a few things they would need and used his Grace to modify them. They would need the supplies eventually anyway so it was better to just buy them than keep snapping things into existence. He had picked up a pack of pediasures, bottles, bibs, burp cloths, and even a couple security blankets for the boys. Sammy’s blanket was a baby blue and Beauty and the Beast themed with images of Belle and the Beast reading together with books littering the fabric. Dean’s was lilac and Aristocats themed with all the different feline characters in varying poses across the plush material. By the time he had everything just so,  Castiel was waiting for him in the cafe with the mirage doing double time as the young angel held his baby in his arms and was pushing Sammy’s stroller back and forth. 

 

“Hold on, to me as we go As we roll down this unfamiliar road And although this wave is stringing us along Just know you're not alone Cause I'm going to make this place your home. Settle down, it'll all be clear Don't pay no mind to the demons They fill you with fear The trouble it might drag you down If you get lost, you can always be found Just know you're not alone Cause I'm going to make this place your home. Settle down, it'll all be clear Don't pay no mind to the demons They fill you with fear The trouble it might drag you down If you get lost, you can always be found Just know you're not alone Cause I'm going to make this place your home,” Castiel sang Phillip Phillip’s “Home,” looking exhausted and heartbroken. “Settle down, it'll all be clear Don't pay no mind to the demons They fill you with fear. The trouble it might drag you down If you get lost, you can always be found Just know you're not alone Cause I'm going to make this place your home.”

 

“Hey, chickadee.” Gabriel greeted, unpacking the items he picked up. “Sorry it took so long, I stopped in the restroom to disinfect the bottles.”

 

“It’s alright. I just want to get them fed,” Castiel responded tiredly. “What’s the plan?”

 

“Well, there’s the nutrition shakes and I picked up bottles,” Gabriel answered, pulling the items out. “Did you want Dean to nurse?”

 

“I don’t know,” Castiel admitted. “How long do the effects last?”

 

“About two to three days from what I understand. The more he nurses at this point, the longer he stays that way.”

 

“I’ll wait to have him nurse again. I’d like to chat with Dean before then so this needs to wear off first.” Castiel decided, taking the offered bottle.

 

With that mystery concluded, the two angels fed and burped their little ones. Afterwards, they were much happier and much more pliable. The angels got them back into their safety seats in the car and took off once more. It was around four in the morning the next day that they arrived at Castiel’s home halfway up the mountain that was more like a really tall hill since the slopes were much gentler than the unforgiving, jagged rock formations that made up the ranges.

 

The house itself was a spectacle to behold from the outside, but the inside is what really impressed. Castiel unbuckled his baby while his Daddy grabbed Sammy and got ready to take off.  There were about 4 levels total to the manor-esque home and Castiel decided to start from the most stunning part and work his way down. The attic was actually one huge sun room. It had a hot tub (though the temperature could be adjusted to accommodate baby boys), a luxurious adult sized playpen, plenty of cozy and plush seating, the nicest hardwood flooring, the most expensive and velvety rugs, and a view with it’s two expansive glass walls that couldn’t be beat. Then there was the second floor. There were about four bedrooms total. The nursery and playroom were linked together by a full bath. Then there was Dean’s room for when he wasn’t little and Castiel’s bedroom with an ensuite bathroom. On the same floor, there was a miniature living room space. It had a 30” flat screen, cushy seating, a super soft rug, and a quaint little fire place that was surrounded by shelving with books and movies galore. 

 

Then there was the main floor with its open concept everything- except for the guest room and bathrooms, of course. It had a four car garage with two cars already occupying it. There was a huge kitchen with black granite countertops and cherrywood cabinets, a large dining space with an opulent cherrywood dining set that included a table, a dozen chairs, and matching china hutch all strategically located along the glass panelled wall next to the kitchen that led to patio with an attached sunroom, and the biggest living room possible with more stress melting plush furniture, the biggest custom made plush rug that was made to look like the night sky, another deluxe playpen made to accommodate an adult occupant and a 50” flat screen tv hooked up to a home theater system and was mounted above a grand fireplace . There was also a guest room with it’s own ensuite bathroom and a separate bathroom so it wouldn’t be necessary to invade the bedroom. Finally, there was the finished basement. It had two more bedrooms, a bathroom, a large room full of thoroughly organized storage, and a huge family room. The family room was much like the living room upstairs, though everything was done bigger and better (at Gabriel’s suggestion, of course). The flat screen was a 3D capable whopping 70” monster of a tv and this home theater system had immersive surround sound. Additionally, the lights were mounted on the walls and the ceiling, each set being controlled by a different dimming switch. There was also plenty of baby stuff ranging from toys to blankets to a portable changing station. All in all, it was built to be whatever the angel and the hunter needed it to be. Castiel only hoped that one day, the house would be seen as Dean’s safe haven and favorite place in the world.

 

Castiel chuckled as he noticed his baby was passed out from the trip and the tour. Apparently having a mellow angel telling him random details about all of the house was a recipe for sleep. He took his baby to the nursery. It was quite the sight to behold. The walls were painted sea grass green, the ceiling was painted with a glow in the dark mural of the Northern Lights, and the ultra plush carpet was a nice sandy color with a rug that was woven with the map of the Hundred Acre Woods from the Winnie the Pooh series. In fact, everything in the nursery was Winnie the Pooh themed. Even the furniture was custom made with carvings of either the characters or the scenes from the stories. His baby was so spoiled that he had super soft plushes of every character made that came straight from the Disney store. Castiel flipped the light on as he entered and went to the changing table. He made quick work of changing Dean’s diaper and slipping him into a plain baby blue sleeper. The poor baby was so tired that he didn’t even flinch through all of it. Soon enough, the baby was changed and tucked into bed with his new blanket, Cassie the kitten, and his paci. 

 

“Goodnight my Honey Bee.” Castiel whispered, kissing his baby’s forehead.

With that, he turned on the shadowbox nightlight that showed the characters crossing a small bridge that went over a tiny stream in the forest, switched on the baby monitor, and shut off the overhead light. Realistically, Castiel could have just dimmed the lights to their lowest setting and it would have been like a nightlight, but he thought he’d be a bit more ‘old-fashioned’ in this case. He shut the door most of the way and went to unpack everything they’d brought home. He wanted everything to be perfect for his baby’s first day home.


	12. First Day Nightmares

That night, Dean slept uneasily. In the back of his mind, he knew that wherever he was sleeping at the time had a bunch of new and weird smells. Something was definitely off about his surroundings but being asleep kept him from identifying the problem. As his Rapid Eye Movement cycle started, his nightmare began. There were strange people all around him, pinching him and hurting him. Then he was smothered by them pressing in on him. Some lady with short strawberry blonde hair and a distended belly was walking off with his Castiel, his angel, his Daddy… She was smirking cruelly at Dean. 

 

_ He never wanted you… never loved you… He wanted a real baby. He has that thanks to me.  _ She called back.

 

Dean tried to respond, to tell her that she was a know-nothing, home-wrecking slut, but nothing came out. It was like his voice was was paralyzed, though by what, he had no clue. Then, he was back in hell with Azazel and strapped to a wooden gurney. It was the same torture routine. Different loved ones- Ellen, Jo, Bobby, Sam, John, even Mary- numbly taking the weapons of choice and tearing Dean apart as Azazel whispered menacingly in their ears, caressing them as he spoke while keeping his delighted eyes aimed at Dean’s torment. This time was a little different though. Azazel told him the best was saved for last. Sure enough, Castiel was the last to take the most painful weapon of them all- Dean’s precious M1911A1 with its beautiful engravings. His Angel was trashed and so was the hunter’s gun. Those once stunning and comforting black Aurora wings were nearly bare as they bled Grace everywhere. Castiel’s body was badly mangled as well, looking like he just stepped out of ‘The Passion of the Christ.’ Dean’s gun was cracked, scratched, and in dire need of a polish as a bit of raw Grace dripped on the grip and melted a chunk off. Castiel cocked the pistol, took aim, and shot Dean right in the heart.

 

The hunter jolted awake. He found himself gagging on an object that apparently had been lodged in his mouth. He felt so very small and he hated it. As he shoved himself upright, his hazy brain started to piece together his surroundings the way he’d done a million times growing up. As he scanned the room, he realized he was in a nursery that was clearly made for someone his size. Everything was in calm neutral colors- except for the ceiling which, pleasantly, looked to have the cosmos featuring the Northern Lights vomited on it- and Dean hated to admit that there was something very calming about the general setting. As he took in all the detailed handiwork that went into it, he started to narrow down to his immediate, within an arm’s reach, surroundings. He was in a crib. Well, fuck. That was going to be annoying to climb out of. It was fairly spacious for an infant’s bed, with enough room to starfish and still not have to touch the bars or the huggable plushes that lined the inner crib skirt. That was another thing- the theme was A.A. Milne’s Winnie the Pooh. He supposed Cas could’ve done worse since the angel’s personal favorites were shows aimed at little girls. The bedding was so soft and lightweight, but still warm and had enough weight to feel like a comforting embrace. Almost like Daddy’s wings… Wait…

 

What?! 

 

First off, since when did Castiel become ‘Daddy?’ Secondly, wings?! When and how had he seen the angel’s wings without going blind? Dean paused for a moment longer. The better question was why his angel suddenly had eight wings when Cas had always shown a shadow of only two prior to the amazing and baffling experience of seeing those gorgeous and literally animated wings. How the hell did the stars and Aurora Borealis move on those giant feathery appendages? He shook his head, making a mental note to ask Castiel about his wings later. 

 

He had to finish his mental check of his current predicament. Finally, he focused in on himself. Okay, so he was wearing super pale blue footie pajamas that were made of fleece or some other soft material. When did his underwear get so… Wait… That wasn’t underwear was it… Fuck. It all came back to him. Castiel had bathed him and he had played along, surprised at how natural it felt to just be a small child. Then, the angel had asked about getting him dressed. Dean had agreed to a diaper-  _ not _ because he  _ wanted  _ to wear the super soft and comforting garment but because it would save him the embarrassment of pissing all over Cas if something happened- like the angel spooning him and him not being able to get out of that death grip to go to the restroom.  The worst part of all was the discovery that he had  _ used _ the damn thing on top of everything, but he supposed Castiel probably wouldn’t have put the garment on him without intending him to use it too- not that the fact made it any better. There was a discarded pacifier in his lap, his stuffed cat (which he vaguely recalled naming Cassie at one point) was beside him and he was clutching a lilac Aristocats blanket in one hand. 

 

Dean quickly dropped the blanket as if it had been burning him and tried to get to his knees, which was much more difficult than he’d anticipated. The mattress was meant to be super plush and comforting, but it was more frustrating than anything. Once he got to his knees, it took him a minute to figure out how to get out from there. He knew from taking care of Sammy that a crib wasn’t going to open from anywhere but the outside so his only option was to climb over it. But again, this crib was meant for an adult. Dean swallowed his pride and grabbed onto the bars of the crib. He pulled himself up, practically hugging the railing along the top, and took a breath. He was having a hard time standing properly between his slightly bowed legs- which they never spoke about- and the heavily padded (and used) diaper between his legs. Dean braced himself against the railing with his arms, pulling himself up further, swung left leg up, and promptly stopped as his right foot slipped and went between the bars of the crib. 

 

“SON OF A BITCH!” Dean shouted, tears already pouring from his eyes without his permission.

 

The overhead light suddenly came on and Dean cracked his eyes open to find Castiel rushing in, looking alarmingly close to tears himself. Dean must’ve been quite the sight. He had one leg awkwardly hooked on the top railing on level with his arms and upper torso while his right ankle was twisted in the crib bars. Castiel took a deep breath and regarded his little hunter.

 

“Dean, I would’ve happily come let you out to shower and change if you would have shouted.” Castiel informed him, urging the man to unhook his foot from the railing. “Put that foot down, sweetie. Then lower yourself onto your bottom.”

 

Dean did as told, blushing furiously and feeling awful for making Cas look so heartbroken. Once on his bottom, he pulled his foot from between the bars and winced. His angel quickly unlocked the side of the crib, which slid down aways and then tucked under the crib itself. He sat down next to Dean and ran his hand through the hunter’s hair.

 

“Why didn’t you just call for me?” Castiel asked, still confused by the man’s actions.

 

“I don’t know… My first thought was getting out, not how or whether you’d let me out…” Dean admitted, embarrassingly close to tears.

 

“Well, in the future, assuming we keep doing this, just yell for me and I’ll let you out.” Castiel insisted, putting an arm around his boy. “I didn’t think you would come back so soon otherwise I would’ve just kept you near me until you woke up.” 

 

“Back? Did I go somewhere?” 

 

“Technically, yes. You ended up sucking on the feather I gave you after you fell asleep at the hotel. My feathers contain Grace just like the rest of my body and Gabriel had explained that if a human consumes- as in eats or drinks- the Grace of an angel they are bonded to in some way, it causes that human to regress. How far depends on how much you consume and typically the regression lasts for two or three days. Seeing as how this would have only been the start of day two for you, I had thought it better to tuck you into your crib.” Castiel explained, rubbing Dean’s back.

 

“I honestly don’t remember much from the last day or so…” Dean confessed, grimacing as a particularly painful throbbing went through his ankle.

 

“We’ll talk about that later. For now, I would like to tend to your ankle.” Castiel responded, barely touching a hand to the twisted ankle in question. 

 

Even with the ghost of a touch from the angel, it hurt like hell and Dean was mortified as he downright wailed upon the gentle touch of Cas’ fingers to his joint. Castiel took it very well, cradling Dean in his arms like an infant and gently rocking him. This did help to soothe the hunter’s upset to an extent, but he continued to cry. The Grace was still in his system and as long as it was there, he’d still have the emotional capacity of a baby. The way it seemed to wear off started with his mind becoming clearer, then his coordination came back, and finally his emotional state and bladder control were returned.

 

“Daddy, it hurts!” Dean sobbed, curling into his angel, who held him even closer.

 

“I know, Honey Bee,” Castiel cooed. “Just bear with Daddy and it will all be better.”

 

Oh God, Dean remembered that statement. The only difference was who originally said it- one John Winchester. The memory came flooding back. It happened before John had fully expected his oldest son to act like an adult and pull his weight. Dean was maybe five years old. Sammy was asleep in his safety seat in the locked Impala when John took the older boy just inside the woods to take a quick bathroom break. Dean had said he couldn’t hold it until the next rest stop and John had stopped buying pull-ups for the boy since they needed diapers for Sammy more. John had to ration their money because he’d already taken the insurance (the company assumed a gas leak in combination with something being plugged in too long in the nursery) and all they had in every bank account. There was a portion for gas, one for food, another for motel rooms, and the rest was spent on diapers and eventually pull-ups for Sammy. As they were walking a little ways into the woods, there was something there. They later discovered that a hunter had been chasing a wounded and pissed of Wendigo through those very woods. At the time, they’d had no idea what they heard so they just tried to hurry. In their rush, they overlooked one of the bear traps meant for the Wendigo. Thankfully, there had be a storm a few days ago that had taken some of the limbs of the trees and had also gotten caught in the trap the nearly decimated Dean’s ankle. 

 

_ “Daddy!” Dean sobbed, sitting on the ground in thoroughly soaked pants with his mangled ankle being gingerly pulled from the trap. “It hurts! Hurts so bad!” _

 

_ “I know. I know, buddy.” John soothed, trying to remain as calm as possible. “Just bear with me and it will all be better.” _

 

_ “That’s not funny, Daddy!” Dean had nearly screeched, not in the mood for his dad’s bad joke. _

 

_ “I’m sorry, Dean.” John apologized, hefting the boy into his arms and running like mad back to the Impala. _

 

They had gone to the nearest town and settled in at a motel late that night. After Dean’s ankle had healed, John had turned on his son and said it was time for the boy to grow the fuck up and start doing something for once. The man had been on the phone most of the day leading up to that. The yellow-eyed demon he had been hunting had already disappeared from the last known sighting and there was a new pressing hunt that was back in the direction they just came from. It was safe to say that Dean hadn’t acted like a child since that day, despite the fact that the ankle still bothered him from time to time since it had shattered a couple of the bones and there was a piece that sometimes moved when it shouldn’t. To this day, the hunter still has problems with his right ankle on occasion.

 

“Dean, baby, what’s wrong?” Castiel questioned, perturbed by the sudden silence and the blank look in the man’s eyes. “Is something else bothering you?”

 

Castiel didn’t get a response at all. Even after a solid twenty minutes of patient waiting, his boy was still stuck in a daze. The angel was worried what had Dean so wrapped up in his own head but dared not use his Grace to invade in case it only made things worse. He had done music therapy with Dean a few times in the past- urging Dean to try and express how he felt and what he thought through the songs he knew or to find ones he didn’t that best fit. He supposed that this would be a good time to try that again since it had worked in the past.

 

“ When you're weary, feeling small, When tears are in your eyes I will dry them all I'm on your side. When times get rough And friends just can't be found Like a bridge over troubled water I will lay me down, Like a bridge over troubled water I will lay me down,” Castiel softly sang Simon and Garfunkel’s “Bridge Over Troubled Waters,” nuzzling the crown of Dean’s head. “ When you're down and out, When you're on the street, When evening falls so hard I will comfort you I'll take your part When darkness comes And pain is all around Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down. Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down. Sail on, silvergirl, Sail on by. Your time has come to shine. All your dreams are on their way See how they shine. If you need a friend, I'm sailing right behind Like a bridge over troubled water I will ease your mind. Like a bridge over troubled water I will ease your mind…”

 

“Cas?” Dean muttered, starting to pull out of his spiral of dark memories. “Cas?!”

 

“Hey, shhh, Dean,” Castiel soothed. “I’m right here.”

 

The angel felt his hunter take a deep breath and melt into him. He let them stay like that for another twenty minutes before he shifted Dean away from him. It took everything in the angel not to chuckle at the adorable look of dejection that was on the elder Winchester’s face.

 

“I think it’s time to get you out of that diaper.” Castiel stated, amused by the blush that lit up Dean’s face.

 

“Yeah…” Dean agreed.

 

“Would you like help or do you just want to go shower in my bathroom?” Cas offered, hoping for the former since he wasn’t sure about how much longer the Grace would stick around and whether Dean was still muddled by his flashback.

 

“Um… both?” Dean answered uncertainly, his head feeling fuzzy and out of sorts.

 

“Would you like me to help you get out of your little stuff and into the shower?” Castiel tried, hoping to help his boy through this confusing point. 

 

“Yeah…” Dean agreed, not really wanting to move yet.

 

“Well, let’s get to it. Maybe afterwards you and I can watch a movie or something together.” Castiel encouraged, getting to his feet with Dean on his hip.

 

He made quick work of getting Dean onto the changing pad and stripping the man down. Before Dean could really process it, he was in Castiel’s bare bathroom and seated on the bath mat while sucking his thumb- which he hadn’t realized until Cas swapped his thumb for a pacifier. The hunter was so confused and out of it that he couldn’t bring himself to protest as he looked up at the angel like a cat that had been bathed in acid and didn’t know what to think of humans anymore. He swore he saw Castiel’s heart break as the angel helped him into the shower. After about ten minutes of just standing under the water and sucking on the soother, he found Castiel joining him in his swim trunks- probably so Dean wouldn’t get the wrong idea. The rest was a bit of a blur but the older Winchester knew that Castiel had bathed him, put him in a diaper and his normal clothes (he had said something about not wanting him to feel bad in case the Grace was still affecting his bladder), and then they were cuddled on the couch watching The Simpsons while Dean still sucked on the same soother and Castiel patted his diapered bum, which was surprisingly soothing.

  
This was going to be a long ass trial period if day one was any indication of things to come...


	13. Liar, Liar, Hearts on Fire

Dean was half-asleep watching Bob’s Burgers reruns while Castiel was in the kitchen making a lunch of macaroni and cheese, chicken nuggets, and raw carrot chips when the doorbell rang and a couple knocks followed. Dean wasn’t worried at first, figuring Gabriel and Sam were stopping by- Cas had already explained that Gabe had his own crazy huge house further up the gradual mountain. His worry was soon ignited when Castiel jogged to the door, opened it up, and a female voice sounded through the house. He quickly spit out the soother, which landed on the floor, and sat himself up while making sure the galaxy print blanket was thoroughly covering his lower half. He stared at the TV, pretending to be interested in seeing what Tina, Gene, and Louise were going to do about the ambergris they found washed up on the beach. All the while, he used his sharp senses to listen as Castiel greeted the newcomer.

 

“Oh Father, I’m sorry, Nerina! I actually meant to contact you and reschedule.” Castiel fret in the background as the door closed. “We only just got back around four in the morning and we haven’t had much of a chance to settle in yet. Things have been kind of crazy recently and I meant to alter the plan since I hadn’t even had the chance to talk to him about you coming over.”

 

“If now is a bad time, I can come back another day. I just hadn’t heard anything different so I figured we were still on for today.” Nerina responded, clearly sounding like she didn’t want to impose.

 

“Why don’t you just head upstairs to the little living room there and we’ll come up shortly after lunch, if you don’t mind?” Castiel suggested, sounding a bit unsure of his own plan.

 

“That’s fine too if you’re sure he’s ready to meet me.” She agreed.

 

“It should be fine. I’ll talk to him and explain things while we eat.” Castiel assured her. “You know where everything is, of course, since you helped Gabe and me put this place together. Make yourself at home.”

 

Dean heard footsteps going up the stairs and another set headed towards him. He looked away from the TV to see Castiel approaching him from the front of the house. He smiled weakly at the angel, trying not to come off as pissed or upset- certainly not scared- as Cas smiled warmly, albeit nervously, back.

 

“Who was that?” Dean asked, trying to sound casual but likely failing.

 

“Nerina Rees, she’s a Welsh demi-god and an old friend of mine from when I had been dabbling in Welsh cultures, posing as some god or another- they liked me a lot better than most of my siblings,” Castiel explained, attempting to crack a joke that just came off as a depressing bit of commentary on his own childhood. “We can talk more over lunch, which actually is ready now if you’ll turn off the TV for me and come over to the kitchen. I thought we’d just eat at the island today since those super cushy bar stools need to be broken in.”

 

“Sure,” Dean responded, turning off the TV and following his angel to the kitchen.

 

Castiel started dishing up plates of food as Dean took a seat at the island, noticing two place settings instead of just one. He supposed the angel was finally starting to enjoy eating. There were two tall glasses of milk already in place as Cas set the plates down at their settings and took a seat himself. They started eating in awkward silence until Dean couldn’t take it anymore.

 

“Why does Nerina need to meet me?” Dean questioned, glancing up at his angel as he took a bite of the cheesy pasta.

 

“I asked her to meet you because she’s a nanny and a caretaker for age players…” Castiel answered calmly, the last part coming out as more of a loud whisper as he took a sip of milk.

 

“What…?” Dean pressed, thinking he heard Cas wrong.

 

“She’ll be your nanny if all goes well,” Castiel sighed, clearly unhappy about some part of this.

 

“Why would I need a nanny?!” Dean demanded, watching his volume since the nanny in question was just up the stairs. “I thought you were taking care of me?”

 

“Dean, I am taking care of you and I will be, but-” Castiel started, having given up on finishing the last few bites of food left on his plate.

 

“But what?!” Dean snapped, dropping his fork on his plate. “When I originally agreed to let you take care of me, I was agreeing to let  _ you, Castiel, _ do that- not some half breed Welsh chic!”

 

“I’ll still be looking after you-” Castiel tried, being cut off once more.

 

“No, you won’t! You said the fucking point of this was so you could take care of me because you wanted a baby and you love me… and… and that you wanted to give me a do-over! How the fuck is this a do-over if you’re not even here?!” Dean fumed, his voice rising with his anger and disappointment as tears welled up in his eyes. “Were you just bullshitting me so you could stop me from hunting? Was this all some ploy, some shitty-ass emotional blackmail, to keep me out of trouble so you wouldn’t have to keep chasing after me to keep me alive because I’m some Holy Man that’s supposedly so God-damn important that I’m not allowed to die, to be at peace on some other plane of existence?! Tell me! What the fuck is this really?!”

 

Castiel was stunned by the outburst. He was absolutely speechless but kept opening and closing his mouth as his stumped, angelic brain stumbled over itself for the right words to explain everything. Dean could barely watch the baffled angel as his mind went to the filing cabinet that held all the memories of the various betrayals and abandonments he’d been a victim to over the years. All the times that John just dumped him off with Bobby or the families of hunters that offered him and Sammy shelter because the Hunt was too dangerous to leave kids alone in a motel. The numerous pitying looks he received as they talked down to him like he didn’t know what was really going on. Dean felt sick to his stomach as he finally ripped his teary islands out of the grasp of the now roiling oceans he used to find comfort in, back when his angel wasn’t trying to bullshit him. Dean couldn’t do this again. He ran upstairs to the nursery, grabbed his duffel bag from before his supposed vacation, filled it with a few diapers and changing supplies (he knew he was still incontinent from the Grace after having a more thorough conversation with Cas about what all it did), and ran back downstairs, ignoring Nerina’s concerned eyes watching him. Just from the glances he got, he could tell she felt like shit for being the cause of the whole situation. She fucking should- she was probably the reason Cas wouldn’t take care of him anymore. Dean grabbed his keys from the hook by the front door and went out to his baby. He was going somewhere else, anywhere else and he was going to block the angel from his thoughts so he couldn’t be found. 

  
Fucking Angels and their bullshit lines.


	14. Insight From the Golden Girl

Dean wasn’t sure how long he drove or where he was going, but he needed to find somewhere to get gas. He watched the signs on the road, ignoring his constantly buzzing phone. Eventually he saws signs for Asheville. As the exit approached, he got over and took it. He stopped at the first gas station he came across, prepaid for the gas, filled up, and turned his phone on silent as he got back in the car. Castiel had left seven voicemails, sixteen missed calls and four text messages, all of which pleaded Dean to come back and let him explain and make it up to his hunter. Dean wasn’t having it though, the pain still too fresh in his mind. He left the gas station and decided to drive around the city and see what was around. Nothing really caught Dean’s interest so he hopped on I-240 and hoped to get as far away as possible. He had taken the time to figure out how far he’d gone based on the difference in his mileage and it definitely wasn’t far enough from the deceitful angel. 

 

While on 240, he saw a billboard for the Treasure Club, which advertised as being the best strip club that Asheville had to offer. He wasn’t planning to stop so soon, but where there were strippers, there was usually alcohol and he figured he could use both. Plus it was already getting dark, which is when most of the troublemakers of the supernatural persuasion came out and Dean wasn’t in the mood to deal with their bullshit. He had read once that Asheville was fraught with Hunts because it was such a diverse city and there was almost always something to exterminate. The hunter knew that he was in no shape or mood to hunt, so he did what felt right and pulled off on the directed exit and into the Treasure Club’s parking lot. He got out of the car and threw on his favorite jacket, making sure he had his wallet and his phone (just in case Sammy called). With that he strolled into the club, taking a seat at one of the tables next to the stage at the far end of the club, which was also close to the bathrooms. Thankfully, his diaper was still dry- not that he remembered he was wearing one at that point- but that would soon change as a scantily clad woman stalked over in her strappy heels and asked what she could get him. He ordered a dozen shots of tequila and half dozen beers. He had a high tolerance, but knew that even he would be shit-faced after that kind of heavy drinking. It wasn’t long before she came back with his drinks, which he went ahead and paid for, giving her a generous tip in the process. 

 

It was dark, save for the spot lights on the stages that focused primarily on the floor to ceiling, shining poles. Dean sat back and started taking his shots as a young brunette took the stage in front of him. She was wearing a very strappy bra with no lining to it (nipples all the way, Dean happily noted) and a mesh thong that proved that she definitely took care of herself. She was average height with shoulder length hair, dull greyish blue eyes, and a body that had just the right balance of fat and muscle. She had a nice ass with legs that he’d love to have wrapped around his waist, which more than made up for her palm-sized breasts. She had angel wings tattooed on her back, a tramp stamp in cursive scrawl, and some henna tattoos in various places. In addition to all that, her navel was pierced and she had snake bites as well. It was safe to say that Dean was more than satisfied with dancer sent to his stage- she clearly could take some pain and maybe even enjoyed it too. As she posed on the pole, clearly waiting for the next song to start playing, she winked at Dean and he knew it was going to be good. Dean downed his next four shots, having then blown through about eight out of twelve. 

 

“Let’s hear it for our Golden Girl on the far stage, Cherry Skye!” A voice came over the intercom before Warrant’s “Cherry Pie” blared through the speakers.

 

“Fuck yeah!” Dean hollered, downing another shot as she started dancing in time with the music and making good use of the pole on her stage.

 

Dean was thoroughly delighted as he watched her work her magic on stage, having a very well choreographed routine that certainly showed off her flexibility. He thought he was going explode when swung herself around the pole and slid herself (damn she had a lot of sweet smelling body butter that made Dean want to do more than inhale) across the stage to him. She cat-crawled her way until she was part-way on his table, which was pushed up against the stage. She looked him in the eye with a sultry smile, waved a hand and suddenly there was shotglass between Dean’s thighs. He was pleased to realize she had motioned for a shot called a ‘blow job’ and felt the thrill run through him as she slowly lowered her head, took the shotglass in her mouth- no hands as per the rules, and whipped her head up as she downed it in one swallow, making eye contact every given chance. She tilted her chin towards him and he grabbed the shotglass from her mouth with a satisfying pop. She smirked and backed up onto the stage in time for the next song, “C;mon Let Me Ride” by Skylar Grey and Eminem started up and holy shit did Dean start to appreciate new age music as two more girls joined the dancer known as Cherry Skye on stage.

 

_ “And the wheels go round, and round, and round _ ,” They spun their hips, sensually grinding against each other before the other two started posing lustily against Dean’s new favorite dancer.

 

_ “If you got a sweet tooth, _

_ You can taste my watermelons _

_ If a swing set bores you _

_ I can show you all my talent _

_ I can wear a tan like other bitches can _

_ You can have all this, boy! _

_ And there's only one thing that I want from you _

_ C'mon, let me ride your bicycle _

_ It's so fantastical on your bicycle _

_ We can get a little more physical _

_ Baby, after all, it's only natural _

_ I feel it coming, coming, coming, oh _

_ Feel it running, running, running, oh oh _

_ C'mon, let me ride your bicycle _

_ It's so fantastical on your bicycle _

_ You want to ride my bicycle _

_ You want to ride my bike (ha ha)”  _

She came back over to Dean and slipped off the stage, splaying herself across his lap as he happily supported her weight, taken by surprise as they downed two shots together in time with the lyrics:

_ “If the world starts freezing, I can make it hot and humid _

_ If you get a bee-sting, I can suck out all the poison _

_ I can make you last like all the bitches can't _

_ Have I made it clear, boy?”  _

 

At this point, she started giving him a lap dance and made him feel like the center of attention, her hips entrancing him as he started downing his first beer, starting to feel tipsy and hazy.

 

_ “There's only one thing that I want from you, hey! _

_ C'mon, let me ride your bicycle _

_ It's so fantastical on your bicycle _

_ We can get a little more physical _

_ Baby, after all, it's only natural _

_ I feel it coming, coming, coming, oh _

_ Feel it running, running, running, oh _

_ C'mon, let me ride your bicycle _

_ It's so fantastical, on your bicycle _

_ I'm only fucking with you _

_ Fuck you for thinking it's true _

_ I'm not like the sluts in this town _

_ They make me blah in my mouth _

_ I wanna ride on your bike _

_ 'Cause you're the boy that I like _

_ It's like I'm a sell out for you _

_ But your bike's so shiny and new (shiny and new)”  _

 

She hauled herself back on stage with the sensuality and grace that he had never seen any woman move with before and Dean was thoroughly impressed. She joined the other girls and they clearly had a routine for this as Cherry Skye angled her front away from prying eyes while the two girls helped her perform the fastest, most adept costume change in what felt like a split second. When she whipped back around, she was in a shining silver bra and thong in the same strappy, sleazy style as the last outfit.

 

_ “She's distracted by my reflectors, man, I can tell the chick's attracted _

_ My wheels spoke to her, my Swinn is a chick magnet _

_ Bagging up chicks like a bag of chips _

_ With a bag of prophylactics as big as Mick Jagger lips _

_ Shagging's something I'm a pro at, but I ain't practicing shit _

_ Allen Iverson has safe sex, condoms are for practice, man, I skip practice _

_ Flip backwards while I flip this bike on it's banana seat _

_ My fantasy's to have you land where the kick stand is _

_ Got this bitch gagging, they call me the broad killer _

_ I'm the cousin of Godzilla _

_ 'Cause I spit fire and my dick is draggin' _

_ Zig-zaggin' up the avenue, pulling these chicks in my antagonist wagon, screamin' _

_ C'mon, let me ride your bicycle _

_ It's so fantastical on your bicycle _

_ We can get a little more physical _

_ Baby, after all, it's only natural _

_ I feel it coming, coming, coming, oh _

_ Feel it running, running, running, oh _

_ C'mon, let me ride your bicycle _

_ It's so fantastical on your bicycle” _

 

As the song started fading out Dean, chugged half of his next beer and threw Universe knows how many twenties on stage as the girls posed as if they were about to have a three way right in front of him. The hunter was eating it all up and whistling at the beautiful women that just performed for him. 

 

“And now, we’ll take a short break, get these ladies hydrated and ready for the first breakout routine by our amazing Cherry Skye!” The voice over the intercom announced.

 

Dean sighed as he watched all the girls retreat from the stage and a new wave came on to entertain the audience in their absence. He leaned back in his seat, parly leaned against the wall as he pulled his phone out. The music was at a slightly lower volume than before and it was almost comfortable, despite how damn hot it was in there. As he read through his messages, he could just tell that Cas was having a breakdown. He’d gotten a couple from Sammy and Gabe that asked if Dean was alright and what had happened. Dean huffed out a sigh and put his phone away, taking a long swig of his beer. Before his mind really registered what was happening, the lights dimmed and he could just barely see the girls swapping out again. As the lights came back up, he saw Cherry Skye all dolled up. She was wearing a body-hugging, plunge backed black shimmering dress with slits up to her hips that was nearly sheer and came to a point at the base of her throat, only held up by the collar like strip of fabric enclosed around her neck. She had black eyeliner, silver eyeshadow and lips that looked as though they were stained with berry juice. 

 

“Presenting Cherry Skye performing ‘Young God’ by Halsey,” The announcer blares through the speaker as she lifts the microphone up to her lips. “Give it up for Cherry Skye!”

 

There’s whoops, whistles, and hollers for the woman who seems to be everyone’s favorite. She stares Dean in the eyes as the music starts. He takes another long swig of beer as she strut forward with a sexy swing of the hips, posing like a 1980s pin-up girl on the edge of the stage.

 

“He says, "Ooh, baby girl, you know we're gonna be legends I'm a king and you're a queen and we will stumble through heaven If there's a light at the end, it's just the sun in your eyes I know you wanna go to heaven, but you're human tonight" And I've been sitting at the bottom of a swimming pool For a while now, drowning my thoughts out with the sounds,” She sang, taking a quick, but long swig of Dean’s beer. “But do you feel like a young god? You know the two of us are just young gods And we'll be flying through the streets with the people underneath And they're running, running, running 

 

She got up and circled the hunter as if he were the prey, pressing herself against him as she went, “But do you feel like a young god? You know the two of us are just young gods And we'll be flying through the streets with the people underneath And they're running, running, running again. He says, "Oh, baby girl, don't get cut on my edges I'm the king of everything and oh, my tongue is a weapon There's a light in the crack that's separating your thighs And if you wanna go to heaven you, should fuck me tonight" And I've been sitting at the bottom of a swimming pool For a while now, drowning my thoughts out with the sounds But do you feel like a young god? You know the two of us are just young gods And we'll be flying through the streets with the people underneath And they're running, running, running But do you feel like a young god? You know the two of us are just young gods And we'll be flying through the streets with the people underneath And they're running, running, running again…”

 

All the others in the club were making sounds of approval and scandal as she sat sideways on Dean’s lap with their foreheads practically touching with the microphone between them. Dean’s heart was racing with adrenaline and desire, his thoughts slowed but still on track with his hormones. He leaned in for a sensual kiss and was surprised when he received, both of their breaths reeking of alcohol, though it was refreshed by the fruity, floral body butter that had hints of vanilla, brown sugar, roses, and strawberries like a sex driven, romantic picnic on the beach at midnight and oh heaven above, there were fireworks… The moment was ruined as the hunter’s bladder betrayed him, filling the babyish garment taped around his hips that he had forgotten about. When she pulled back, there was an odd look in her eyes, like she knew something and Dean’s breathing became ragged. She slowly rose and flounced off back to the stage. Dean tried to control himself as he got to his feet and hid in the bathroom. He vaguely heard something about having everyone saying goodnight to Cherry Skye since she was done for the night. 

 

The elder Winchester stood in the bathroom and avoided his reflection for what felt like hours but really was only about fifteen minutes. Dean splashed water in his face, trying to fight the humiliation coursing through his system. Just when he thought he had himself under control and turned to grab a paper towel, he found himself face to face with Cherry Skye. She was in her street clothes, which consisted of forest green high-waisted shorts, a blank crop top, and slip on imitation vans, with her makeup still done up as she held out a couple paper towels for him.

 

“This is the men’s room,” Dean stated dumbly, definitely feeling the alcohol starting to hit.

 

“I know, but I also know you’re not okay,” She bluntly stated with a kind smile that managed to communicate that she also didn’t give a shit. “I focused on you for a reason. I know you’re a Little.”

 

Dean’s heart stopped in that instant. He was so slowed by the alcohol that he was having a hard time mustering up a proper indignant reaction.

 

“First off, I do know who you are, Dean,” She started, putting her hands up in a placating gesture. “I met your brother in an online chat room. He was trying to research age play. Your Daddy contacted me as well, though he didn’t know that I’d talked to your brother. He was absolutely terrified that he was going to fuck up and be a terrible caregiver.”

 

“Wait, you…?” Dean slurred, feeling even more inhibited as his brain went into overdrive to try to keep up.

 

“Yes, Dean, I’m a Mommy for age players. My name’s Madie Tiftan.” She introduced herself. “I’m sure you’re Daddy’s worried sick about you.”

 

Dean was so frustrated as the tears started. His diaper was sagging something awful now that he’d been standing and he just felt so confused about everything. The way Castiel had talked earlier made it seem like he was pawning Dean off on Nerina, but this Madie Tiftan was saying that he had contacted her as local caregiver because he thought he’d be a terrible Daddy? Ugh, everything was awful and he was starting to feel a little sick.

 

“Dean, sweetie, let me drive you home,” Madie offered, extending her arms to him. “I can’t force you, but you’re clearly in no shape to drive and you need your diaper changed. Let me help you.”

 

Dean felt so useless as he allowed her to hug him, telling soothing nothings as if he were just a baby. He didn’t have it in him to fight as she took his keys from his jacket pocket. He just stood there and let her wipe his face, having to help him blow his nose just like a pathetic baby he was proving to be. She guided him out of the restroom and out the back exit. Soon they were at his car, Madie unlocked it and pulled out the changing supplies. 

 

“Lie down on the passenger seat for me, sweet pea.” She guided him, having already reclined the seat as far back as it would go. “There you go.”

 

Dean laid there, still crying and feeling worse as Madie started undoing his pants. His sobs escalated to a wailing level as she got down to changing him. She was impressed by the hand-crafted adult-sized car seat that was protruding from the back seat as she got to work. She’d have to ask Castiel to get her one or two for her Littles. Madie cooed sweet nothings to him as she got him into a clean diaper and got his pants back on. She let him lie there for a moment while she packed his stuff back up and tucked it in the car.

 

“Come on, baby boy, let’s get you in your car seat and back to your Daddy.” She purred, helping him up.

 

“Dada…” Dean wailed, sounding absolutely broken.

 

“Yeah, baby, Dada.” She affirmed, helping him into his car seat and buckling him in. 

 

She dug through her purse and pulled out the emergency pacifier she kept on her at all times, never knowing when one of her Littles would need her. Madie popped the soother into Dean’s mouth, which seemed to do the trick. She closed the doors on the passenger side, slid into the driver’s seat, buckled up and took off. The drive back to the house was short, but still long enough for the drunken Little Man to nod off. She had never been more thankful to have visited the other caregiver as she took the familiar route up to the beautiful house. Every light that was visible coming up the drive was on and the front door was frantically thrown open as Madie parked the Impala in the driveway, unbuckling and getting out with her purse over her shoulder. Castiel came running down the path went between the driveway and the porch in his black basketball shorts and pale blue t-shirt, which was quite the contrast to the well-dressed man she had seen last time she visited.

 

“Madie?!” Castiel questioned, surprised and concerned. “Where’s Dean?!”

 

“Shhh, love, he’s sleeping in his seat.” Madie hushed him, gesturing to the back seat of the classic car as she shut the driver’s door as quietly as possible. “He ended up at the Treasure Club and drank a lot. I kept an eye on him once I recognized him from the pictures you’d shown me. Poor baby was shit-faced by the time my shift was over.”

 

“Oh Father…” Castiel breathed, carefully getting Dean out of the safety seat and holding him close. “Why are there tear stains on his face?”

 

“He had a bit of a meltdown when he wet his diaper while he was still in the club.” Madie explained, brushing his now limp bangs away from his face. “He was hiding in the men’s room. I coaxed him out, got him changed, and knew I had to take him back here.”

 

“Thank you so much, Madie.” Castiel responded, holding the little hunter as if he were the most precious thing in existence. “I was so worried about him!”

 

“What happened, Cassie?” She asked, walking with him back up to the house.

 

“Nerina showed up today because I forgot to cancel. I had to tell Dean why she was here, but he didn’t believe what I did say and wouldn’t let me explain myself and my thoughts.” Castiel answered, feeling positively rotten as Madie closed the door behind her. 

 

“Cassie, you never should have tried to introduce her so soon. That was one of the main reasons I refused to introduce myself to him. I warned you that this would happen,” Madie gently scolded, following him to the couch in the living room and taking a seat. “He barely had time to grasp what this entailed before you threw a new person at him, and a potential babysitter nonetheless.”

 

“I know,” Castiel lamented. “It was so stupid of me but Gabe got me thinking and I was afraid that if I didn’t do it now, that I might hurt Dean before I could leave him in safe hands…”

 

“Your Daddy is a dumbass, honey.” Madie pointed out. “You’d never intentionally hurt Dean and if you did by accident, with the way you describe him, he’d probably forgive you while it was still happening. Your baby trusts you so much, Cassie. You need to trust him too. He knows what he’s doing and where and when to draw the line if one needs to be drawn.”

 

“I do trust him…”

 

“Then trust yourself as well. You’ll all be fine, sweetheart.” Madie comforted, carefully wrapping her arms around her friend and kissing his temple. “It’s gonna be okay. Trust me, I’m a Mommy.”

  
It wasn’t long after that that everyone called it a night. Castiel set Madie up in the Fall room in the finished basement since her car was still at the club. He then took his baby up to the nursery and changed him into a Disney Cars patterned footed sleeper, grabbing the mustang pillow and Aristocats blanket. The angel carried his Little hunter to his room and laid down with him, cuddling him close and finding peace in hearing the rhythmic suckling sounds from Dean’s soother. Castiel vowed to make everything right in his little boy’s world and to never do something so stupid again. If he had to call someone, he would call Madie, but he would talk to her about that first. For now, sleep was the most important thing for Dean.


	15. For the Love of You

By the time the sun rose the next day, Castiel had prepared for every possible outcome, except for any that involved Dean still attempting to leave. He had an adult baby bottle full of ice water, a regular drinking glass of ice water, ibuprofen, naproxen, saltines, a waste basket with a fresh liner, and clean clothes with a fresh diaper all set and ready to go for when his hunter woke up. He had run into Madie once the sun came up and she seemed skeptical of his game plan. That only made him more eager to prove himself to his hunter. The only question mark left was Dean himself. 

 

As Castiel settled back in bed with the man, he wrapped his wings- all eight to ensure the light was blocked out- around his hunter as best he could. The angel took his time as he ran his fingers lovingly through Dean’s astonishingly soft locks. He was hoping that those little green islands would be ready to return to their return to their home in (yes, he knew it was such a cheesy and dumb reference) the Castiel Sea. He thought his boy would be simultaneously proud and annoyed with him for that. Afterall, it was more of a play on the Caspian Sea than a movie reference, though the angel was certain that Prince Caspian from  _ The Chronicles of Narnia _ series was named after said body of water. He was pulled from his thoughts as his hunter groaned and began to shift from his position of lying on his stomach with his pacifier still firmly in place.

 

“Good morning, Dean,” Castiel greeted, just loud enough that his boy could hear him.

 

“Cath?” Dean moaned around his pacifier, struggling to open his eyes.

 

“Yes, Dean,” Castiel assured, not wanting to upset his hunter by babying him too soon.

 

“Hurth, Dada…” 

 

Ah, so he was in luck and his hunter forgave him to some extent. 

 

“I know, baby, that’s why Dada blocked out the sun.” Castiel soothed. “Would you like a sip from your baba?”

 

Dean finally cracked his eyes open just enough to look at his angel. It was weird and entertaining to see him dressed so normally. The blue shirt and black athletic shorts looked as if they’d been well worn, already creased and crumpled up. Dean inched himself closer and nodded ever so slightly. He watched as the feathered appendages shifted and fanned out further while Daddy carefully leaned over him and grabbed his bottle.

 

“Do you want to snuggle and nurse a bit?” Daddy offered, inciting a burst of ecstasy in his hunter as he pet the soft locks.

 

He would never admit it out loud, but he wasn’t really that mad at Castiel for the whole nanny ordeal because he knew the angel was just trying to cover all his bases to keep his hunter safe. It was that stupid Grace that exaggerated every thought, every feeling and made him remember all the things he had worked so hard to suppress and forget. The memories this brought up were almost bad as the flashback he’d had to when John told him to grow the fuck up and pull his weight. 

 

But this series of memories hurt more. Mary Winchester, his mother, was the primary feature. He remembered being about two years old, being so deathly sick- the shivering fever, the inability to focus or stay awake, his throat feeling as if it were swollen shut, throwing up so violently that it came out his nose, the diarrhea, and losing his stomach contents every hour on the hour even when he hadn’t consumed anything- and his mother cradling him so delicately with so much love as she held him in a lukewarm bath with a bottle of cool water to soothe his aching throat. She had said something very similar as she lovingly supported his feverish little body against her exposed flesh. John had even taken a turn and looked after him… But then there was the fire that changed everything… No more Mommy to tell him angels were watching over him and no more coddling and having every little need and desire met. Just John yelling at him to hold himself together, clean up his own mess, stop having accidents, and take care of Sammy but if he got the baby sick it would be the last thing he ever did. It was all too much. 

 

Dean ignored the throbbing in his head and lurched up off the bed, leaning against the nightstand for support. He angrily spit the babyish comfort object into the trash and turned to glare at the angel with watery eyes and a deep scowl. Castiel looked shocked and a bit pained as he delicately held his right wings- the ones that had been under Dean. The hunter felt a bit bad- he wanted Cas to know he wasn’t happy with this but he hadn’t meant to hurt him and he was sure it showed on his face. He wasn’t sure what he wanted out life, if anything, but it wasn’t to reopen old wounds and feel the sting of past losses. The whole reason Dean was in this ridiculous arrangement was his lack of desire to keep going, feeling so burdened and like a blemish on the world. Everyone kept saying he was such a good guy and he was doing amazing things for the world, but it just didn’t feel like it anymore. Too many people reacted as if he were the monster just because all the threats they faced were camouflaged as normal, everyday humans when really the phrase ‘a wolf in sheep’s clothing’ didn’t even begin to describe what was out there. Dean was just so sick of it all. He’d nearly died and actually been dead more times than he could count and almost every time, he hoped it was really the end.

 

“I’m done, Castiel.” Dean stated, staring down his hurt angel.

 

He’d never ever called the angel Castiel before- it was always Cas or some sort of nickname, term of endearment, but never by his name. Castiel felt his Grace ache and chill. He tried to stabilize it before Gabriel could sense the change and come bursting into a situation that he once again knew nothing about.

 

“What do you mean?” Castiel asked, keeping his voice quiet as looked up at his hunter in confusion and sadness.

 

“This. Everything… Life!” Dean answered, getting exasperated. “I can’t do this anymore, Cas! It’s like I keep telling Sammy, the dead should stay dead and you all need to just let me go!”

 

“You know I can’t do that, Dean…” Castiel pointed out, looking pained. “You haven’t even had a chance at a normal life.”

 

“Yes, I did. I tried with Lisa and Ben, but I’m just not cut out for it.” Dean argued, getting more and more frustrated. “It’s not me, Cas! I have no life left to go! Besides, if you’re right, I’m going to Heaven anyway so why keep me on Earth? Why not let me come up to Heaven and then you can be with me for all eternity for fuck’s sake!”

 

Castiel sat up in bed and wrapped his wings around himself, almost like blankets. He couldn’t look his hunter in the eye and admit the reason that he wasn’t ready for Dean to go to Heaven. If the hunter knew… Well, Castiel was afraid the man might even attempt suicide.

 

“Dammit, Castiel! Answer me!” Dean demanded, his shout echoing through the room and out into the rest of the house. If Madie hadn’t called anyone to pick her up, the angel was sure she heard and was shaking her head.

 

“Because you can’t ever see me again if you go to Heaven. It’s against… Well, everything, for angels and deceased humans to interact. Heaven is separated into levels. Primarily Angels and deceased Humans. But the other reason is that even if I were to break the rules- which as you know wouldn’t be the first time- you would be too absorbed in being reunited with your parents.” Castiel sighed, studying the floral paisley comforter as if it were the most fascinating thing. “Your mother asks about you almost constantly. Every time a new wave of Humans is brought into Heaven, she harasses the Angels that are there to help them adjust to the afterlife. Mary Winchester is the only spirit to wander from her patch of Heaven and most certainly the only one to constantly bug them. She’s actually the reason that the Angels have started bickering about who welcomes the newcomers to our realm.”

 

“Why wouldn’t you ever tell me this?” Dean pressed, hurt that someone so close to him would withhold information like that.

 

“I was scared, Dean!” Castiel snapped, tears welling in his eyes. “There, now you know. The big bad angel is just a scared little cherub! Is that what you wanted to hear?!”

 

Dean was actually stunned by that. He didn’t think anything could scare the angel at this point. Sure, he knew Castiel had human emotions unlike the others, but fear never seemed to be one of them. Afterall, when Castiel was barely full grown in angel terms, he’d ventured to Hell to pull Dean out. So what could the angel possibly fear now?

 

“Oh, don’t look at me like that.” Castiel bitterly said, wiping a rogue tear from his face with frustration plastered over his features. “I’ve always been afraid for you. Why do you think I’ve always tried to keep you out of harm’s way? Why would I suddenly start going with you on nearly every hunt? Yes, I want a baby someday and yes, I want to you to know and remember what it’s like to have someone love you so much they’d do everything- literally everything- for you, but it’s also because I want you to be safe and away from all the evil in this world. I know I can’t know for sure what all could come after you, could happen to you, but I can do my damnedest to keep you out of their sights because once you’re dead, I can’t have you.”

 

Dean couldn’t have been more conflicted if the whole world was in on this and shouting either ‘Team Cas’ or ‘Team Dean’ just like with that damn  _ Twilight Saga _ that had everyone romanticizing vampires and werewolves. It was infuriating how much a being that he had once been convinced didn’t exist could make him question everything and rethink his entire perspective. At the same time, there was a revelation that dawned on him. His mom had always told him that angels were watching over him and for the longest time, he shared the sentiment of guy from The National’s song that Cas seemed to appreciate such much- “Mistaken for Strangers,” was the title if he remembered right.

 

“Yes, that’s the one.” Castiel agreed, amused by the bitch face that Dean aimed at him for once again invading his thoughts. “ _ You get mistaken for strangers by your own friends When you pass them at night Under the silvery, silvery Citibank lights, Arm in arm in arm and eyes and eyes, glazing under. Oh, you wouldn't want an angel watching over Surprise, surprise, they wouldn't wanna watch. Another un-innocent, elegant fall Into the un-magnificent lives of adults. Make up something to believe in your heart of hearts So you have something to wear on your sleeve of sleeves. So you swear, you just saw a feathery woman Carry a blindfolded man through the trees _ … Sound familiar? You never intended to have an angel care for you and you fought me for years. Now, you finally cave and let me love you, but then you rip it all away, not just from me but yourself- like some cruel joke.”

 

“A little too familiar…” Dean muttered, unnerved by the truth of it all. “I can’t do this, Cas… I just can’t! It’s too much! It’s too weird! Too freaky, even for me.”

 

“I know none of this is easy for you, but it’s just like when you first discovered that monsters were real. It’s terrifying and overwhelming at first, but then you know things, experience things and suddenly, it’s just another day.” Castiel qualified, his wings tightening reflexively as the angel’s insecurities flare up. “I’ve been trying to ease you into this, but sometimes it’s all or nothing with you.”

 

“Then why do you even bother if I’m such a pain in the ass?!” Dean interrogated, leveling Castiel with the most hurt look the angel had ever seen. “Why would you put up with my bullshit over and over again?”

 

Castiel had calmed down a lot after his outburst when he’d had to admit fear. He was trying to be as patient and honest at possible, both of which were necessary when dealing with a Winchester. He took a deep breath and prepared himself for whatever would happen next. It hurt to see the tears starting to stream down the elder Winchester’s face, especially since he knew the man couldn’t help it and was most certainly beating himself up for it. Castiel got up from the bed and fluffed his wings out, each one subconsciously reaching out to the human they had cradled in their sturdy, plush-like feathers. He walked around the bed and stood close to his noble hunter, the Mortal Prince of Heaven.

 

“ Everything I do, Dean, I do for a reason." Castiel insisted, trying to be patient despite his deeply seeded desire to hold his hunter.

"And what the fuck is that, Cas?" Dean snapped, the tears still defiantly streaming down his face. "Cause so far all this has done is pulled up far too many damn memories."

"Listen to me, Dean Winchester," Castiel responded, forcing the man to look him in the eyes. "I do all of this... For the love of you."

"What...?" Dean questioned, taking a shaky breath.

"It's because I love you and you give me something I want to give you..." Castiel answered, smiling sadly as he embraced the Dean, infantile soul and all. "I want to give you a home like you gave me..."

 

Dean emitted a sound of frustration as he clung to the angel and cried his heart out. Why did he have to love this one over all the others? Why couldn’t he have bonded with Gabriel? At least he’d only have to deal with pranks and bad jokes all the time… But no, he bonded with Castiel, the angel that made him face his past and actually consider having a future.

 

“Oh, I know. It’s so terrible to be cared about,” Castiel mock sympathized, fighting the urge to laugh at his pouty boy. “I am just the worst, aren’t I?”

 

“Yes!” Dean groaned through his sniffles. “The worst of the worst…”

 

“That’s pretty bad, huh?” Castiel absently mused, rubbing Dean’s back and nuzzling his temple.

 

It was silent for what felt like hours before Dean pulled back and wiped his face on his sleeve, looking absolutely miserable. His head was certainly killing him at that point. He rolled his eyes when he saw the pattern and what kind of outfit it was on.

 

“I don’t suppose you’d like to give age play one last try?” Castiel inquired, almost afraid to hear the answer.

 

“What are you kidding me?”

 

“I was afraid of that…” Castiel frowned. “All of your adult things are in the room next to mine. I’ll call Gabriel so we can renovate the nursery and the playroom then we’ll re-decorate your bath-”

 

“Woah, slow your roll there, black swan!” Dean stopped him. “That’s not what I meant. I mean, you owe after all these breakdowns and whatnot. You’re going to be waiting on me hand and foot for at least the next week.”

 

“So…?”

 

“So what?”

 

“So I get to take care of you and have you be my sweet little baby boy?” Castiel asked hopefully with the biggest, cutest puppy dog eyes and the most adorable little pleading pout on those pleasantly proportioned lips- just full enough to give a childlike innocence and shaped just right to allude to a more seductive potential.

 

How could someone be so innocent and pure while still being so sinfully tempting? Dean did not appreciate his angel stirring up those old feelings and memories of when he first discovered he liked men just as much as women- if not more so. 

 

“Fine, but if I say stop or no more or whatever, we’re done with it. Got it?” Dean clarified, giving Cas the most serious look he could muster while standing in a slightly used diaper and footie pajamas.

 

“You won’t regret it, Dean!” Castiel promised, picking his boy up and settling him on his hip as he showered him in kisses and hugs.

  
God, it felt so good to be loved for once...


	16. The Hunt to End All Hunts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Castiel finally have a chance to age play where the hunter is consenting and lucid, but a certain all powerful being has sent a messenger to tell them they'll have to reschedule. Castiel helps Dean to age up a bit before he sets off with Sam to Fort Sumter in Charleston, South Carolina, where some entity is wreaking havoc. Dean gets a sinking feel that this might be his last hunt.
> 
> WARNING!!! SOMEWHAT GRAPHIC SCENES!!! DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH VIOLENCE OR GORE.

The next day, Dean was fully recovered from his hangover and ready to give Castiel’s crazy, embarrassing role play a try. Madie had gone home the day before but not without snuggling with Dean for a few hours first. They got up around eight in the morning, when the angel carried a sleepy, grouchy Dean to the nursery and laid him down on the changing table. His  little boy was certainly a natural at playing the two year old. He squirmed, fussed, and kicked as Castiel strapped him in.

 

“Oh, I know!” Castiel cooed, patting Dean’s padded bum. “Poor baby, feeling so icky and tired! Daddy’s going to make it all better.”

 

Castiel reached into the smallest basket under the table and grabbed a pale blue pacifier detailed with little angel wings and a halo with the words ‘little angel’ scrawled in Enochian. Dean made a face and spit it out repeatedly before Cas pressed and held it in place with his index and middle finger with a patient smile. Dean pouted and took to sucking on the soother. He’d only had a few drops of Grace to smooth things over and help him relax while they’d played for the first time since he’d accidentally consumed enough to regress to infancy. With the minimal amount he had, he was equivalent to a toddler.

 

Dean started to tense and looked ready to cry as Castiel started to undress him. The angel figured he was about to ‘make a mess’ again and the adult in the back of his baby’s mind was humiliated. Castiel retrieved a clean diaper, the pack of wipes, and the baby powder scented lotion. He rubbed Dean’s tummy as he continued to coo sweet nothings to the distressed baby as the Little started to cry when Daddy untaped and opened his desecrated diaper. The angel made quick work of the change and left his baby in just a diaper. Dean reached for his Daddy and was rewarded with being picked up. Castiel gently bounced his boy while he dug through the dresser to find an outfit, humming an Enochian lullaby all the while. He finally settled on a dark gray onesie with the Led Zeppelin logo plastered on the front and on the back was a quote from their song, “Houses of the Holy,” in cursive scrawl that read, ‘ _ There's an angel on my shoulder, in my hand a sword of gold Let me wander in your garden and the seeds of love I'll sow you know. _ ’ 

 

“What do you think, honeybee?” Castiel hummed, heading for the stairs. “You like the outfit Daddy made you?” 

 

Dean hummed, resting his head on Cas’ shoulder. At least he was still able to enjoy his band paraphernalia. As they made it downstairs and turned towards the living room, Dean froze with his big green eyes open as wide as could be. Someone- an angel based on the rainbow colored wings flaring out from their back- was passed out on their couch. The little hunter’s sucking rhythm sped up, the pacifier bobbing like a buoy on a lake in the wake of a motorboat. He looked up at his Daddy nervously and was confused when the angel didn’t look concerned, more annoyed than anything really…

 

“Excuse me, but how in the Universe did you find me?” Castiel demanded, angling Dean so he was further from half-passed out angel. “And more importantly, why in Hell are you here?”

 

The angel on the couch lazily stretched and rose as he turned towards them. He wasn’t really attractive by any stretch of the imagination- unless you liked that grungy, washed-up British Punk Rock look. Seriously, when did the angel inhabit this person and how was the vessel not degrading before their eyes? The guy looked like he’d been in a downward spiral of hardcore drugs and too much booze to even see straight anymore before this angel- who was coming off as a stereotypical flamboyant gay man based on the wings and stance alone, though it was hard to ignore the harsh black eyeliner- before he’d been inhabited.

 

“Cassie, love, you’re not that hard to find. Gabriel sucks at hiding and even if I hadn’t known you two would be near each other, I am your ex and you know what they say about angels that date.” The man answered. “As for why I’m here, I wanted to see my little brother…”

 

“Try that again and no one, no matter what race or species says anything about angels that date because no one knows that we date because that is incest which we try to discourage amongst all the others since there are unwanted consequences attached.” Castiel shot down with the most unamused expression Dean had ever seen.

 

“Calm ya wings, Love. No need to get all chuffed about it.” The man teased with a smirk that probably seemed charismatic to the street whores in the shady part of London but did nothing for the angel and his baby hunter. “I’m actually here because there’s something pear-shaped in South Carolina and Dad told me to alert you and…” 

 

The man paused, his eyebrows raised as he casually cocked his head to the side with his chin stuck out. He hadn’t paid much attention to Dean before, which the hunter had previously thanked his lucky stars for but came to curse them as the new angel started studying him.

 

“Ain’t he supposed to be the Mortal Prince of Heaven?” The angel asked, extremely amused as Dean whined and hid his face in the curvature of Castiel’s neck- his angel smelled intoxicatingly amazing, he was happy to note. “That’s cute. Itty bitty Dean Winchester, wearing a diaper, a bodysuit, and smoochin’ a dummy is the big bad hunter that stopped the apocalypse, eh?”

 

“Balthazar, say one more thing that isn’t about what Dad sent you for and I will shackle you so you can’t stop me from plucking your pretty little plumage from your auspicious, flamboyant wings. You never go back to Heaven anymore so I’m sure you don’t need your feathers.” Castiel threatened, wrapping his wings around Dean, who was starting to cry and shake. “It’s alright, Baby Bee. We’ll get this sorted out and have breakfast soon.”

 

“That’s assuming you have time. Gabe’s little mortal lover is already packing up and heading here.” Balthazar alerted them. “Turns out Fort Sumter’s back in business, but not to host another Civil War amongst the Humans. The Supernatural seem to have made it their stomping grounds. There’s reports of ghosts, but their might be some other nasty blighters hiding out there as well. There’s been at least five reported deaths in the last three weeks. Dad thinks it’s time for the Winchesters to take a swing at it while the angels are repopulating. He doesn’t think it’s anything a couple salt and burns and maybe a few silver bullets can’t cure.”

 

“Of course, He wants Sam and Dean instead of any other hunter.” Castiel sighed, shrouding Dean’s soul in his Grace, which seemed to help calm the baby down. “I take it they have to leave today?”

 

“That’s what the Big Man asked. Too many innocent tourists and employees of the tour are keelin’ over before their time.” 

 

“Is Gabriel coming with Sam?”

 

“I could answer that or you could just open your front door.”

 

Castiel rolled his eyes as he turned to open the front door, cooing at and bouncing his little boy in his arms. Sure enough, as the sturdy oak door opened, Gabriel and Sam were walking up the front steps towards them. Sam was one-handedly texting on his new smartphone- cleverly patched by his angel so it was untraceable.

 

“Hey Cassie, where’s the munchkin?” Gabriel greeted, swinging his and Sam’s interlocked hands as they entered the house. “Nevermind. I think I know if that twit’s here.”

 

“Twit? Really? Why don’t you just up the anti and skip straight to twat?” Balthazar challenged, all too ready to start a verbal war with the archangel just for the fun of it.

 

“Not in my house or I will make good on that promise, Bal.” Castiel warned.

 

“And here I was under the impression that it was a threat.” Balthazar joked.

 

“It’s been upgraded to the Thursday Guarantee.” Castiel flatly quipped. 

 

“Ah, I see what you did there!” Balthazar chuckled. “Cause you’re the angel of Thursday. Clever, Love! Anywhore, it's about time I shove off.”

 

“For the love of Heaven, shut up, Bal.” Gabriel groaned with face in his hands, not realizing the other angel just left.

 

“Uh, Gabriel?” Sam spoke up. “Who are you talking to?”

 

Gabriel looked up and grinned, “Cassie, it’s a miracle! He’s gone!”

 

“I have no idea what just happened,” Sam stated, looking to Castiel for answers.

 

“Be glad you only glimpsed him.” Cassie assured the younger Winchester.

 

“I didn’t though. I was reading the text I got from Bobby about the Fort Sumter deaths.” Sam corrected, tucking his phone in his jacket pocket.

 

“That’s for the best.” Gabe informed him.

 

“Is Dean ready to go?” Sam asked, ready to get going.

 

“Not even close, I’m afraid.” Castiel responded, folding his wings behind himself.

 

Dean squirmed as his stomach growled and started crying like any upset, frustrated toddler would. He clung to his angel tighter and just wanted to disappear from the world. Sammy hadn’t seen him act like this and he didn’t want him to start now. 

 

“Is he okay?” Sam questioned, starting to worry for his brother.

 

“He’s fine. He had a bit of Grace this morning so it’s fogging up his mind and helping him regress. Just give us a few hours and we’ll be right as rain.” Castiel answered, kissing Dean’s temple. “Why don’t Gabriel and you head out to get some food? You can text us where you’re at and Dean will meet up with you there.”

 

“Sure, I guess.” Sam hesitated. “Cas, are you sure he’s gonna be alright to hunt?”

 

“This is your brother we’re talking about, Sam.” Castiel chuckled. “Once I help him clear his mind, he’ll be back to his usual keen, smartass self.”

 

“Alright. I guess we’ll head out then.” Sam submitted, looking to his archangel. “So, where to, Babe?”

 

“Probably somewhere in Asheville…” Gabe mused, swinging their hands once more as they walk towards the entrance. “I got it!”

 

With that, the front door opened, shut, and they were gone. Castiel looked back to his thoroughly embarrassed baby and felt bad for the boy. He inadvertently met an angel he’d never seen before and been forced to be seen by his brother while in headspace. Oh yes, this was going swimmingly. Not.

 

“Alright, Dean. Here’s the plan,” Castiel sighed as he walked to the kitchen. “We’ll have a bottle, then maybe something more substantial if you’re still hungry. After that, we’ll figure out what to have you wear since there’s no way you will have control over your bladder yet. Once you’re ready, I have a stimulant, most people use the layman’s term of focus pill, for you to take. It will help clear the Grace enough to manage your coordination and focus, but I’m afraid it won’t help you with your emotions. It may make you irritable, so be sure to warn Sam, otherwise he’ll just be angry with you the whole time you’re together.”

 

“No…” Dean protested around the pacifier.

 

“Dean, I know this is incredibly bad timing, but we don’t have much of a choice.” Castiel reasoned, taking a pre-made bottle from the fridge and popping it into the warmer on the counter. “Will you please work with me?”

 

“Fine. Down… Please…” Dean responded, taking the soother out and leaving it on the counter. 

 

Castiel frowned, but set the boy down. He watched Dean unsteadily toddle- yes, legitimately so because of his somewhat bowed legs and the ridiculously thick diaper- over to the couch in the living room, crinkling all the while. The pouty hunter dropped onto the couch with his arms folded across his chest. Castiel’s heart weighed heavy in his chest. He really did want this time with his baby but he knew that the Hunt must be important if the Father of Heaven was calling on Dean and Sam. He grabbed the bottle from the warmer as it beeped at him, tucked the pacifier in his shorts’ pocket, and went to join his Little in the living room. He took a seat in the armchair, which had been advertised as ‘the Cuddler,’ and opened his arms to Dean with a warm smile. Thankfully, his boy couldn’t resist and practically threw himself at the angel. After settling into a comfortable position, Castiel slipped the teat into his baby’s mouth and began humming a soft melody. Dean watched him with those beautiful greens filling him with contentment. The way his baby looked at him was the same way you’d expect an art connoisseur to gaze at Vincent Van Gogh’s  _ The Starry Night. _ It was such an amazing feeling, even more so than when he proclaimed himself God and had felt the power of all those souls running through him (thinking back on it, that actually made him feel dirty). 

 

All too soon, it was over. Dean had finished and spit the nipple out, only to startle as he suddenly had a pacifier slipped into his mouth. He gave his angel a betrayed look as Castiel stood up, hauling Dean onto his hip as he went. Cas chuckled and carried his boy upstairs. They entered the nursery, where he set Dean down in his crib and encouraged his little boy to hold onto Cassie the kitten. The angel sorted through the clothes hanging in the closet which mostly consisted of normal adult outfits that would accommodate the diapers for occasions just such as this. Castiel was nothing if not thorough. He had just pulled out a flannel and jeans when he heard Dean crying. Cas’ heart sank as he set the clothes on the dresser and lifted the baby from his crib. The boy’s cries started to dull almost immediately.

 

“I know, Baby. This was supposed to be our time.” Castiel comforted, taking a seat in the rocking chair as he started to hum once again. “Would you like to sing with Daddy?”

 

Dean gave the angel a skeptical look as he sucked on his soother.

 

“I was thinking we could sing ‘Honey and the Bee’ by Owl City. I like the sentiment.” Castiel explained, going back to humming while his boy thought it over.

 

The seraph chuckled as he suddenly found a pacifier being shoved at him. He set it off to the side and began to sing.

 

“ Don't remind me That some days I'm the windshield And other days I'm just a lucky bug. These cold iron rails Leave old mossy trails Through the countryside. The crow and the beanfield Are my best friends, but boy I need a hug,” Castiel sang in his rich tenor, hugging his baby closer.

 

“Boy I need a hug,” Dean jumped in.

 

“'Cause my heart stops without you, There's something about you That makes me feel alive,” Castiel continued. “If the green left the grass on the other side,”

 

“I would make like a tree and leave.”

 

“But if I reached for your hand, would your eyes get wide?”

 

“Who knew the other side could be so green?” Dean sang in his velvety bass. “Don't remind me I'm a chickadee in love with the sky But that's clearly not a lot to crow about 'Cause when the stars silhouette me I'm scared they'll forget me and flicker out. I taste honey but I haven't seen the hive. Yeah, I didn't look, I didn't even try, But still my heart stops without you 'Cause there's something about you That makes me feel alive.”

 

“If the green left the grass on the other side,” Castiel joined back in.

 

“I would make like a tree and leave.” 

 

“But if I reached for your hand, would your eyes get wide?”

 

“Who knew the other side could be so green?”

 

“We are honey and the bee,” Castiel sang with a huge grin as he got to his feet with his baby on hip, twirling them all around the room as they continued their duet. “Backyard of butterflies surrounded me.”

 

“I fell in love with you like bees to honey!” Dean grinned with his arms around his Daddy’s neck.

 

“Let's up and leave the weeping to the willow tree.”

 

“And pour our tears in the sea.”

 

“I swear There's a lot of vegetables out there That crop up for air. Yeah, I never thought We were two peas in a pod To be suddenly bloomed,” Castiel sang, lifting his hunter up and tossing him slightly in time with the lyrics. “And I knew that I'd always love you...”

 

“Oh, I'll always love you too,” Dean sang back at a much quieter volume, leaning into his angel as he was set on his feet.

 

In a spur of the moment decision, the Winchester closed his eyes tight with his arms around the angel’s neck and kissed him passionately. Castiel was stunned at first but more than happy to reciprocate once the initial shock had worn off. After a minute of shunning oxygen, the two broke apart and exhaled the ecstasy of the moment. Cas was the first to pull back, unsure of whether that was simply situation driven or how his human actually felt.

 

“Come on, Bee, let’s get you dressed so you can take the stimulant and get going.” Castiel suggested, clearing his throat as he turned to grab the clothes for Dean.

 

“Aren’t we going to finish your song?” Dean pressed, confused by the sudden distance.

 

“No, we don’t have to, Dean.” Castiel dismissed, turning back to the man with the outfit in hand. “I know Owl City’s not in your preferred genre. Besides, you still need to finish getting ready. I was just stalling, I suppose.”

 

Dean took the clothes from the angel and went into the attached bathroom. He pulled on the jeans- surprisingly glad the onesie was part of the outfit and an inconspicuous design to hide his diaper- and then slipped on the flannel. He paused and looked at his reflection, leaning on the edge of the double vanity. What was he thinking kissing Cas like that? Fuck, he’d been so  _ stupid _ ! Of course the angel wasn’t interested. Dean was just an oversized baby in the other man’s eyes. Why would Castiel want to have a romantic relationship with the same man he changed diapers for? Dean turned the faucet on and washed his face, patting it dry with the nearby hand towel as he turned the tap off. He took a deep breath and tried to figure out his next move. Should he pretend like it never happened? Did they need to talk about it? Hell, if he knew… 

 

The hunter heaved a sigh, choking back his amplified emotions and exited back into the nursery. Castiel was holding a pre-packed, subtle duffel bag and he already knew what was in it- changing supplies and a spare outfit or two since he was technically incontinent. Dean mumbled a thanks as he took the bag and followed Castiel through the angel’s bedroom to the attached master bathroom. Cas grabbed a little orange bottle of pills and tiny disposable cup. He watched the seraph fill the cup with water from the tap and took it from him with the two half-white, half-orange pills he had pulled from the bottle. Dean tossed them back and chugged the small cup of water to ensure they went all the way down.

 

“You should grab the rest of your stuff and get your shoes on. I’ll go start up the Impala.” Castiel instructed.

 

Dean simply nodded and followed orders, taking the young angel’s cue to just avoid discussion of the incident for the time being. It was going to be a long, awkward ride.

 

As predicted, the drive to the cafe that Gabriel and Sam were waiting for them at was quiet and unsettling. Castiel’s face was alight with a blush on and off when Dean would glance over at him. The stimulant was starting to kick in a bit as they finally parked outside the cafe. Their brothers were sitting at one of the outside tables, laughing and cuddling with their chairs side by side at the table. Dean mentally slapped himself for the longing that crept up inside of him. It was wrong to want someone who clearly didn’t want him- or so he told himself. The hunter got out of the car first and approached the two, clearing his throat to get their attention.

 

“Save it for when we get back, Sammy.” Dean said, more bothered that he and Cas didn’t have that than anything. “We’ve got some spirits to put to rest. Then you can go home and bang your boyfriend.”

 

“Alright, alright,” Sam laughed, getting up from his seat with a final kiss to his archangel- right on the lips, Dean jealously noted. “I’ll see you when I get back.”

 

“Sam, we should discuss a couple things before you and Dean take off.” Castiel chirped up, joining them.

 

“Let’s at least get in the car first, people.” Dean griped, getting agitated the more the pills travelled through his bloodstream. 

 

“Take a breath, Dean-o.” Gabe joked, following the others to get in the Impala.

 

The angels took the back seat while the brothers took the front. Dean buckled up, started the car, and backed out of the space. Sam, Castiel, and Gabe exchanged questioning looks as Dean started towards I-240 which would lead to I-26, a straight shot to Charleston. Sam had text him on the drive to Asheville with Cas that it would be a four hour drive if they didn’t make any stops.

 

“What did you want to talk about, Cas?” Sam prompted, turned halfway around in his seat. 

 

“Dean is running entirely on the stimulants I gave him. They are safe, but with the Grace still in his system, his emotions will continue to have the same instability. His bladder control is also not on par with his normal level of control. He’s already equipped to handle that himself. I doubt he’ll allow you to help him.” Castiel explained, frowning at the scowl Dean gave him via the rearview mirror. “But I wanted to give you a couple extra doses of the stimulant just in case.”

 

Castiel handed over the tiniest, circular tupperware any of them had ever seen. Sam could hear the pills rattling inside as he tucked them into his pocket.

 

“Anything else I should know?” Sam asked, trying to figure out if Cas knew what was up with his brother.

 

“No, I believe that is it.” Castiel responded, looking amusingly clueless. “I suppose we’ll depart then.”

 

“We’re heading back to Heaven, Cassie.” Gabriel told him with a wink.

 

“Alright, Gabriel. I’ll humor you.” Cassie agreed, rolling his eyes before lowering his volume and sing-songing in his boy’s ear. “ _ And I knew that I’d always love you _ , Honeybee. I’ll see you soon.”

 

Dean had the car stopped at the intersection before the interstate entrance ramp when Castiel leaned forward and kissed the hunter’s cheek. As the blush turned Dean’s freckled face bright red, the angels disappeared with the sound of wings flapping in a strong breeze. The older Winchester gave his younger brother a deadly look that would haunt the taller man’s dreams for the next few days.

 

“Not one fucking word.” Dean threatened, turning back to the road as he took off to the sound of the cars behind him laying on their horns.

 

==>

 

They would have drove for four hours straight, but Sam drank too much espresso at the cafe. What should have been four hours became six because the younger Winchester didn’t want them to go into a fight without the energy necessary so they stopped to eat when they were only an hour away. It was safe to say that Dean was the most irritable he’d been since they hunted down that douchebag dreamwalker- which was years ago at this point so this was really saying something. In reality, Dean just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry because he was about 300 miles away from his Daddy’s house and the Grace made it so hard to be big. Even if Cas were still in Heaven, he’d still be able to feel safe because he still had his nursery- not that he’d ever in a million years admit to it or that he liked any of it. He had appearances to keep up.

 

When they parked at Fort Sumters Visitor’s Center, it was already dark and hours after the last tour had already left and returned. Dean got out of Baby and looked around, trying to figure out where the fort was supposed to be. Sam got out and came around to join him, pulling out his phone.

 

“Good news and bad news.” Sam announced, scrolling through the webpage for the tours. “Good news is that no one will see us going out there or coming back if this is just a case of spirits and maybe a werewolf or something along those lines.”

 

“What’s the bad news?” Dean questioned.

 

“Fort Sumter is on an island just off the shore…” Sam answered.

 

“Son of a bitch.” Dean grumbled. “Well, we better figure out how the hell we’re gonna get there.”

 

“Why don’t we just pray to Cas and Gabe?” Sam suggested.

 

“Because they’re in Heaven for one thing. For another, they almost never get time to themselves between us and whatever their dickhead siblings demand of them.” Dean shot down, walking over to a sign for the Fort Sumter tours that had a cork board under the map of the historic landmark. “Maybe there’s something here that’ll hint us to how we can get across…”

 

Sam joined his brother and after a few minutes of reading through irrelevant flyers, they found one for a fisherman who advertised his services to be primarily for sunset and night trips. Apparently the guy did the whole romantic boat ride get- up for couples. The brothers shared a look that screamed ‘here we go again’ as Dean pulled out his phone and dialed the number. It took about an hour for the guy to come pick them up from the nearest dock and then they were off. They had already fabricated their story in case the guy asked the unnecessary questions of how they met, how long had they been together and blah, blah, frickin’ blah. When the fisherman profiled them perfectly as hunters of the sinister otherworldly beings, the brothers were both relieved and embarrassed because they had been holding hands and flirting- pretending the other one was their angel or archangel- playing up the fake relationship while dying bit by bit on the inside. On the bright side, the man taught Sam about driving a boat, which struck the Grace-muddled Dean as odd. It was certainly a huge relief when they docked at the island and the boys were able to depart. The captain promised to be there to take them back and waved as they departed with their gear. 

 

The ground level of the fort was pleasantly grassy but otherwise barren aside from the giant, architectural monstrosity in the center of  it that was clearly the tourist trap and the actual structure itself. The Winchesters shrugged and decided to split up to cover more ground, ensuring both had their phones on hand. Sam holstered the Colt from his bag took the building in the center, which likely had all the memorabilia that may or may not end up being the artifacts holding any ghosts there. Dean sheathed Ruby’s knife in the inner pocket of his jacket and searched the fort itself, looking for any potential trap doors or bunkers that might be hiding bodies or some other supernatural baddie. After scouring three-fourths of the stone framework, he finally found a hatch that had thin stepping stones cemented onto it to camouflage it. Dean left it the door open and slowly descended, keeping his flashlight aimed ahead of him and vigilantly checking all directions. All the while, Sam was attempting to fight off the ghost Major Robert Anderson- the man who was in charge of the garrison at Fort Sumter when they were forced to surrender.

 

Suddenly, the door to the hatch slammed shut and Dean had a bad feeling about this job. As he proceeded further to see if there was spirit ahead of him, he was alarmed and confused by what he found. There was a single chair, a table strewn with various torture devices, and rope but no apparition. He pulled his phone out, ready to call his brother and see if Sam had found anything. Instead, he found himself flying across the bunker and tied to the chair.

 

“Take a seat, Dean.” The familiar voice of the captain from the boat called as the elder Winchester struggled in the chair. “Those angels are so gullible and don’t even get me started on the Big Man upstairs himself. With his all-knowing brain, he still couldn’t deduce this was a trap.”

 

“Who the fuck are you?” Dean questioned.

 

“Ouch, Dean. That hurts my feelings.” The Captain pouted as all too familiar tawny hawk-like, battered wings spread out from behind him.

 

“Raphael! You son of a bitch!” Dean shouted, trying to cover up the urge to cry with anger.

 

He was getting into dangerous territory not that the stimulant was wearing off. It wasn’t meant to work past eight hours max and Dean was pretty sure they were at the cut off, if not past it. 

 

“Ah, so you do remember me!” Raphael rejoiced with a malicious smile. “I’d say sorry for torturing and trying to kill you last time, but I’m not. If it weren’t for you and that gigantuan you call your brother, Heaven would have been miraculous and order would have been restored everywhere! But no, you two just had to go and corrupt our two crucial soldiers, two of the most powerful angels outside of myself and my other archangel brothers.”

 

“You fuckers got what you deserved! We would have ended you but you were such a Goddamn coward that you fled and went into hiding!” Dean snapped.

 

“And who does that remind you of?” Raphael challenged. “Perhaps a certain dim-witted, golden feathered ass of an archangel? What I did was for preservation of the cause. Someone had to be on the outside to restart the end of days.”

 

“You sick bastard!” 

 

“Dean, stick and stones will never break my bones and words certainly have no effect on me. You’ve got nothing little hunter. Besides, I’m sure your Daddy doesn’t approve of such naughty words.” Raphael mock chastised, walking to the table, picking up an iron poker and heating it with a lighter before pulling a cell phone from his pocket. “I’m going to have such fun tonight! Oh, and don’t bother praying to Daddy Cassie or Papa Gabe- they won’t hear you. I still have enough Grace, stolen and my own, to create a sort of signal blocking dome around us. Say nooooo!”

 

Dean growled and then shouted in pain, sweating beading up on his forehead as he began to scream while Raphael shoved the white-hot tool further into his diaphragm. 

 

“Close enough.” Raphael commented, reheating the poker a couple more times to stab into Dean’s hip and then his shoulder. “Oh, Castiel was so right when he said you had the voice of an angel. Your screams are certainly music to my ears. I think it’s time to step things up now that you’re all warmed up.”

 

Raphael laughed maniacally at his own joke, picking up a pair of pliers and turning to back to the Winchester tied down before him.

 

“I’ve heard that having one’s fingernails ripped out is one of the most painful methods of torture.” Raphael stated, walking around Dean and resting an arm on his shoulders. “Let’s see if that’s accurate shall we?”

 

Raphael walked back in front the man and started ripping the nails off Dean’s left hand. By the the second nail Dean was in tears and huffing in pain. By the fourth nail, he was positively sobbing and shouting. The fifth nail is what shattered him as he thoroughly wet the already bulky diaper taped around his waist. The devious angel just moved onto the other hand and plucked all five nails off before leaving the man be.

 

“Aw, is the baby hurt?” Raphael mock cooed, discarding the pliers and regarding the sight before him. “It’s no wonder Castiel put you back in diapers, you’re just an overgrown baby. Aren’t you, Dean?” 

 

“No, I’m not!” Dean spat through his tears, which really undercut his point.

 

“Well, if you’re not a baby, then you can take a little more torture, can’t you?” Raphael pressed.

 

“Bring it on, asshole!” Dean sniffled, trying to compose himself now that he had a bit of adrenaline to work with.

 

“If you insist,” Raphael accepted, feigning nonchalance as he took Ruby’s knife from the hunter. “I know it’s intended for demons, but I feel like it would add insult to injury to use it on its current owner.”

 

Dean regretted challenging the falling angel almost instantly. It was clear that he wasn’t about to stop and who knew when the bastard would be satisfied.

 

“Say aaaaahhh!” Raphael chimed, cutting the sigil of Azazel into the hunter’s right pectoral deep enough to graze the muscle beneath the dermis.

 

“Ggggrr! AAAAAAAAGGGHHH!” Dean screamed, gasping for breath as his vision grew dimmer.

 

“I know Azazel’s already wiped from existence, but this is still fun and it’s a reminder of  _ aaalllll _ your suffering thus far.” Raphael muttered, cutting into the hunter like he was carving a work of art into a lump of clay. “Oh, this is gonna looking beautiful when it’s finished.”

 

As Raphael finished the sigil, he moved on to the hunter’s rib cage, nicking bone as he carved the rune for angelic power into the soft tissues. Dean started seeing black as the blood continued to trickle and run out of the wounds. He was nearly out when something stabbed into his neck and made his veins burn as he jolted. That’s when he realized it was syringe with epinephrine (adrenaline) that had been jabbed into him.

 

“Wouldn’t want you missing out on all the fun, now would we?” Raphael chuckled, crudely stabbing Dean’s abdomen right next the burn on his hip.

 

After all that had been done to him, he finally broke and fully regressed. He was wailing at the top of his lungs and violently struggling as Raphael stabbed him once more, but in the thigh, which he repeated in the other thigh just for the Hell of it.

 

“S’mmy!” Dean wailed, choking on his own spit as tears and snot streamed down his face.

 

“That’s just precious.” Raphael commented, rolling his eyes with a cruel smirk. “Go ahead and get it all out of your system. I’m not stopping until you’re dead.” 

 

“Daaaahh-d-d-daaahhh!” Dean screeched, remembering that the angel had said to just call for him. “P-p-paaapaaahhehah!”

 

He was so desperate for anyone at this point. The angel smiled contentedly as he took Dean’s shin and snapped it- a clean break, at least- and then did the same to the other shin. Raphael dug through his bag and pulled out the salt. The son of a bitch was starting to sprinkle the substance into the baby’s wounds. It was so awful- it burned so bad! Dean continued to sob as Raphael dug through his bag again, this time pulling out the matches, gasoline, and Dean’s precious M1911A1, the most beautiful pistol in existence. That favored weapon was about to become a symbol of nightmares. Raphael sprinkled gasoline on the baby’s arms and legs- the chest and abdomen were too easy and obvious of a choice- and lit a match, letting it burn to his fingertips before flicking it at Dean. The clothing covered in the flammable liquid immediately caught fire and burned away the materials licking at the flesh. Once Dean had developed second degree burns, the corrupted angel put out the flames. He still had more to torturing to do so he gave the regressed man a smaller dose of adrenaline- if he overwhelmed the body with the stimulant he’d die so he had to be conservative on that front. Raphael took the pistol in hand and admired the weapon, turning it this and that way. He shot Dean in the left shoulder twice, barely leaving an inch between shots.

 

“I see why you love this gun so much,” Raphael purred. “The recoil is practically nonexistent and the trigger tension is so intoxicatingly perfect. This is an exquisite tool of destruction.”

 

He fired once more, intentionally grazing the Winchester’s throat on the left side. The hunter was officially down and out for the count. Abruptly, Raphael froze and his eyes went wide. He started choking as Grace and blood as it pumped and poured out of his mouth, the tip of an angel blade just barely poking through the fucker’s sternum. The blade was carelessly yanked out of the corpse and there stood the older Winchester’s savior with rainbow wings. Balthazar had a bad feeling after reporting back to God and noticing the distance with which the entity was regarding him. Something didn’t seem right so Balthazar flew himself to Fort Sumter and sensed the faltering Grace of another angel. He already knew Castiel and Gabriel were in Heaven because it’s all their siblings could talk about- the two oddballs finally coming home which didn’t make any sense to the other angels.  Balthazar took that as a sign that he needed to intervene and realized that Sam was managing just fine- frazzled and confused, but he wasn’t injured or anything- so he went looking for Dean and the source of the Grace. He knew it wasn’t coming from the Winchester because he hadn’t been put through the incubation and therefore was certainly not becoming an angel- yet. 

 

“Oh, Father… You poor little hunter,” Balthazar tsked, feeling awful that he inadvertently aided the fallen angel in harming the little prince. “Let’s get you and your brother out of here.”

 

The angel untied the older Winchester in time to be confronted by his younger brother.

 

“DEAN!” Sam shouted, terrified by the sight of his nearly dead sibling. “What the fuck happened? Who are you?!”

 

“Raphael wasn’t pleased that you two kept ruining his plans. He came after your brother first because he was naive enough to enter this bunker alone.” Balthazar explained. “I’m an angel and a friend of your angels. That’s all we have time to discuss. If you want to stay with your brother, you’ll come with me.”

 

Sam looked skeptical but approached anyway as the angel gently scooped Dean up into his arms. Knowing they needed to make contact to travel angel-style, Sam grabbed onto the angel. Once they landed back by the Impala, Sam called 911 and snapped each time he answered a question about what had happened and what they needed. Within what had to be record-breaking time, an ambulance showed up followed by two cop cars. As Sam held his brother in his lap, keeping pressure the where he could, he noticed the angel had disappeared and cops and paramedics were swarming them as hot tears ran down his face. He quickly explained that they had been attacked and that he was afraid his brother was about to die. The paramedics went to work getting Dean on a stretcher and hauling it into the ambulence.

 

“We’ll escort you to the hospital and look into this as soon as we can, Sam.” One of the officers assured him. “We may have to call upon you for further details.”

 

“Fine, whatever, just please, save him!” Sam snipply responded. 

Dean lie mangled on a gurney with Sam being held back by the police. The elder Winchester was bleeding profusely from the numerous wounds he sustained- everything from broken and fractured bones to deep stab wounds to multiple bullet holes. Dean was rushed to the Emergency Room of the closest hospital with Sam speeding after the ambulance in the beloved Chevy Impala with police escorts in front of and behind the classic car.  In Heaven, Gabriel and Castiel were age playing at the Archangel’s home. Castiel suddenly snapped back to his ‘adult’ frame of mind. The two angels swooped down to the hospital. Castiel sat by Dean’s bed while the Winchester was hooked up to life support. The angel was sobbing his heart out as the Archangel took Sam out of the room to console him. Castiel was gently clutching the comatose man’s hand.

“Don’t do this to me, Baby Bee…” The angel choked out. “I’ve nearly lost you too many times before, this can’t be the end…”

After a while, Castiel had calmed down enough to breathe a little easier. He comforted himself with the thought that Dean had been comatose before and came out of it stronger than before. But it was no use, he knew this time was different somehow. So he did the only thing he knew how to do to comfort Dean and himself.

“ _ Symphony of silver tears, Sing to me and sooth the ring in my ears, Overcast these gloomy nights wear on, But I'm holding fast because it's darkest just before the dawn. I sang my prince fast asleep, 'Cause he was my dream come true, Oh Baby Bee, believe me, I loved you. But now those lonely lullabies, Just dampen my tired eyes, Because I can't forget you. Because I can't forget you. _ ” Castiel sang, altering the lyrics to Owl City’s Lonely Lullaby to suit his baby boy. “ _ I'll dissolve when the rain pours in, When the nightmares take me, I will scream with the howling wind, 'Cause it's a bitter world and I'd rather dream. Dizzy love turned a star lily pink, And hung above our lids too flushed to blink, But icy blue froze the fairytale cold, Though I treasured you and you sparkled with someone to hold. _ ” 

Castiel dissolved into tears again. He startled when Gabriel and Sam came in, each putting a hand on one of Castiel’s shoulders. They each gave a reassuring squeeze and nodded. Both had faces pale with tears and grief.

Castiel resumed the song, but this time he had two more to sing with him, “ _ I sang my prince fast asleep, 'Cause he was my dream come true, Oh Baby Bee, believe me, I loved you. But now those lonely lullabies, Just dampen my tired eyes, Because I can't forget you. Because I can't forget you. I'll dissolve when the rain pours in, When the nightmares take me, I will scream with the howling wind, 'Cause it's a bitter world and I'd rather dream. I'll dissolve when the rain pours in, When the nightmares take me, I will scream with the howling wind, 'Cause it's a bitter world and I'd rather dream…. _ ” 

Gabriel and Sam tapered off, giving into tears as they embraced each other. Castiel nearly folded in on himself as a harsh sob ripped from his chest.

“ _ And I'd rather dream… Baby Bee, I'll never forget you. _ ” Castiel sobbed, no longer trying to hold a melody. “ _ Baby Bee, I'll never forget you…. Baby Bee, remember me? I'll never forget you…. _ ”

Castiel gave up on words, too grief stricken as he realized that he couldn’t do anything to save his baby. It was his fault… It was always his fault.

“Castiel, it is not your fault.” An all too familiar voice spoke up.

“Father?” Castiel sniffled, struggling to breathe.

“That’s right, little seraph.” Chuck Shurley, also known as God, confirmed. “Gabriel, Sam, I need you two to guard the door.

The archangel and his human were shocked and confused, but did as they were told. They stepped out into the hall, closed the door, and stood in front of it as Gabriel soothed Sam as best he could. Inside the room Chuck couldn’t have looked more guilty if he tried.

“This one is on me, Castiel. It’s my fault that Dean is lying here like this.” Chuck confessed, holding eye contact with the happiest accident he’d ever created. “I’m the one who sent them there, knowing full well who they were supposed to face. The thing that I hadn’t anticipated was how strong he still was.”

“Who?!” Castiel demanded, looking so broken that even God’s heart faltered. 

“Raphael. He sought to eliminate them. I thought the boys would be able to handle it if they were ready to hunt.” Chuck answered.

“They’re only human, Father! They cannot fight angels!” Castiel nearly shouted. “What did you think would happen?!”

“He was supposed to have fallen and without his Grace, they should have been able to kill him with Ruby’s knife or the Colt. The problem was that he’d stolen Grace from your siblings.” Chuck clarified. “I am sorry. I deeply apologize for putting him in danger.”

“That’s not enough…” Castiel shuddered. “You can’t just kill your own Mortal Prince of Heaven and my soul mate and get off with just an apology!”

“I know, that’s why I’m going to help you save him.” Chuck added, approaching the bed. “I’ve already taken care of the police. It’s as if they were never called so there won’t be any questions about what they were doing or where they were when it happened.”

Dean was covered in cuts, bruises, stitches, bandages and had casts on both his legs. He had undergone two blood transfusions and was still eerily pale. He was hooked up to a ventilator which was assisting his lungs. The doctors had patched up his diaphragm as best they could. They were all amazed that Dean was even still alive. Chuck looked to his seraph son and nodded. 

His eyes rolled back into his skull and when they regained position, it was like the universe was staring down at Dean as the vessel emanated with otherworldly light. He healed the burns, the cuts on his chest and abdomen, the bullet wounds, and the broken bones. The ones He didn’t heal were the stab wounds to Dean’s thighs, but it was part of His plan to help His son and His Prince. He also didn’t bother with the man’s fingers- the nails would grow back just fine. The casts fell away and the ventilator was removed. Dean was still passed out for the time being, but he was certainly looking much better already. God took an empty syringe and His son’s arm. He stabbed the sterile needle into Castiel’s arm and pulled the stopper until it was full of the shimmering, translucent silver substance. He then injected the Grace straight into Dean’s bloodstream. After repeating the process two more times, God retreated and Chuck stood before them once again.

“You should take him home when he wakes up. He’s going to be extremely fussy and clingy for next month or so.” Chuck advised with a gentle smile as he ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. “I know I don’t have to tell you to take care of him, but try to enjoy this time with him. He also needs a change, Castiel.”

Castiel had stood there stunned the whole time, unsure of what Father was trying to accomplish with his Grace. As his Creator departed, he snapped back to himself and got to work changing his baby. It wouldn’t do to have Dean wake up in a soiled diaper. The seraph cleaned the bed of the casts and ventilator and removed the IV, healing the small bruise that was attempting to form. He dressed his baby in a pale blue onesie with clouds and little sparrows scattered on it. Gabriel and Sam rushed into the room as Dean started crying.

“Oh Dean! My Baby Bee!” Castiel cried, taking his boy into his arms, being careful of his bandaged hands and thighs.

“Dean!” Sam cheered, gently but tightly hugging both his brother and the seraph. “Thank God, you’re alive!”

Gabriel joined in on the group hug, kissing Sam’s temple as tears of joy graced the faces of the trio once Dean had calmed down. The baby was much more content as he was surrounded by his family. He laid his head on his Daddy’s chest, lifting his hand to stuff his thumb in his mouth, only to be intercepted by a pacifier gently maneuvered in place by Daddy. That was okay though. His pacifier was much better ‘cause it didn’t hurt if he sucked on it too long or if he bit down on it. The baby noticed he was in a fresh diaper which was good because he liked the feeling of the soft, bulky material. It helped him relax and made him feel like he was being taken care of to have the babyish garment hugging his privates and bum. He felt so little and just wanted to be held, kissed, rocked, and sang to. He hoped Daddy would sing him something new. He liked Daddy’s voice- the rough but velvety sound, the reverberations the caused a pleasant feeling rumble through his chest, and even the smell of his minty fresh breath with each word spoken. Dean settled into a rhythm with his soother, his arms bent at the elbow and hands resting on either side of his torso, legs dangling comfortable against Daddy’s hips, and Daddy’s hands cradling his bum and the back of his head as they all said how they they were that he was okay. Dean hoped that this cuddle session would last forever...


	17. How To Raise Your Soul Mate: Part 1

_ August 2011 _

Chuck had kept his promise and none of the hospital staff harassed them. They all acted like Dean had been there for something much more minor than the nearly fatal wounds he was admitted with. The nurses were cooing at Castiel’s baby boy and wishing them a safe trip home as they left. Gabriel got behind the wheel of the Impala with Sam in the passenger seat while Castiel tucked his sleeping baby into his carseat in the middle and sat behind Sam. The younger Winchester passed out on the ride back to Castiel’s, which was when Gabriel asked about what their Father had said and done.

“He admitted it was his fault. He promised to make it up to me, which I suppose he did by healing Dean.” Castiel explained. “What I don’t understand is what he needed so much of my Grace for?”

Gabriel was silent and had a look of deep concentration on his face. The Archangel had his suspicions, but he wasn’t sure. He was debating whether it was wise to tell the little seraph his thoughts or not. On the one hand, it might bring the younger angel some comfort. Then again, it might not and could make him even more upset, which they certainly didn’t need when they weren’t sure the extent of the damage from this close call. No, he supposed it was best to keep it to himself. As he glanced Castiel in the rearview mirror, he fully comprehended what his brother had said. Something was off about what their Father did, or rather failed to do.

“You said Dad healed him, right?” Gabriel asked.

“Yeah, he mended Dean’s broken bones, the burns on his thighs and arms, the cuts on his chest and abdomen…” Castiel listed off, something clicking in his head.

“Why didn’t He heal Dean’s fingernails or the ridiculously deep stab wounds on his thighs?” Gabriel posed, knowing they were on the same page.

“I don’t know but I sure would like to…” Castiel sighed. “I wish that I could finish the job, but I feel so drained… I have no idea how much Grace He actually took from me. I was too dazed at the time. I’m definitely starting to feel it now.”

“You should go back to Heaven and replenish, Cassie.” Gabriel suggested.

“No. I’m not leaving until he’s recovered. Maybe not even then.” Castiel shot down, running his fingers through his baby’s sandy locks. “I can’t leave him when he needs me more than ever.”

“I hear ya. I’m not going to force you, but at least consider it after he’s back to normal.”

The rest of the drive was relatively quiet since Castiel took to meditating in order to connect with Heaven so he could restore at least some amount of his depleted Grace. He was one of the highest ranked angels and therefore had a larger quantity of Grace at his disposal, but whatever God did to him, it was inhibiting his ability to properly replenish it. Both angels were relieved when Gabriel pulled the Impala into the driveway. It had been a long night for everyone and Castiel was sure the worst hadn’t even come to pass. He wasn’t sure what state Dean would be in for however long it took to recover, but it was very possible that he would be regressed for most of it. He most certainly was for now if his whine as he awoke was anything to go by.

“Dada…” Dean fussed around his pacifier.

“Shhh, it’s alright, Angel.” Castiel soothed, unbuckling his baby from the rear-facing safety seat. “We’ll go inside and start getting ready for bed.”

The seraph didn’t miss the peculiar look that crossed his brother’s face upon the utterance of the endearment. He would have to wait until the boys were asleep to ask Gabriel what he meant by his reaction. Castiel hoisted his baby from the seat and carried him up to the house, pulling his keys from his pants pocket and grimacing as he remembered what he was wearing underneath. Gabriel wanted him to be a cherub again when they were age playing so Castiel wore a diaper like any baby would. Unfortunately, he hadn’t had time to change out of the garment and still needed to do so in order to keep his regression with Gabriel and his parenting of Dean separate. Castiel shook his head and unlocked the door, allowing his brother and the younger Winchester to come inside as well.

“Where do you want Sammy and me to sleep, Cassie?” Gabriel questioned as he shut the door behind Sam.

“You don’t have to stay, Gabriel. I know tonight has been rough and exhausting for all of us.” Castiel assured, them feeling awful. If he’d just had a spine and said no to letting them go, they wouldn’t be in this mess but he was still Father’s good little soldier and offered his boy up to the fresh Hell that he just experienced.

“Cas, I’m not going anywhere until I know my brother really is okay and you both are settled in again.” Sam stated with an arm around Gabriel’s waist as he cuddled closer to his angel.

“I understand. You two can take your pick of the guest rooms. There’s one through the door there with an attached bathroom,” Castiel submitted, nodding to the wall behind the entertainment unit that separated the living room from the guest room. “There’s two more down in the basement along with a family entertainment room, bathroom, storage room, and there’s a little nook under the stairs that has been converted to a nesting library with a cushy settee and everything.”

“We’ll stay in the Fall room.” Gabriel told him. “I’m sure my nerd will be holed up in the library.  I’d rather not have you pulling me by the wing to scold me about Bigfoot waking the baby.”

“As you wish.” Castiel agreed, kissing his sleepy baby’s forehead as they swayed from side to side. “I’m going to get Dean ready for bed and then we’ll both retire.”

“Sammy, you wanna give your brother hugs and kisses before he goes to bed?” Gabriel pushed, nudging his boyfriend.

“I don’t know… It’s still weird seeing him like this when it’s always been the other way around in the past…” Sam hesitated, startling as the archangel practically dragged him over to Castiel and Dean by the stairs.

“Come on, Sammy. He’s your brother and he very obviously needs the affection after what he went through.” Gabriel insisted. “Hugs and kisses.”

Sam flushed something fierce as he looked from his archangel to his brother, who was half-asleep in Castiel’s arms. Dean really was kinda cute and he looked so broken… The younger Winchester thought he would do anything to make that look go away. But would he baby his brother if that’s what would fix it? It’s not like they had a normal brotherly relationship anyway, especially not in the eyes of the general public since ‘Chuck Shurley’ had published books about their lives and suddenly incest wasn’t such a bad idea in the minds of the masses. It was still not okay in Sam’s book, but he knew he couldn’t change their idealizations. So what was one more thing to add to the list of differences between them and normal people?

“Goodnight, Dean.” Sam said as he awkwardly hugged and kissed his brother.

“S’mmy…” Dean cooed softly, small smile gracing his lips from behind the plastic guard of the pacifier. “Wuv you…”

Sam stood there dumbly before he quickly recovered and responded, “I love you too, Dude.”

“Say nigh-night to Sammy, Bee.” Castiel encouraged with an affectionate smile. “Does Papa want to give hugs and kisses, too?”

“What do you take me for, Cassie? Of course I want my hugs and kisses!” Gabriel mock defended, pretending to feel hurt. “Gimme my grandbaby, Mister.”

Castiel chuckled and let Gabriel take the baby from him. Gabriel was ever so slightly smaller than his little brother but he managed to hold the infantile hunter just fine. He blew raspberries onto the baby’s cheek and laughed as Dean squealed with joy, the Grace making the boy’s voice sound more childish. Castiel gave his brother joking dirty look as the archangel wound his baby up.

“Night-night, Babes.” Gabriel grinned, rubbing his nose against Dean’s before kissing it. “Get some sleep and we’ll play more tomorrow.”

Dean was all smiles and giggles as he was handed back to Daddy. In the back of his mind, he realized that this was what had been missing all those years. Sure, he’d had Sammy and sometimes Bobby when they had time to see him and that was great, but now he had a big family that loved him and would do anything for him. He hummed happily as Daddy took him upstairs to the nursery-  _ his _ nursery. He reached out for Cassie the kitten as he spotted her in his crib with his blankie. He was going to make the most of this time because once it was over, Dean was sure he’d be ready to age up for good. It was nice being taken care of but he still had adult things he wanted to do, like take Cas on a date and see if they could be more than what they already were. But that was a thought and plan for after he recovered.

“Do you want something from your crib, Baby?” Castiel wondered with a distracted hum. “Maybe one of your stuffed friends? Or your blankie?”

They approached the crib and Dean reached towards his favorite giant stuffed cat. He giggled as Daddy would slowly lean him down and then snatch him back up before he could grab Cassie. It was pretty fun game, but it quickly grew old as the baby started to feel the exhaustion set in. He whined and fussed when Daddy snatched him back up once more. Thankfully, his angel took the hint and handed the plush and blanket over. Castiel set him on the plush rug to entertain himself while the angel went to the dresser to grab the changing supplies and a pair of super soft socks. Dean didn’t appreciate being left behind, though. 

With a lot of effort, he managed to shift onto his knees and bandaged hands. From there, he managed to push himself up so his feet were firmly on the floor and pushed against the floor with his hands. Dean quickly realized this was a mistake as he started wailing and sweating profusely from the pain, his paci hitting the floor just before he face-planted it himself. It turned out the bandages on his thighs weren’t for superficial wounds. He couldn’t walk. Raphael must’ve severed his tendons, rendering him unable to even stand. Castiel shouted in shock and terror as he ran over to Dean and scooped his baby up into his arms. Dean was crying so hard that he was drooling, with snot pouring from his nose and tears running down his face like streams as his face turned an angry red. The seraph could hear Gabriel and Sam dashing up the stairs to find out what happened.

“Shhh, my Sweet Baby Angel… My Cherub…” Castiel soothed, tears running down his face. “Daddy’s here, Honey Bee. It’s okay. We’re alright. Daddy’s gonna make it all better.”

Castiel placed two fingers to Dean’s forehead and extended his Grace to soothe the pain, but it didn’t seem to work as his baby continued to scream his unhappiness. Gabriel and Sam joined them, their hearts breaking as they took in the sight. Castiel turned to his Daddy with a terrified, lost look and a silent plea for help.

“Baby, tell me what happened.” Gabriel instructed, approaching and rubbing Castiel’s back with his free hand while he held his human close with the other arm.

“I set him down to play with Cassie the kitten and his blankie. I turned away to get… get the- the changing supplies… He tried to stand and walk and… and…” Castiel cried, damn near hyperventilating with guilt and worry. “His legs… Oh, Father, his legs don’t work! The pain… I can’t make it go away! WHAT KIND OF DADDY CAN’T HELP HIS BABY?!”

Castiel was sobbing by the time he finished and Gabriel had let go of Sam in order to better embrace his baby and grandbaby. As he tried to calm Cassie down, they heard the doorbell ring several times. After exchanging looks with Gabriel, Sam decided to go check and see who it was with his pistol at the ready. When Sam reached the front door, he peered around the stained glass paneled frame surrounding the oak door. He saw a man who looked like he stepped straight off the stage of a Sex Pistols concert with a black leather jacket, deep v-neck black shirt, skinny jeans, and military boots. Sam cautiously opened the door with the pistol expertly trained on the man.

“Hate to spoil the fun there, Boy, but that ain’t gonna work on an angel. It’ll hurt like a bitch, but not for long.” The man greeted, stepping past the Winchester into the house. “I’m here to see my brothers and the wee babe they’re carin’ for.”

“How do you know about him?” Sam questioned.

“I’m an angel and they’re my brothers. I was here before, but you didn’t give a damn. Just tappin’ away on that cell of yours.” He supplied, amused by the human’s edginess. “Ya gonna shut the door or ya gonna let the bugs in?”

Sam quickly closed the door, unsure of whether it was safe to relax or not. He was kind of smarmy just like Crowley, but something was different with this supposed angel.

“You can put the gun down, Babe.” Gabriel called as he escorted a much calmer Castiel with a still screaming Dean downstairs. “It’s just Bal. He’s an ass but he wouldn’t do anything to screw us over.” 

“I’d say that was mean, but it doesn’t bother me.” Balthazar chuckled, his humor lessening as he caught sight of his gasping, shaking baby brother and Heaven’s baby. “Oh, Cassie, Love…”

The rainbow winged angel felt his heart break at the sight of his former love and the human in his arms. He had a lot to make up for after leading those boys straight into Raphael’s trap. He wasn’t sure what Castiel thought of him now that he knew what Balthazar had unwittingly unleashed upon the little prince.

“Bal?” Castiel sniffled, one hand cradling the wailing human’s head to his shoulder. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to apologize.” Balthazar answered. “I’m so sorry, Cassie. If I’d known what Dad was planning, I never would’ve delivered that message. I woulda taken Raphael on myself. I hope you can forgive me someday, but I understand if you can’t.”

“I do forgive you, Bal. You didn’t know Father’s plan.” Castiel reassured his big brother.

“Well, this actually worked out quite conveniently.” Gabriel commented, looking between everyone as he ran his hand through Dean’s baby-soft locks. They all looked at him in confusion. “Sammy, you and I need to run a few errands to pick up somethings for Dean and Cassie.”

“Right…” Sam hesitantly agreed.

“Keep them company and keep them safe or you know what will happen to you.” Gabriel ordered his ostentatious brother.

“Drain my Grace and hope to cease to exist.” Balthazar assured Gabriel. “I won’t let anything happen to either of them if I can help it.”

“Good.” Gabriel nodded. “Let’s get going, Sammy.”

With that the archangel took off with his human mate. Balthazar accompanied Castiel and Dean to the living room. Castiel and Balthazar sat at separate ends of the couch so they could still look at each other. The seraph sat with his back against the pillows leaned against the armrest with his feet up on the cushions between him and Balthazar with Dean turned sideways so his back was against the back of the couch and Castiel’s left arm. The baby was no longer screaming, but the tears were still pouring down his tomato colored face while the bandages on his thighs turned a dark ruby color from the blood. The older angel copied his brother’s position after popping his boots off, admiring the black pleather material. 

“I know you feel awful, all of us do.” Castiel stated, cradling the baby in his arms. “It wasn’t your fault, it was Father’s. I’m just relieved I still have my Dean. I don’t know how he got away or who got them to safety, but I’m grateful all the same.”

“Would you believe that I felt so awful that I turned back and intervened?” Balthazar pondered aloud, connecting with his brother the share the memory of spearing Raphael and taking the baby back to shore.

“Oh, Bal! Thank you!” Castiel breathed, sincerely grateful. “I wouldn’t have made it if he had died. I owe you and one day I will pay you back.”

“No, Love, you don’t owe me. If you want to do something for me, though,” Balthazar paused, unsure of whether he should really request what he wanted so soon. 

“What, Bal? Just ask.”

“I want to be able to see your Little Prince. After all, he’s family.” Balthazar sheepishly requested. “He’ll be one of us before long if Dad has anything to say about it.”

“What? What do you mean? What is He planning this time?” Castiel interrogated.

“I shouldna said that…” Balthazar flinched, realizing his brother didn’t know what their Father had done.

"You have to tell me, Balthazar. I need to know what he plans to do to my soul mate, to my baby..."

“He wants Dean to become an angel…”

The younger angel's heartbeat sped up, his mind was far away and hazy, his hands were trembling and he had the worst case of cotton mouth. Castiel couldn’t believe what he just heard. Father was plotting behind all their backs to make new angels out of his and Gabriel’s soulmates. The seraph knew their Father and his tendency to not share things, but this was a new level of treachery by the Creator. The nephilim transformation could kill Dean and Sam and God knew this but He was willing to risk it regardless. He knew that it should have been flattering that his human and Gabriel's were chosen for such a privilege as to become that close to the Creator of All, but the risks far outweighed the benefits in Castiel's mind. It was supposed to be an act of kindness, of love...

What kind of God loves like this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you know Florence and the Machine, you will recognize that the very last line of this chapter is a play on one of their songs, "What Kind of Man."
> 
> Fun Facts!  
> Affections,  
> Liz


	18. God and His Plans: Part 1

“Want is the understatement of the year.” Castiel responded flatly, noticing the blood soaking the bandages. “What am I supposed to do if my Grace can’t help him?”

“Your Grace isn’t influencing him anymore?” Balthazar clarified, a carefully composed look on his face.

“Normally, I can just touch his forehead and then he’s perfectly fine,” Castiel answered, wrapping his wings around his baby. “But since we got back from the hospital… It just doesn’t work. Just look.”

Castiel placed two fingers to Dean’s forehead and focused his still diminished Grace on the baby’s soul. As Balthazar watched, his suspicions were confirmed. He leaned forward with a hand outstretched and looked to Castiel for permission to try doing so himself. His former lover warily nodded so the the Brit touched the little hunter’s forehead himself and used his Grace to clean the bandages and reweave the stitches. As he did so, the baby cried out and began to wail once more. The older angel felt awful, but he was relieved that Dean wasn’t bleeding anymore.

“What happened?” Castiel demanded, trying his best to coax the infantile in his arms.

“My Grace works, but it causes a lot of pain because I’m not his Ministering Angel or Celestial Architect. In any case, I can only do minor repairs without being bonded. If you ever consider it, there is a way to bond him to other angels so that he has secondaries to fall back on.” Balthazar explained, smoothing the baby’s hair in slow, soothing movements.

“No. I won’t do that. Dean needs  _ me _ and I  _ will _ be here for him every second of the day and night.” Castiel insisted, fluffing his wings and shivering in surprise as Dean took to sucking on a primary with hot tears still running down his cheeks.

“I understand, but keep it in mind. If something happens to you, Dean will die and I know you don’t want that and, yes, I know you wouldn’t let anything happen to yourself if it would negatively affect your baby.”

After a bit, Dean was asleep and much more content than before. The pain had subsided and the newly ingested Grace had pushed him further into his headspace. He was exhausted from all the pain and emotion so the moment sleep whispered sweet dreams to him, he welcomed the memories and visions of his desires playing out before his eyes. Balthazar locked eyes with Castiel. The seraph knew there were things they needed to discuss because his brother clearly knew more about God’s plans than he did. Just as the young angel was about to ask his brother to explain all that he knew, the front door bursted open.

“Shit…” Gabriel grimaced, realizing he’d overdone it as he caught his baby’s glare.

Dean awoke in a fit of tears, unhappy to be awoken mere minutes after falling into a deep sleep. His cries were heart breaking and sounded like those of an actual infant. The older Winchester had consumed enough Grace to leave him truly infantile in every way except physically, which both thrilled and terrified his- what had Balthazar called him? A Celestial Architect and Ministering Angel? The second was just the proper term for a guardian angel but Castiel had never heard the first before.

“De, Sweet Bee, it’s okay. It’s just Papa and Sammy.” Castiel soothed, further encompassing his baby in his miniature maps of the universe. “Sh, be still, Bitty Bee.”

After numerous repetitions of comforting phrases and rocking, not to mention a bit more nursing, Dean finally settled down. Castiel could see he was tired, but it didn’t look like the baby would be able to fall asleep any time soon.  He stared Gabriel and Sam down as they set the bags down and the latter went to close the front door with much more care.

“Where did you go and why were you so loud coming in when you know it’s far past Dean’s bedtime?” Castiel interrogated.

“We went to pick up supplies and a couple surprises for Dean.” Gabriel explained, purposely leaving out the talk that he had with Sam about his thoughts on what’s happening to Dean. “Feast your eyes on the kids’ movies that Sammy and I picked up.”

Sam emptied one of the bags to reveal a sizeable stack of animated children’s films that included  _ Cars, Cars 2, How to Train Your Dragon, Winnie the Pooh, Rio, Rango, Alpha and Omega, Despicable Me, Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole, the Toy Story trilogy, Up, Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, Megamind,  _ and  _ A Turtle’s Tale: Sammy’s Adventures _ \- which Gabriel demanded they get because he was sure Dean would get a kick out of the name of the turtle that the movie revolved around.

“I am grateful for your contribution to entertaining my baby, but if you truly wish to be of assistance, keep quiet so that he can sleep.” Castiel politely responds. “Also, we need to find Father because I am not in agreement with his plan for Dean and am struggling to care for him with my Grace stunted.”

“Cassie, I’ll take care of that. I know all of Dad’s haunts.” Balthazar promised. “Besides, it won’t be the first time I’ve tied the old man up. I’ll be in touch. Farewell!”

And just like that, the Brit was gone.

“Hey, we were punk-ass kids back then. That was different.” Gabriel qualified as Sam shot him an incredulous look. “So, what should we watch in the meantime? I heard  _ Alpha and Omega  _ is supposed to be a favorite for kids of all ages.”

“I trust your judgment on the matter. I’m going to make him a bottle.” Castiel replied.

“Nope. You stay right there, Cassie. Sam and I will take care of everything.” Gabriel assured him, snapping his fingers.

Just like that, Castiel was out of his clothes, including his diaper, from before and in a pair of soft pajama pants with a solid color t-shirt. Dean jumped a bit at the change, having been distracted with rubbing Cassie’s tail against his cheek. Sam set up the movie, keeping the volume just loud enough to hear but quiet enough that they’d be able to fall asleep, and took a seat in the Cuddler, a gliding reclining chair that was meant for couples, while Gabriel made a meal replacement shake, put it into a bottle, and tossed it in the warmer. By the time the opening credits were rolling, Dean was nursing his bottle and cuddling with Daddy, who was ready with a burp cloth, with Gabriel and Sam snuggled in the plush, two-person recliner. Castiel didn’t pay the film any mind since he was more concerned with his baby’s well-being. His baby finished the bottle about a third of the way into the film and was gently burped before being settled back into his little niche in Daddy’s lap.

“So, does he like it so far?” Gabriel whispered, not wanting to distract his Sammy from the movie since the boy was definitely enjoying it.

“I’m not sure. He hasn’t really been paying attention to it.” Castiel answered, running his tongue over the teat of Dean’s pacifier to disinfect it before slipping it into the the baby’s mouth. “When he nurses, whether from a primary or his bottle, that’s usually bonding time where he prefers to connect his soul to my Grace and tends to meet my gaze.”

They quickly get their answer to Dean’s opinion of the movie as he starts wailing his displeasure. The adult hiding in the back of his mind finally registered that movie was about wolves and that sent it reeling all the way back to his capture by the Hellhounds and being dragged down to Hell. Gabriel quickly pauses the movie and shuts the TV off. The archangel sits helplessly by, holding Sam in his lap, while Castiel gets to his feet and walks in slow, steady laps around the living room, bouncing the baby all the while.

“I know, Sweet Bee. Daddy’s going to sing you a song that Papa used to sing to him when he was a baby.” Castiel cooed, kissing his sobbing baby’s forehead. “ Your eyes, they tie me down so hard. I'll never learn to put up a guard. So keep my love, my candle bright. Learn me hard oh, learn me right. This ain't no sham. I am what I am. Though I may speak, some tongue of old Or even spit out some holy word. I have no strength from which to speak When you shoot me down and see I'm weak. We will run and scream. You will dance with me. They'll fulfill our dreams And we'll be free And we will be who we are And they'll heal our scars. Sadness will be far away. So as we walked Through fields of green, It was the fairest sun I'd ever seen. And I was broke, I was on my knees. You said yes as I said please.”

Castiel poked his Daddy with his Grace to get him to sing along.

 

“This ain't no sham. I am what I am. I'll leave no time For a cynic's mind.” Gabriel joined in. “We will run and scream. You will dance with me. Fulfill our dreams And we'll be free. We will be who we are And they'll heal our scars. Sadness will be far away. Do not let my fickle flesh go to waste As it keeps my heart and soul in its place. And I will love with urgency But not with haste.”

 

Dean was completely worn out by the time the song was over. It felt so nice to be held against his Daddy’s strong, slim chest, to hear his velvety voice, and inhale his rainy meadow musk. It was a recipe for sleep, which is all he wanted in the first place. He adjusted his grip on Cassie and looked for his paci, pleased when Daddy had it ready for him. He had such a good Daddy. Daddy always knew what he wanted and needed. He always made everything all better. Dean yawned and let his eyes slam shut, clinging to Daddy as sleep cradled him in its hold.

 

“I’m going to get him changed for bed and then we’re retiring without delay.” Castiel informed the cuddle bugs in the recliner as he gently hitched Dean up a bit higher on his hip. “Goodnight, Sam. Goodnight, Dad.”

 

“Night, Babes.” Gabriel smiled affectionately. “Make sure you meditate while he’s asleep.”

 

“Night, Cas.” Sam yawned, snuggling further into his archangel.

 

Castiel then departed with his sleeping infantile hunter to their rooms upstairs. Gabriel stretched and got up from the armchair. He was ready to preen and pass out. As he extended his arms for his Winchester, he saw it. There was the sad puppy dog face and teary eyes of his little boy. Something was upsetting him and if the archangel didn’t fix it soon, he’d have his own sobbing baby on his hands.

 

“What’s the matter, my Little Sammy Lamby?” Gabriel inquired in the soft, placating tone reserved for his little boy. “Tell Daddy.”

 

“Wolfy…” Sam sniffled, looking longingly at the dead TV screen.

 

“Sammy, it’s nigh-night time.” Gabriel reminded the boy. “We need to go to sleep. Uncle Cas is gonna need help with the baby until they’re both all better.”

 

Sammy didn’t say anything, but the lip quiver of impending doom spoke volumes. It absolutely broke the archangel’s heart because it was such a simple request and it would probably help him get the boy to sleep. At the same time, it was way past time for Sam to be in bed and he was afraid the baby would wake up to the sound of the TV, which would upset his Cassie and then they’d all be in sore shape. There was only one way that would work in everyone’s favor.

 

“Sammy Lamby, come with Daddy to get dressed for bed. If you’re a good boy, we’ll put  _ Alpha and Omega _ on in our room while we have a cuddle.” Gabriel compromised, reaching out for his baby once more.

 

“Okay, Daddy.” Sam agreed, mirroring the angel’s gesture.

 

Gabriel picked his tired boy up and hauled him downstairs. Sam wasn’t an infantile like Dean, but he was pretty close sitting around the age of a toddler. To be safe, Gabriel went ahead and dressed his boy in a diaper and a pair of plain dark purple footed pajamas. After getting Sam’s paci, they ran back upstairs to grab the DVD. Once everything was settled, Gabriel and his Little Sammy Lamby cuddled up under the covers in the Fall room. Barely three-fourths of the way through the movie, Sam was out like a light. Gabriel decided to just let the film finish out and set a timer on the TV for an hour. It would shut off on its own and Gabriel would be able to say that the movie played all the way through when there would be no place to pick up if they hit play to start it back up. The archangel fell asleep thinking about the things he needed to talk to Castiel about, mostly why he suddenly needed to see God.

 

==>

 

_ Last Week of August, 2011 _

 

It had been a couple weeks since Raphael had tried to kill Dean. Gabriel and Sam had stayed for those weeks, trying to help Castiel in any way they could. But there was only so much they could do for an injured baby who wanted nothing and no one other than Daddy, so they went home. Sam needed one on one time with his boyfriend and the feeling was mutual on the archangel’s end. They both loved Dean, but when you have other needs and can’t compete with his Daddy, you have to do what you can. Much to the baby’s dismay, Sammy ended up adopting a dog. It was a labradoodle the size of a pony called Charlie. Castiel didn’t seem to care for the canine much more than Dean, though he never said anything to that effect.

 

It was the middle of the last week of August when Gabriel called to tell his boy that he and Sammy were coming for a visit with a surprise for the baby. They said they would come after lunch so they only had a couple hours to get dressed and eat before the duo would arrive. Castiel knew they would have come earlier, but he had asked them to pick up more diapers for Dean. The angel hadn’t anticipated just how many his baby would go through in such a short time. To be fair, he also hadn’t anticipated that Dean would be in a constant infantile regression.

 

“Sammy and Papa Gabe will be here soon.” Castiel narrated as he taped a clean diaper onto his freshly bathed boy, pausing in alarm at the redness all over the baby’s back. “Daddy might need to try a different body wash for you, Baby Bee… It looks like you have a rash…”

 

The rash in question looked as if it was also bruising in some places, evidenced by small blackish-bluish splotches, as Castiel shifted Dean to lay on his tummy on the changing table, which the boy whined at. The little hunter had been staring off at the arch of toys that Daddy hung over his pad. As an infant, he was much more spacey and curious. The seraph could tell that Dean was genuinely restricted in his functions and thoughts since he nursed Grace at least twice a day. They had discovered that only the ingestion of Grace would soothe any pain the baby had, which didn’t escape Castiel’s scrutiny since it supported the idea that Dean was intended to become an angel. Castiel quickly took the baby into his arms as he started to cry. Laying on his tummy was the bane of his existence these days, thanks to the gashes on his thighs.

 

“I know, Bad Daddy! Bad Daddy for making you have a bit of tummy time.” Castiel sympathized, kissing Dean’s temple as the little one sucked on his ‘mute button’ pacifier. “Let’s get dressed and go get some lunch.”

 

Castiel ended up dressing his boy in a pair of soft, brown jersey cotton cotton footie pajamas that had little trees all over them. The bandages on his legs were freshly wrapped so they wouldn’t have to worry about them until bedtime, when they’d cuddle and read a story while the stitched up gashes aired out a bit. Dean had to wear mittens up until recently thanks to his nearly grown back nails, which only healed at the rate they did from the Grace consumed. They were almost to his fingertips now and it was safe to negate the mittens from there on out. His little man had been so frustrated with those damn things that he’d thrown a couple fits. When they finally came off at the beginning of the week, Dean had been so giggly and loving towards his Daddy since he had liberated the baby’s hands from their cloth prisons. Castiel would never forget that day- he nearly died of laughter at Dean’s squeal of joy.

 

Castiel kept Dean on his bed with Cassie the kitten while he changed into a black pair of soft, stretchable jeans and a gray scoop neck tee with a navy cardigan (leave it to Castiel to dress like an Abercrombie & Fitch model). He carried Dean downstairs and strapped him into the adapted baby bouncer just outside the kitchen. The baby would be able to see him the whole time and he wouldn’t have to worry about his little one getting hurt while he cooked. Dean sucked on his pacifier as he stared blankly at the colorful toys hanging above him, his feet kicking out sporadically and making the seat bounce. Castiel smiled and pushed up the sleeves on his cardigan to just above his elbows. He looked about the kitchen for a few minutes before settling on BLTs with potato chips and raw baby carrots. He set to work, singing various songs by Bastille and peeking over at his baby every once in awhile. Knowing his baby wasn’t big enough to eat a normal sized sandwich, he used two slices of French bread  cut into fourths and made bite-size BLTs for Dean with a handful each of chips and baby carrots. He also filled a bottle with milk and just a bit of Grace, which he extracted from a loose primary feather. Gabriel had taught him how get the substance out of the feather since Castiel’s wings were getting a bit sore from holding the nursing position for so long each time. 

 

“Just a minute, Grumble Bee.” Castiel chuckled with a fond smile as he swore he heard Dean’s tummy growl something fierce as the baby fussed. “Daddy’s got it all set to go and coming to get you.”

 

Daddy creeped over to the bouncer like a cat on the hunt and mercilessly tickled his baby boy. Little Dean shrieked with joy as he spastically flailed his limbs and drooled all down his chin with his pacifier in his lap. Daddy was silly and he loved it! He didn’t know what was going on most of the time with how little he was, but he did know that Daddy always made sure everything was okay and better. 

 

“Okay, lunchtime, Bug.” Castiel grinned, unstrapping his baby and carrying him to his high chair. The angel strapped the baby in and popped the tray on. “Daddy made BLTs today. We even have chips and baby carrots. The perfect little lunch for my perfect little baby.” 

 

Dean cooed as Daddy fed him a bite of sandwich as he turned his head to look out the glass paneled wall at the beautiful garden that encompassed the entire backyard which cut into the mountain. They had a tiny natural waterfall in the garden that attracted all sorts of wildlife- everything from birds to foxes and bobcats, the latter of which terrified the life out of the angel when he almost carried his baby out to be met with a baby bobcat. Today there were two tiny fox kits that were chasing each other to the waterfall. Daddy’s eyes went wide when Dean looked back as he fed him a baby carrot. The baby giggled and accepted another baby carrot that was imitating a train, noises and all. Daddy sure did know how to make lunch less boring!

 

Once lunch was over, Dean was strapped back into his bouncer with Cassie while Castiel washed the dishes. It was around 2 pm when Castiel finished the dishes in time to scoop his baby, plush cat and all, up into his arms and answer the door as the bell sounded. The seraph welcomed Gabriel and Sam into the house, each carrying a couple sizeable boxes of baby-print adult diapers.

 

“Hey, Cas!” Sam cheerily greeted, obviously excited about whatever surprise they brought. “Hey, Dude!”

 

Sam sat the boxes down by the stairs and approached the pair. Dean giggled and drooled all over himself as Sammy tickled his neck before hiding his face in Daddy’s neck.

 

“Hey, Sweet Pea.” Gabriel addressed the two. “Hiya, Babes.”

 

“Aren’t you going to say hi to Papa and Sammy?” Castiel teased as his baby stared off into the backyard, hypnotized by the waterfall and the birds playing around it. “Our Busy Bee has been feeling especially tiny lately so his focus is practically non-existent.”

 

“We understand. He’s just a baby, after all.” Gabriel responded with an empathetic smile. “So, to update you, we brought back four half cases, which is like 160 diapers, so you should be set for awhile. I went ahead and got you enrolled in automatic orders so they’ll ship out a case every month. Obviously, you can order more if you need them and you can cancel the autoship orders at anytime.”

 

“Thanks, Daddy.” Castiel appreciated. “Now, I think we should get this excitement over with. He only has about six hours before bedtime.”

 

“I’ll go get it.” Sam volunteered with a huge smile as he kissed Gabriel’s cheek and went back out the door.

 

“Should I be concerned?” Castiel questioned, leading Gabriel to the living room where he took a seat in the cuddler with Dean sitting on his lap.

 

“Not in the least.” Gabriel assured, lounging on the couch and pulling a sucker out of his coat. 

 

A couple minutes later, Sam re-entered the house, closing the door behind him, and came into the living room with a medium sized pet carrier. Castiel’s heart stopped in that instance. He knew about their labradoodle and Sam’s affinity for dogs despite the Hellhounds. The angel found himself praying that it wasn’t a dog. Whatever it was, it was black and white- which is all Castiel could determine through the cross-hatched bars of the carrier door. Gabriel was torn between laughing and cooing at his little angel upon seeing the panicked and curious look on his face. All the while, Dean’s eyes were locked on the carrier. He was drooling all over himself and wiggling a bit in his Daddy’s lap as Castiel started to pay more mind to his baby’s thoughts on all of this. He grabbed the burp cloth from the basket under the side table between the couch and the cuddler and wiped up the baby’s spit, slipping a pacifier in Dean’s mouth.

 

“Sam, what exactly did you two pick up?” Castiel questioned, unsure whether he actually wanted to know.

 

“Her name is Kit ‘n’ Kaboodle. She responds to just Kit too though.” Sam proudly announced, setting the carrier in Gabe’s lap. “She’s what they call a medium hair tuxie. She’s a year old, so she’s just barely fully grown.”

 

The younger Winchester unlatched the door to the portable kennel and Castiel’s heart stopped as he glanced between his baby and his Daddy’s baby. Sam slowly reached into the carrier and when he pulled his hands back out, there was a cat in them. She was beautiful with just bits of white on her chest, belly, paws and the lower part of her face. Her eyes were stunning with a gentle, almost timid, look to them. The cat was pretty small for being full grown. She looked absolutely confused about her surroundings, but she didn’t act out at all. Kit simply yawned and looked about as Gabe’s little boy held her in his arms and walked closer to the baby. Dean was certainly in awe of the furry companion and he wasn’t shy about reaching out to touch her. At first, he barely touched her fur and then he got brave, practically yanking her tail to rub it against his face like he always did with Cassie’s.

  
“Dean! No, no!” Castiel gently scolded, carefully prying the baby’s fingers off the whining cat’s tail. “Be nice to Kit. You can’t pull her tail like that or she’ll get an owie.”

 

“Owie?” Dean questioned sadly, looking from his Daddy to his legs as he sniffled. “Owie…”

 

“Yeah, Baby, owie. You didn’t hurt her yet, but you have to be much more careful like with the flowers.” Castiel explained, rubbing the boy’s back in soothing circles. “Now, you can try again, but be gentle this time. I’m sure Kit would love to be pet.”

 

“Here, Dude, Sammy will help you.” The younger Winchester encouraged, taking the baby’s hand and guiding it along the cat’s head, neck, and back. “Just like that, Buddy. Can you do it?”

 

Dean had a look of deep concentration on his face as he struggled to move his hand the way he wanted. Despite the difficulty, he managed to pet the cat just like his brother showed him. The baby squealed with glee and clumsily clapped his hands with joy. He made grabby hands for the young cat and was rewarded with Sammy setting the feline in his lap. Dean watched her as she stood up and stretched. Kit lowered and raised her head as she sniffed here and there, getting used to the new smells. She slowly lifted her front paws to rest on the baby’s chest and headbutted his chin. Dean giggled and pet the silky soft cat, looking at his Daddy to get a reaction. Castiel smiled at his baby, but shot Gabriel and Sam looks of panic and betrayal. They had not warned him that they would be doing such a thing.

 

“She’s all yours, De!” Sammy cheered, sitting on the end of the couch closest to his brother.

 

“Now, wait just a moment!” Castiel stopped him. “You two never asked for my thoughts on the matter. First off, I’ve just barely gotten into a routine with him and now you expect me to do the same with a cat? Secondly, I don’t have any of the supplies to take care of her, let alone entertain her. Third, I have a  _ baby _ , which means I can’t have dangerous things in the house. Just because Kit isn’t aggressive doesn’t mean that there is no danger. It just means the danger lies elsewhere but still has to do with her. What about the litter? Dean could get into her litter and become ill. What if he swallows one of her small toys? He could choke on them! Besides all that, I have no idea how to discipline a cat. What am I supposed to do if she scratches the furniture, or me, for that matter? I’m sure she’s intelligent, but I doubt she would understand being put in a time out.”

 

“Cassie, calm down. You guys will be just fine.” Gabriel assured, wanting to diffuse the situation before anyone ended up in tears, watching the cat curl up in the baby’s lap and begin purring. “Kit is already well-trained. She doesn’t scratch and she doesn’t bite very hard. If she does, it’s light and playful, though the foster family said that she does have a bit of an oral fixation. She usually uses her tail but she might try and use your finger or thumb. If you ever need to punish her, just spritz her with water. Cats hate being sprayed with water so she’ll learn. As for Dean’s safety, just keep her stuff in rooms he’s not allowed in by himself. Keep her litter boxes in the bathrooms and her toys in a closeable container. In any case, Dean’s a smart boy and he’s not exactly a troublemaker when he’s in headspace.”

 

“As for the supplies, we already picked all that stuff up after we got her.” Sam added, moving the carrier from Gabriel’s lap so he could curl up there. “We got three litter boxes, a cat tree, litter scoops, litter, food and water bowls, food, treats, and some toys. Some of the stuff came with her. The foster family was super nice and gave us some of the basics to get started.” 

 

Castiel was silent. This was a lot to take in. Looking down at Dean in his lap as he nuzzled the baby, he realized he had to at least give it a shot. After all, they were right on just about every account. It wasn’t like he ever left Dean by himself anyway and if he wasn’t in the angel’s arms, he was usually tucked somewhere safe like his bouncer or playpen or his walker. The seraph chuckled breathily as he watched Kit groom and suck on her own fluffy tail. It seemed that this cat was made for his baby. How could he say no when his baby looked up at him so adoringly while he pet the elegant feline? Castiel rubbed the area under Kit’s jaw, amused with her as she leaned into the touch and purred louder.

 

“Alright, we’ll at least give her a trial run.” Castiel began, looking back up at Gabriel and Sam cuddling on the couch as the younger Winchester licked the sucker that the former had been savoring.

 

“Really?! That’s so awesome, Cas! You’re the be-” Sam started to praise as the angel put a hand up to stop him.

 

“On one condition.” Castiel interrupted, holding up his index finger.

 

“What’s that, Kitten?” Gabriel inquired, letting Sam finish the sucker.

 

“You two have to set everything up and I mean everything.” Castiel answered. “If that cat tree needs to be built, then you two are building it. I have a baby with owies to look after. I still have to make dinner for all of us and he had a bedtime routine that must be done by 8 pm.”

 

“Don’t you worry about a thing, Sweet Pea.” Gabriel reassured his boy. “We’ve got it covered. Don’t we, Babe?”

 

“Yeah, man! We’ll have it all set up before you can call us for dinner.” Sam agreed, getting to his feet and dragging his boyfriend up after him.

 

“Okay. Thank you.” Castiel replied, a little surprised that they were so eager to do all the work.

 

He watched as the two headed out the door to Gabriel’s black Honda Accord to start bringing everything in. Glancing at the clock on the stove in the kitchen, he saw it was nearly 4 pm. He needed to get dinner started soon so they could be done eating by 6.30 and he could start Dean’s bedtime routine. The question was what to feed everyone. He had the ingredients to make a half-effort parmesan chicken with spaghetti and green beans. If he remembered right they still had some cheesy Texas toast as well. The more he thought about it, the better it sounded. It would take about an hour to make, even with cutting corners by using pre-made, store brand sauce and breaded chicken patties. Castiel would have to start it soon, but he was loathe to interrupt his baby’s cuddle session with Kit ‘n’ Kaboodle. He still had to figure out what to do with Dean while he cooked. The baby wasn’t a fan of repetition when it came to entertainment, even in his infantile state. He may be spacey but that didn’t mean it was okay to just keep sticking him with same toys and no ability to move over and over again.

 

“Make sure you give Kit purified water from the Pur tank in the fridge!” Castiel called to his father figure as he and Sam carried in the bags and a box that advertised the cat tree. “I don’t trust the water from the faucet for Dean so I won’t take the risk with Kit either.”

 

Gabriel shook his head fondly as they went into the summer room to start putting things together. His cherub could be such a worry wort. While Sam and Gabe got to work, Castiel moved Kit to the arm of the cuddler and stood with his baby in his arms. He decided to put Dean in his activity walker and keep the baby close by in the kitchen. He set Cassie down in the cuddler with gentle reassurances to the baby that his plush kitten would stay there and nap- if only he could say the same about Kit. As he pulled the walker over to the kitchen and got Dean situated in the seat, Gabriel came walking out with two ceramic dishes, one was sky blue with white dots and the other was a grassy green with the same white dots. 

 

“Where do you want Kit ‘n’ Kaboodle’s food and water dishes?” The archangel prompted.

 

“As much as I hate to say it, put them on the side table in the living- the one furthest from the cuddler.” Castiel sighed, pulling out three pots and a couple cookie sheets. “It’s probably the only place she can get to that Dean won’t bother.”

 

“You got it.” Gabe agreed, setting the dish with Kit’s food down in the designated spot.

 

Gabriel filled the blue and white polka dot dish and set with the other, where Kit was already munching on her food. The archangel pet the cat and rejoined Sam in the guest room. Castiel got everything prepped- the oven preheating, a large pot of water set to boil on the stove, a saucepan filled with tomato and basil pasta sauce, a small pot with green beans, a cookie sheet with chicken patties, and then the other cookie sheet with the cheesy Texas toast. Having everything set to go, Castiel took a moment to throw on some music by connecting his smartphone to the charging speaker dock. He settled on a mixed playlist of his and Dean’s favorite music and turned back to his baby. Florence and the Machine’s “Delilah” was up first in the queue. Castiel kneeled down in front of his baby and took his hands so they could ‘dance’ as the angel sang along.

 

“ _ Drifting through the halls with the sunrise _

_ (Holding on for your call) _

_ Climbing up the walls for that flashing light _

_ (I can never let go) _

_ 'Cause I'm gonna be free and I'm gonna be fine _

_ (Holding on for your call) _

_ 'Cause I'm gonna be free and I'm gonna be fine _

_ (Maybe not tonight) _

_ Now the sun is up and I'm going blind _

_ (Holding on for your call) _

_ Another drink just to pass the time _

_ (I can never say no) _

_ 'Cause I'm gonna be free and I'm gonna be fine _

_ (Holding on for your call) _

_ 'Cause I'm gonna be free and I'm gonna be fine _

_ (Maybe not tonight) _

_ It's a different kind of danger _

_ And the bells are ringing out _

_ And I'm calling for my mother _

_ As I pull the pillars down _

_ It's a different kind of danger _

_ And my feet are spinning around _

_ Never knew I was a dancer _

_ 'Till Delilah showed me how- _ ” The speakers blared, stopping as a call came in.

 

Castiel regretfully detached from his baby and went to see who could possibly be calling him. He was stunned and nervous as he saw the name on the caller ID. It was Balthazar. The seraph quickly answered, turning the speaker down a bit.

 

“Hello?” Castiel greeted.

 

“ _ Hey, Love. _ ” Balthazar responded, his accent murky over the line as if he weren’t talking directly to the phone in his hand. “ _ Good news, I’ve found Dad and you’ll never believe where. _ ”

 

“Where did you find him?”

 

“ _ I found the Old Man at Bobby Singer’s. You remember Bobby, dontcha? _ ”

 

“How could I forget the man who helped raise Dean and threatened me on numerous occasions?” Castiel challenged with an amused chuckle. “What is Father doing there?”

 

“ _ Said he was shooting the shit with the Man of Letters. They were swappin’ stories like a couple o’ war vets. Singer’s been recording the stories to give the new wave of Hunters some more info on the nasties they’re huntin’. _ ” Balthazar answered.

 

“I never would have expected that.” Castiel admitted, watching his baby play with Kit, who had her front paws on the frame of the walker. “Dean, that’s icky! Don’t do that!”

 

Part of Castiel wanted to cringe and the other part wanted to laugh as the baby held his pacifier out to the cat. Much to the angel’s amusement and confusion, Kit took the nipple into her mouth as if she intended to suck on it and walked off as if it were something all cats do. Castiel lost it with laughter as his giggling baby watched the cat go and then quickly deflated as he realized he wasn’t getting his paci back. Dean turned to his Daddy with a full throttle lip wobble and teary eyes. The angel reigned his laughter in and cooed as his baby dissolved in tears.

 

“ _ What in the universe is goin’ on over there? _ ” Balthazar asked, confused by the laughter and crying he heard.

 

“Gabriel and Sam decided that Dean needed a real kitten so they brought this fluffy black and white cat named Kit ‘n’ Kaboodle.” Castiel explained, taking his crying baby in his arms. “It turns out, she’s every bit the baby that Dean is.”

 

“ _ What do you mean? _ ”

 

“Dean held his pacifier out to her and she actually took it as if she needed the soother for herself with the teat in her mouth and everything. She just took off with it, which Dean thought was hilarious until he realized she wasn’t planning on giving it back.” 

 

“Is everything okay out here?” Sam questioned, carrying a cat tree as tall as himself out of the guest room with his angel right behind him.

 

“ _ Dean’s just upset that his kitty ran off with his binky _ .” Balthazar chimed in, chuckling all the while.

 

“Kit did what?” Gabriel laughed, turning to see the cat sleeping on her side with the soother still in her mouth. “Okay, that’s just weird. I never thought that a cat could have an oral fixation like that.”

 

“I thought the foster family told you that she had such a thing.” Castiel pointed out, rubbing his baby’s back as he sat him on the counter and rooted through the drawer beside them for the backup soother. “There we go, Bitty Bee.” 

 

Dean calmed down and snuggled into his Daddy as he took to his new soother.

 

“Is that Bal on the phone?” Gabriel diverted, ready to change the subject.

 

“ _ Ever the astute observer, brother. _ ” Balthazar playfully jabbed. “ _ I’m glad you’re all there. Now I have witnesses that can keep Castiel honest. _ ”

 

“Honest about what?” Sam questioned, unsure of what he walked into.

 

“ _ You lot are to get on a plane at Asheville Regional Airport in Asheville, North Carolina to Sioux Falls Regional Airport in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. The boarding passes are already in Sam’s email and your flight leaves tomorrow morning at 5 am sharp. Think you and Candyman can manage to get those two here in one piece? _ ”

 

“Why Sioux Falls? Does Bobby need to see us?” Sam interrogated, confused by the request.

 

“ _ I imagine he’d like to see you, but you’re coming to see God who is a bit tied up here. _ ” Balthazar supplied. “ _ God has some explanations to give to your Uncle Castiel and a bit of mending to do for him as well. As for me, I’ve got to get back to it. I’ll see you four at the airport. _ ”

 

The line went dead before anyone could say anything for or against the current plan. Gabriel took over dinner preparations while Castiel, with Dean on his hip, took Sam to the summer guest room to jump on the computer. The angel didn’t think his brother and former lover would lie to him, but it was just so sudden and expensive to get a flight like that. Then again, they were angels so nothing was out of the question. As he saw the flight times and the confirmation, he sighed. They would have to pack while Dean was asleep, which was unfortunate because without his usual stores of Grace he was relying on his vessel. The vessel that required food and sleep to perform at maximum efficiency… But he had to pack for them since Dean was in no shape to be doing anything like a big boy.

 

The rest of the night passed with relative normalcy. Dinner was quick but still relaxing. Sam and Gabe went back home afterwards to pack. Castiel took Dean upstairs to the nursery where he stripped the baby down and got him into a clean diaper. Afterwards, the angel gently massaged the baby with Johnson’s lavender scented bedtime lotion, being sure to gently work the muscles so they wouldn’t waste away. He took the baby over to the rocking chair and settled in. He used one hand to hold a bottle for Dean while he read the first chapter of the second installment in the  _ How to Train Your Dragon _ series. So far, the little hunter seemed to enjoy the world of vikings and dragons learning to coexist after generations of being at odds. Once the chapter ended, the baby was out like a light. Castiel slipped Dean into a gray and white striped onesie that had Toothless the Night Fury on it and tucked him into his crib with his pacifier, blankie and Cassie. The angel smiled and chuckled quietly as he caught Kit stalking into the room and slipping between the bars of the crib to cuddle with her human. The two had gotten on surprisingly fast and Castiel knew they weren’t getting rid of her, which was fine by him so long as he never had to deal with a dog. 

 

With the monitor and nightlight on, Castiel turned out the light and closed the door until there was only a space wide enough to fit his foot left. He would pack his own things first and then venture back to the nursery when he was sure the baby was deeply sleeping. The seraph entered his room and pulled out a suitcase. He knew that comfort would be very important tomorrow and for the rest of the trip until they got home so he started with his most comfortable outfits that were still socially acceptable. It was going to be a long night and an even longer morning with waking the baby at 3.45 in the morning to start packing everything into the car and the fit the baby would throw about going for an airplane ride- which was the only form of transportation that he truly loathed. 

 

Yes, tomorrow was going to be a nightmare.

 

==>

 

As Castiel’s alarm went off at 3.30 am, he groaned and then shot out of bed when he remembered a very important fact. They had a cat. A cat that needed food, water, and a clean litter box. A cat that wasn’t going to get any of that if no one was home. The angel sighed, rubbing his face with his hands, and got out of bed. He would get dressed, pack up the essentials for the feline and shove her furry little self into the carrier. Then he would get Dean up and dressed. After that, Sam and Gabriel would arrive to help pack up the car. With that plan in mind, Castiel got to it. He pulled on his black sweatpants, purple tee, gray cardigan, socks and imitation slip-on vans. From there, he quickly packed a small bag with Kit’s necessities and packed it into his own spacious suitcase. As he glanced the clock, he saw that it was already 3.50. The seraph groaned in disappointment as he moved his suitcase, Dean’s, the diaper bag, his backpack, and Kit’s carrier over by the door. Castiel face-palmed as he remembered that he still needed to grab the rear-facing stroller as well his wallet and keys. The seraph gathered those last minute items, stuffing the wallet and keys into the diaper bag, and left the stroller by the door. He couldn’t even begin to figure out how parents travelled with infants when there were so many things to keep track of. 

 

Castiel ran upstairs to retrieve Kit, who was thankfully still curled up in Dean’s crib, and quickly tucked her into the blanket-lined carrier. Finally, he took a breath as he lowered the side of the crib and took his sleepy baby into his arms. He moved to the changing table where he already had things ready to change his baby. Castiel undid the snaps at the crotch of the onesie and got to work on changing the diaper, never more grateful for the Munchkin brand misting wipe warmer. His baby hated being in a dirty diaper, but he also despised cold wipes. Thankfully, the angel was already remedying both problems. With a fresh nighttime diaper securely taped onto the baby’s waist, Castiel snapped the onesie closed and slipped a pair of batman knee socks on Dean. Unfortunately, it was that set of movements that awoke the slumbering infantile since it was pulling at his stitches. Dean instantly devolved to tears as Castiel picked the baby up, hearing the front door opening downstairs.

 

“Hey, Kitten, we’re here!” Gabriel called up to them. 

 

“I’ll be down in a minute!” Castiel hollered back, bouncing the baby on his hip as he gathered Cassie, Dean’s blankie and his binky from the crib. “Can you two go ahead and load everything into the car?”

 

As Castiel came down the stairs, he saw that Gabriel already had everything in the car as evidenced by the lack of baggage next to the door. There was a odd look on Gabriel’s face, though. On the bright side, Dean had calmed down again.

 

“Dean’s car seat is already in the back of my car.” Gabriel informed his little angel, walking with them to the car after locking the door with his copy of the house key. 

 

“Why do you look so nervous, Daddy?” Castiel questioned, holding  his sleepy baby in one arm while he opened the rear passenger door with his free hand. 

“Sammy regressed this morning.” Gabriel answered, sliding into the driver’s seat and buckling up.

 

Castiel got Dean buckled in, covered up with the  _ Winnie the Pooh  _ blanket from the diaper bag, and closed the door. After getting himself settled in the passenger seat, he looked the archangel, confused by the turn of events. Castiel glanced as the younger Winchester in the backseat, Sammy was tucked into a toddler style safety seat with a pacifier bobbing in his mouth. If Castiel had to guess, Sam was probably sitting around three years old. It was a bit young based on what Gabriel had told him Sam was normally like, but it wasn’t a necessarily a bad thing. Still, Sam seemed perfectly happy and adult-minded the night before. So why was he so he in headspace today?

 

“Did something happen?” Castiel inquired as they drove down the mountain. 

 

“Charlie was being a furry terror last night. Apparently there was a black bear on the patio outside of our room. I know because I saw the damn thing when I went to open the curtains to try to prove Charlie was freaking out over nothing.” Gabriel explained as he turned onto the main road to Asheville. “Sammy wasn’t that scared, but with so little sleep, he was moody when I got him up. We talked and ultimately I made the decision that it would be easier to just let him slip into his headspace rather than having him in an even worse mood because the baby moose was trying to be a big boy.”

 

“It certainly makes sense.” Castiel commented, biting back the urge to say ‘I told you so’ about adopting a dog. He knew that it was just the dog trying to be a good protector so he couldn’t really fault the animal for its behavior. “What did you do with Charlie?”

 

“Oh, he’ll be fine. We have an automatic feeder for him and there’s a couple refilling water dishes around the house. He has a doggy door and there’s potty pads around the house. He knows where he’s  allowed to go.” Gabriel responded. “I see you’re bringing Kit with us.”

 

“Yeah, I completely forgot about her last night. I should’ve just called Madie, but I didn’t even think of it until it was already too late.” Castiel sighed. “I hope Bobby doesn’t mind too much…”

 

“Speaking of Bobby, did you guys ever tell him about Dean’s regressions?” 

 

“No…” Castiel frowned, closing his eyes as he felt the defeat sink in. “Does he know about Sammy’s?”

 

“Nope.” Gabriel negated, popping the ‘p’ at the end as he hit play on the stereo, filling the car with the Silversun Pickups in the form of dull hum.

 

“Well, as Dean would say, we’re screwed.” Castiel huffed, resting his elbow on the console between him and Gabe and rested his head against his hand.

 

“It’ll be fine. Bobby cares too much about the boys to let something like this get to him.” Gabriel disagreed, glancing at the other angel. “Just relax and if you can’t, then just focus on the here and now and making sure Dean doesn’t completely lose his mind. I can’t muster up a mirage this time and I know you’re practically running on empty so we still have to handle any adverse reactions as gracefully as possible.”

 

“Which is impossible since our Graces are gone.” Castiel joked, trying and failing to stifle a cheshire grin.

 

“You are the worst.” Gabriel chuckled incredulously. “The absolute worst.”

 

“I learned from the best of the worst.” Castiel laughed.

 

The rest of the drive was uneventful. The boys slept up until they started getting them out of their safety seats, both having minor breakdowns upon waking up in a strange place- the airport long-term parking garage. It was surprisingly busy for being nearly 5 am on a Thursday and Castiel was not thrilled with the looks they were getting from the other people in the parking garage. He shook his head and tucked a much calmer Dean into his stroller, making sure his baby was covered with his blankets and had his paci and Cassie the kitten. Gabriel tucked a sniffling Sam into his stroller with his stuffed wolf, paci and no-sew blanket. Castiel stood by the strollers while the archangel ran over to the little area outside the elevator. Someone had left a luggage cart from the airport there, which they were going to need. He helped Gabe load everything onto the cart, saving Kit for last and tucking her to side, using his foot to roll Dean’s stroller back and forth.

 

They hustled over to the elevator and into the airport. The angels were extremely relieved to see that their flight had been delayed by an hour and a half, which was the only reason they hadn’t missed it all together. They got in line for the United Airlines check-ins and waited for their turn. Gabriel and Castiel were growing increasingly irritated with the rude people surrounding them- none of them seemed to realize that the angels could hear them commentating on the Winchester brothers. Castiel kept having to remind his big brother to ignore them and keep his mouth shut as they gathered everyone’s driver’s licenses. The younger angel was just as pissed off about the nasty comments as Gabriel, but he knew better than to draw further attention to them by making a scene.

 

“I can take someone down here!” A young lady called from behind the counter as the foursome reached the front of the line.

 

Castiel, pushing Dean’s stroller, followed behind Gabriel, who pulled the cart along behind him with Sammy being pushed ahead of him. 

 

“Hi, we have four for the flight to Sioux Falls, South Dakota.” Gabriel greeted, handing all four of their licenses to the attendant as well as his credit card to pay for their luggage.

“It says four adults but I see you have two strollers?” She clarified, looking them over as she pulled up their boarding passes.

 

“Yes, but if you look, you’ll see that we denoted two of them, Sam and Dean respectively, are disabled. It just so happens that they are intellectually disabled, or mentally retarded as some very blunt people like to say.” Castiel pointed out as calmly as he could while rolling Dean’s stroller back and forth as his boy rubbed Cassie’s tail against his cheek, looking dangerously close to tears while sucking anxiously on his pacifier. “All we need is to check in our luggage and then we’ll be out of the way. My Dad and I are perfectly capable of handling any needs they have, which is why we did not opt for assistance. All we need is your cooperation and understanding so we can get to South Dakota to see our family.”

 

“My apologies, Mr. Novak. I didn’t see that at first.” The young woman responded, handing over their licenses and boarding passes. “Please place the bags on the scale one by one. You may have a carry-on and a personal bag each so long as each one fits within the size restriction.” 

 

They separated the diaper bags, backpacks and Kit’s carrier from the suitcases and followed her instructions as she gave them. Once all the bags were checked in, the young lady, whose name tag stated her to be Nina, gave them tags to attach to the strollers as she explained what they would need to do for security and what to do with them when boarding started. Gabriel tensely thanked her as they gathered their carry-ons and Kit, heading over to security. The angels had to work even harder to keep themselves in check after the first guard checked over their passes and IDs. He wasn’t flat out rude, but the disgust and discomfort was still there in the rigid manner with which he regarded them compared to the other travellers. Castiel was practically grinding his teeth as took Dean into his arms and approached the full body scanner. Gabriel had gone through first, waiting on the other side for Sam, who was holding his Uncle Cas’ free hand as he waited to see what need to happen. Since Sammy wasn’t as young as Dean in headspace, he could still walk himself through. Castiel walked the boy into the scanner and helped him pose as the guard on the other side requested.

 

“Okay, sweetheart, Uncle Cas is going to step back and then Daddy will get you in just a minute.” Castiel reassured his nephew. “Just stay nice and still like when we played red light green light. Red light!”

 

Sammy giggled as Castiel stepped back, bouncing his baby on his hip. The game the angel had initiated took the scariness away from the situation and the adult part of Sam was infinitely grateful for all that the younger angel was doing to help him and Dean. Castiel watched as Gabriel called green light and took Sam into his arms as the Little ran to him. The seraph stepped into the scanner with his boy on his hip and had to bite his tongue as the guard stepped towards them.

 

“Sir, he has to go through separately and standing.” The man, whose name tag read to be Chad, informed him.

 

“Here’s the problem with that, Mr. Chad,” Castiel coolly stated. “He literally cannot stand on his own. He is intellectually disabled and he recently had surgery on both his legs that should enable him to try walking if he can learn it. His muscles were damaged before the surgery two weeks prior to today. He cannot stand on his own.”

 

“Then we’ll have to ask you to set him down in a sitting position in the scanner and step back.” Chad instructed with his hands on his hips.

 

“I’m sorry, Baby,” Castiel apologized as he set his confused baby down in the confines of the scanner. “Daddy will be right here, just sit tight, De.”

 

Castiel stepped back, feeling awful as Dean started to tear up as the machine whirred to life. By the time the scan was done, Dean was in tears and reaching frantically for his angel. The seraph quickly picked his baby up and soothed him with whispered words of comfort. He was almost in tears himself as he handed his sniffling baby over to Gabriel, who had already tucked Sam back into his stroller. Castiel patiently stood still for the scanner as a rogue tear ran down his face. He was acutely aware of numerous people filming their situation, but he was in no way concerned with that when his baby needed him. The angel breathed a sigh of relief as he rushed out of the scanner and took Dean back into his arms. 

 

“Sir, please step over here.” Chad insisted, gesturing to a side area.

 

“Why?” Castiel asked, doing as told.

 

“The scan picked something up on your person and we are required to do a pat down to ensure it’s nothing dangerous or prohibited in general.” Chad explained. “You’ll need to set him down so we can do this.”

 

Castiel scowled as he strapped his baby into the stroller and did as instructed. It was a painful five minutes of awkward frisking before they pulled his car keys out of his pocket. The angel glared daggers at the security guard as the man handed the keys back and thanked him for his cooperation.

 

“What kind of world do we live in where a child has to sit and cry because his guardian is being frisked by security just because the man forgot to take his keys out of his pocket?” Castiel bitterly posed as he rejoined his brother and nephew with his baby. “What good are those fancy scanners if they can’t show that the item in question is just a set of house keys?”

 

“A world ruled by fear and a useless hunk of junk.” Gabriel answered, glaring at the people still recording them like some sort of freak show while Castiel got his shoes on and gathered his belongings and Kit.

 

They made their way to their gate, which wasn’t that terribly crowded but still enough to make their boys uncomfortable. Castiel looked around and he was stunned and grateful when he spied the rocking chairs tucked against one wall. When Gabriel turned around to ask his boy where they should sit, he was alarmed to see empty space. As he scanned the area, he spotted his cherub and nephew cuddling in the rocking chair with Kit by their feet. The cat had been surprisingly well behaved throughout the trip so far. She whined for a bit in the car and when she went through security, but otherwise she seemed to sleep through the rest. The archangel joined his little family at the rocking chairs, taking a seat in one and pulling Sammy out of the stroller to cuddle with him. Things hadn’t gone very fantastically so far to say the least, but he supposed it could have been worse.

 

It was about twenty minutes before the attendant started the announcements for the flight to Sioux Falls departing from Gate A7. They ran through the flight time- about five hours long- and all the basic information about the boarding process. Finally, they propped the gate door open and started calling for passengers with special circumstances- the elderly, the disabled, and those with young children. Gabriel, Castiel, their boys, and Kit were behind about five people in line. Both angels had their respective Winchester propped on their hip, Kit’s carrier in Dean’s stroller, as they approached the attendant, a young man by the name of David. They were pleasantly surprised when David didn’t even flinch at seeing them with grown men dressed as children and sucking on pacifiers in their arms. 

 

“They look absolutely adorable. I hope they don’t have too rough of a time with the flight.” David remarked as he handed their boarding passes back to them. 

 

“Thank you, David.” Castiel responded with a warm smile.

 

“Gay.” Gabriel commented as they walked through the hall to the plane.

 

“I don’t care. He’s the first one to treat us like human beings.” Castiel brushed off, taking Kit from the stroller and collapsing it.

 

Gabriel followed suit and they left them just outside the entrance to the plane with all the other strollers. It wouldn’t be hard to tell theirs apart from everyone else’s due to the size difference and the fact that most strollers were front facing where theirs were rear-facing. Castiel let Gabe go first since he had less to maneuver. Once Gabe got Sammy settled in his seat and the bags put under the seats in front of them, he helped Castiel slide Kit under one of the three seats on his side and then the diaper bag under another. Castiel and Dean were on  the side with three seats whereas Gabe and Sam were on the side with two, all on the same row. Thankfully, Castiel and Dean were in the two outer seats, closest to his Daddy and nephew, but it didn’t help Castiel’s nerves in the least. He sat down in the seat next to the aisle with Dean turned sideways so the baby’s feet were in the seat next to them. His Baby Bee was taking things pretty well so far, but the angel didn’t think it had quite set in where they were or what they were doing. The angel wasn’t doing so well as his mind spun with all the possible people they could be stuck with in that third seat.

 

“Is Dean doing alright?” Gabriel asked, situating a blanket on Sammy’s lap and handing him his stuffed wolf named Sylvia (or ‘Sylfie’ when he was feeling smaller).

 

“So far, so good, but I don’t think he realizes what’s going on yet.” Castiel replied, feeling anxiety flutter through him. “I hope the person in the window seat isn’t going to turn out to be an asshole.”

 

“I’m sure whoever it is will just ignore you. If not, we’ll make a little switcheroo before takeoff. Sammy will get revenge if they’re a jerk.” Gabriel reassured the younger angel, briefly holding his hand until a passenger needed to get by. “That might be your seatmate right there…”

 

Castiel peered around his dozing baby to see a young woman approaching them and looking at every row number very carefully. She was pretty petite- couldn’t be much taller than five foot if even that- with pink, blue and purple pastel hair that went down to her shoulders and was pale complected. She was wearing a pair of Markiplier logoed ‘pjorts’ with a two sizes too big pastel pink tee and long, oversized black sweater, topped off with a headband made of metal with black roses outlining cat ears, a bushy black tail bobbing around thigh, and a choker with a bell on it. Her bags were quilted black, green and blue paisley patterned and she wore glasses too big for her face. She already had earbuds in and her phone in hand. The woman looked like a nervous wreck as she approached them and saw the row number.

 

“Um… Hi, I’m the window seat…” She mumbled, tucking her hair behind one ear as she popped an earbud out.

 

“Oh, one moment.” Castiel responded, shifting his hold on Dean and getting to his feet.

 

She slipped into the row and took her seat, tucking her bags under the seat in front of her. The angel resumed his seat and position, hushing his baby as he started to whine from all the movement. Castiel caught the woman watching them out the corner of his eye. He sighed and looked to Gabriel, who was actually smiling at them. The younger angel shot him a questioning look. The archangel nodded to the girl, who blushed and looked down as Castiel turned his gaze on her.

 

“Go ahead and say it.” Castiel prompted with a sigh.

 

“Say what?” She asked, genuinely confused.

 

“I know what you’re thinking. You can’t help but gawk because he’s technically a grown man dressing and acting like an infant. He’s retarded and special and a freak and so am I for participating.” Castiel coolly hissed to keep from making a scene. “Just say it and get it over with.”

 

To Castiel’s surprise, the girl was nearly reduced to tears as she frowned with watery gray-blue eyes. The angel felt bad for having read her wrong. He supposed he should have thought more about Gabe’s reaction to the girl. For whatever reason, the archangel seemed to have a good feeling about her. And here he was, accusing her of being like all the other rude people that passed them with looks of disgust and disdain. Dean watched her with curiosity alight in his emerald eyes as he sucked on his soother and hugged Cassie to his chest.

 

“I’m sorry for staring…” She apologized, taking a shuddery breath. “It’s just that… well, you reminded me of my wife, who I’m on this flight to see… and…”

 

“Oh my goodness, I’m sorry.” Castiel apologized, grimacing at his mistake as he rubbed Dean’s back. “It’s just that I’ve been getting funny looks and rude remarks ever since we came to the airport so I’m a bit defensive. Was there something else you were going to say, Miss…? What is your name?”

 

“Poppy. My name’s Poppy Mitchells.” She answered, blushing with a shy smile. “I understand your reaction… I mean I was staring and everything. My wife, Hannah, and I are, um…”

 

“You don’t have to tell me, Poppy. I know I’m just a stranger.” Castiel assured her, not wanting to make things any worse than he already has.

 

“No, it’s okay. Hannah and I age play together.” Poppy explained in hushed tones. “I know you probably assume I’m the Little based off how I’m dressed but I’m usually the caregiver, though we’re both switches so it depends on how we feel in our down time together. Seeing you reminded me of Hannah and our weekends off together. Plus, your baby is just so cute! He’s paws-itively handsome. Pun intended, by the way.”

 

“Thank you, Poppy.” Castiel laughed. “He’s quite the little charmer and I swear he knows it.”

 

“I’m sorry I made things so awkward before.”

 

“It’s fine. I’m just on edge about everything. This is my first time travelling with him like this.” Castiel confided in a low volume.

 

“That’s totally normal, I promise. The first time Hannah and I travelled while she was in headspace, we were both anxious until the plane took off. We realized that no one would pay us any mind if we weren’t disruptive or anything.” Poppy reassured him with a warm smile. “So is he actually intellectually disabled or did you just use that to keep them off your backs?”

 

“Truthfully, he’s just an age player. He’s been regressed since he got injured a couple weeks back.” Castiel admitted, unsure of whether he was telling her too much or not.

 

“How did that happen?”

 

“He was working and he had a run in with a criminal who attacked him.” Castiel elaborated, careful not to give to many details. 

 

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry. It must be really tough for both of you.” Poppy sympathized.

 

“It can be at times, but that’s just because I hate seeing him in pain.” Castiel admitted.

 

“Are they with you two?” Poppy asked, nodding towards Sam and Gabriel, who were cuddling and having a thumb war.

 

“Yeah, the short one is my Dad if you can believe it. The boy with him is his Little and my baby’s younger brother.” Castiel affirmed with an affectionate smile at the pair across the aisle.

 

They fell quiet as the pilot came over the intercom to kick things off as the plane rumbled to life. The stewardess took over, explaining emergency procedures and all that good stuff that Castiel was tempted to roll his eyes at, which he caught Poppy doing as they giggled together about it. The angel knew a lot about things on Earth now that he’d spent so much time there that even flying was under his umbrella of knowledge. As they looked out the window, they saw the runway and Castiel’s stomach dropped. This was the part that was going to upset his baby boy. Looking across the aisle, the angel saw it was much more exciting for his brother’s boy, who was holding the archangel’s hand as he told his Daddy just how cool it was going to be.

 

“Is he a bad flyer?” Poppy inquired as she noticed Dean anxiously looking around the cabin.

 

“He never has liked flying. It probably didn’t help that one of the cases he worked was a brutal one on an airplane.” Castiel confirmed, holding Dean closer as he settled the blanket on his baby’s lap. “It’s okay, Sweet Bee, Daddy’s right here. Daddy’s got you.”

 

“What’s his name?”

 

“Dean.” 

 

“Hi, Dean!” Poppy cheerfully greeted with that soft falsetto that was universally used for little ones. “My name’s Poppy. Are you scared of airplanes?”

 

Dean nodded tearfully as they sped down the runway, getting closer and closer to take off.

 

“It’s cause it takes you up so high, huh?” Poppy sympathized, receiving a nod. “When I was little, I wouldn’t even look out the window because I was so scared! But my big sisters, who were sitting on either side of me, got me to look at the window when we were in the air and suddenly I didn’t care that we were so far up because it was beautiful!”

 

Like father, like son, Dean tilted his head to the side, not sure whether he believed her or not.

 

“I’ll tell you something else. I’m a little nervous about today’s flight.” Poppy confessed at a low volume as if she were telling him a secret. “Do you know why?”

 

Dean shook his head, stiffening as they started to leave the ground.

 

“You gotta focus on me or I can’t tell you, okay?” Poppy distracted him.

 

Dean nodded and clung to his Daddy, who pet his hair all the while.

 

“I’m a little worried cause this is my first time flying with someone else.” Poppy hinted, pulling at her shirt so it was more form fitting.

 

Dean looked to his Daddy, unsure of what she meant. He saw that Poppy’s belly was sticking out quite a bit, but she could just be bloated or fat. Though being fat didn’t make sense with all her dainty, thin features- all of her would be similarly proportioned.

 

“She has a baby in her tummy, Honey Bee.” Castiel explained, kissing his baby’s temple.

 

“You wanna feel him?” Poppy offered, feeling the baby moving about. “He’s pretty nervous too.”

 

Dean looked to his Daddy again for the correct answer. Daddy nodded so he did too. Poppy took the baby’s hand and held it against her swollen, hardened abdomen. It took a minute but Dean felt the fetus kick against his hand. He looked up at his Daddy, cooing and grinning. It was such a weird and cool feeling. Their fun was interrupted when the stewardess approached them.

 

“Sir, he needs to be in his own seat with the belt fastened around his waist.” The Stewardess insisted.

 

“He’s not a good flyer and I have a good grip on him. It’s best if he stays right where he is.” Castiel calmly disagreed, tightening his grip on his baby.

 

“I’m sorry, Sir, but that is against regulations for someone his size. He must be in his own seat for his safety. I will not ask again.” She pushed.

 

“Alright, but I cannot promise this will end well.” Castiel huffed as the plane continued to ascend.

 

“If it’s any consolation, he can sit sideways in the seat to be leaned against you, but he must be in his own seat with his lap restraint fastened.” The Stewardess qualified, feeling awful as she saw the distress that the infantile man was displaying as he was put on the seat and loosely buckled.

 

“Here, have Dean put his feet on my lap.” Poppy offered, shifting further back in her seat.

 

The stewardess left them and returned to her seat towards the front of the plane. Castiel and Poppy shifted Dean so he was facing Poppy with his feet in her lap and his back against his Daddy’s side with his arm around him.  As Kit started crying out, such high-pitched and panicked meows, Dean began to cry in earnest. The pressure was building up in his ears and he didn’t like it one bit, not to mention Kit’s panic feeding into his own suffering. Castiel was at a loss as he tried to soothe his baby. He didn’t know what was wrong because his diminishing Grace had already compensated for the pressure, so he had no ill effects. It was only a matter of minutes before loud, rude complaints were made. Just to make matters worse, the stewardess got on the intercom and explained that they had a few passengers with disabilities and that it was important to express compassion and empathy for said passengers instead feeding into their panic by verbalizing their negativity. It was such a bullshit, scripted announcement that disgusted row 17 more than they could put into words. The five of them were insulted on behalf of all the disabled people that had to go through things like this. It was clear that Poppy had enough as she gently moved Dean’s feet from her lap and stood up as much as possible to regard the cabin, which was still full of grumbling.

 

“Excuse me, but I believe what they’re legally bound to avoid saying to all of you is that you’re all being very rude and disrespectful.” Poppy called through the cabin, which got everyone to shut up. “I dare you to raise your hand if you would tell an infant, a newborn baby, to shut up and stop crying.”

 

There was a clear lack of hands in the air, though Castiel knew the look on Gabriel’s face. The archangel clearly wanted to raise his hand just to rile her up and cause some mischief. Gabe thought better of it, though and didn’t antagonize Poppy or the rest of the cabin. The older angel felt worse as Sammy started to cry in response to Dean’s upset.

 

“That’s what I thought. Show some kindness and understand that he can’t help it any more than a normal infant because that’s what he is, a baby in a man’s body, but not by choice. It’s a disability that he has to struggle with everyday. Not to mention what his caregiver has to go through listening to all of your rude and negative comments.” Poppy finished, taking her seat as she saw the stewardess getting up to intervene. “That’s my two cents.”

 

“Thank you.” Castiel whispered with a grateful look in her direction.

 

“Ma’am, please refrain from shouting at the other passengers. I understand that others’ behavior can upsetting when it is negative and directed at the ones you care about, but that is not necessarily the best path to take.” The stewardess told the young mother to be. “Please let us handle any situations that arise. We don’t want to risk any negative situations.”

 

“Okay. I’ll leave you to it.” Poppy submitted, putting her hands up in a placating gesture.

 

“Thank you for understanding.” The stewardess responded before going back to her seat once again.

 

“You should give him a bottle.” Poppy suggested as she resituated his feet in her lap and rubbed his sock-clad shins. “He needs to pop his ears. The pressure buildup is causing them to ache and making him cry.”

 

“Really?” Castiel asked, surprised by her suggestion.

 

She nodded, pulling a pack of gum from her bag and popping a piece into her mouth.

 

“Where’s his diaper bag?” Poppy questioned.

 

“Under the seat in front of his.” Castiel answered, grateful for his ‘seatmate’ as Gabe called her.

 

She carefully moved around in her seat and slid the bag out, grabbing one of the pre-made bottles. She shook it up with her finger holding the cap in place before popping the cover off and handing it over. Castiel turned in his seat and shifted Dean around until he was in a more comfortable nursing position. It took a minute to convince his baby to latch on, but once he did, he was much happier. Apparently, Poppy was knew a thing or two. Then again, she had said her wife had been in headspace on a flight before. Plus, she was about to be a mom so that likely contributed as well.

 

“You know, you told me Dean’s name, but you never told me yours or theirs.” Poppy pointed out, nodding to the two across the aisle as Gabe got his little boy calmed down.

 

“Castiel Novak. Those two are-” Castiel began, adjusting his grip on the bottle.

 

“I’m Gabriel and this little birdy is Sammy.” The archangel chimed in, waving from across the aisle as he popped a Hershey’s kiss into his mouth. “Nice to meet you, Poppy.”

 

“Same.” She laughed, already enamored with the other two. “So what has you four braving the ignorant to go to Sioux Falls?”

 

“We’re going to visit family.” Castiel answered.

 

“I bet the boys are excited about that.” Poppy smiled, rubbing Dean’s legs again.

 

“They are, I’m sure.” Castiel agreed, taking the empty bottle from his sleepy baby’s mouth. “Okay, now we just have to find a way to burp you…”

 

“Just lean him forward with your arm across his chest and pat his back. It’s a lot easier than trying to do chest to chest in such a small space.” Poppy offered up.

 

Castiel took her advice and was relieved when it did the trick. It was hard to believe that he was really luck enough to run into her. It almost seemed too perfect, but he wasn’t going to look the gift horse in the mouth.

 

“I don’t suppose you have any advice for helping Kit ‘n’ Kaboodle.” Castiel wondered aloud, cuddling his baby close as he slipped the pacifier back in place and situated Cassie in Dean’s hold.

 

“I do, but it’s not worth it at this point. You should give her allergy meds next time. Just crush it and put it into her food before you fly out. She’ll be too drowsy to care.” Poppy advised, eyeing the cat’s carrier with sympathy. “Poor kitty.”

 

“I’ll be sure to use that on our way back.”

The rest of the flight passed in relative peace. Dean was much calmer during the landing, only whining on impact with the runway. The baby had slept through most of the flight, just like Sam. As they were pulled up to the terminal and waiting for the go ahead to start gathering things up and filing off the craft, Poppy leaned forward and pulled a plush the size of  her torso from her bag. It was Toothless the Night Fury from  _ How to Train Your Dragon _ and it was adorable. Dean was captivated by the stuffed creature and intently watching Poppy as she held it.

 

“I see you like Toothless,” Poppy commented, tickling Dean’s tummy where the onesie showed the dragon printed on it. “Here, Dean.”

 

“That’s not necessary.” Castiel told her as she handed over the stuffed animal.

 

“Is it to me. I adore all Littles and he’s no exception. I got that little friend from my wife years ago when we were still dating. It was her gift to celebrate our anniversary as an age play couple. I adore the movie, though I haven’t read the books yet. Every Little needs a stuffed bestie and I can tell your boy needs loving dragon to go with his adventurous and compassionate viking spirit.”

 

“I don’t know how to thank you.” Castiel responded as people started getting up from their seats and filing off as the intercom blared the pilot’s voice telling them to enjoy their stay and welcome back to the residents. 

 

“No need to thank me. I did it because in our community, everyone is family. We have to stick together and show each other the love that world is too scared to show us.” Poppy assured him. “Make sure that you cute little furball gets plenty of time and space to roam while you’re here or she’s gonna be a little terror when you get home.”

 

“I will be sure to do that.” Castiel agreed, sitting Dean up while he packed everything but Cassie up.

 

Their little group was the last to get off with Poppy bringing up the rear. They said goodbye to her after she put her number in Castiel’s phone and they all went their separate ways since the angels had to stop off in the restroom to change their boys after the long flight. After get the boys cleaned up and tucked into their strollers, they followed the signs towards baggage claim. It was a long walk and bit of a nuisance to find the right carousel, but once they did, they found Balthazar, Bobby and Chuck waiting for them.

 

“Brothers! Nephews!” Balthazar cheerily greeted, hugging his heavenly siblings. “How was the flight?”

 

“It was rough at times, but we met a very nice mother-to-be named Poppy.” Castiel answered, relishing in his former lover’s embrace since they hadn’t touched like that in centuries.

 

“Turned out she was an age player.” Gabriel added, leaning on the stroller’s handle.

 

“Well, that was a happy coincidence, I’m sure.” Balthazar commented. 

 

“Definitely.” Castiel agreed.

 

“I see Deanie has a new stuffed friend.”

 

“A gift from Poppy, actually.”

 

“And here I thought love thy neighbor was a dead concept.” Balthazar stated, impressed by the kindness of a stranger. “Good on her for being a decent person.” 

 

“Hello, boys.” Chuck greeted, hugging his angelic children. “How are my grandbabies?”

 

“A little tired and grouchy, but they’re doing well.” Gabriel answered as he watched the carousel starting to rotate with luggage appearing on the belt.

 

“What in the world?” Bobby questioned, looking at the boys he had raised in confusion. “Is there something you lot wanna tell me?”

 

“We’ll explain on the way to your home.” Castiel promised, rolling Dean’s stroller back and forth as his baby hid behind his stuffies with Kit’s carrier in his lap. 

 

“Is that a pet carrier?” Bobby demanded, even more confused as he watched Sam hide behind a stuffed wolf.

 

“Gabriel and Sam got Dean a cat and we didn’t have any time to find a pet sitter before our flight.” Castiel responded as Balthazar and Chuck started collecting their bags for them.

 

“Alright, then.” Bobby said, clearly unsure of what the Hell was going on.

 

Once all the bags were collected, the little family headed out of the airport to the parking lot. They piled into a rental minivan, courtesy of Chuck, and headed back to Singer’s Self Service Auto Salvage with Bobby behind the wheel. On the way, the angels explained their attempt to make up for what the boys had missed out on in their youth. Bobby listened with as open of a mind as possible, though he admitted it was weird at first. The more they explained and answered any questions he asked, the more he realized what a good thing it was. It would still take some getting used to, but he also wanted to be a part of it because he loved those boys to pieces. All in all, it seemed like things were going to be okay.


	19. God and His Plans: Last Part

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this is a short chapter to just kind of get the ball rolling for the next few chapters and set the stage for the follow up entitled Because I Love You Too (or BILYT, cause sometimes I'm lazy). I will be going back and doing a fic of chronological one-shots showing the developments and events that FTLOY and BILYT reference about the Destiel and Sabriel romantic developments as well as the Nephilim transformation for both. I am willing to take prompts for the one-shot fic, which is TBN (To Be Named). You can hit me up on tumblr at lizzychasewinchester if you wanna chat, have questions, or prompts.
> 
> Affections,  
> Liz

Everything since that call with Balthazar had been leading up to the moment that finally came- the one where Castiel could confront God, his Father, and find out what the Hell was going on. The day had been spent getting the boys into a better mood, which was achieved between Kit’s antics of terrorizing Bobby to get his affection and the Man of Letters playing with the Winchester brothers as if they really were the ages they acted like while in their headspaces. The boys had been tucked into bed with their favorite stuffies and Kit wedged between them. Castiel, Gabriel, Balthazar, Chuck and Bobby had cleaned up after dinner and sat down to chat about the state of everything. Bobby may have been caught up on the boys’ regressions, but he still needed an explanation for Dean’s bandaged thighs. The retired hunter had looked at God at if he were Lucifer singing an apocalyptic parody of of a Taylor Swift song. Gabriel lost as soon as he saw the look and God took it very well, choosing to take Chuck Shurley’s relaxed ‘do what you want and don’t apologize’ approach to the situation. Finally, they had arrived at Castiel’s confrontation.

 

“So, Castiel, how’s Dean been doing since his release from the hospital?” Chuck inquired, relaxing in the armchair he’d taken over.

 

“He’s been suffering every day. The stitches cause him great discomfort and the pain of the torn muscle is unparalleled to him while he is regressed, which he has been since before he was wrongly sent to face Raphael with no knowledge of his adversary.” Castiel bluntly answered. “But you already knew all this because there was more to your plan than you saw fit to share with your children.” 

 

“I take it you’ve figured out my plan for Dean and Sam then?” 

 

“You want them to become angels and you’ve forced Dean into this without his consent.” Castiel confirmed. “How many times have you forced him into things he wanted no part of only to have it literally go to Hell?”

 

“Many times.” Chuck laughed, recalling the mortal’s numerous death- the majority at the hand of his beloved archangel son, Gabriel. “That boy has a lot of spunk and even more determination to live and help others do the same. Sam and Dean are the best blessings I could’ve given the world at the time.”

 

“You have the audacity to laugh at the suffering of someone who has done nothing but good for this world?” Castiel questioned, completely shocked. “You profess your love for Dean and Sam, for all Heavenly children, and yet you do this? You have tried to kill the man I have found to be my soul mate, the one being with whom I share a profound bond, more times than I can bear to count and you laugh?! Where do you get off, Father?!”

 

“Castiel, even for us, life is too short to not see the humor all around, past and present. I laugh because he’s still with us and quite frankly he’ll never cease to exist on all planes if you remain his Celestial Architect and take care of him like I know you already do.” Chuck calmly explained. “Every time he died, or nearly did, he learned something. He had new experiences and they helped him grow. I do not get off on the pain of anyone, sweet cherub. I merely do what must be done to shape them into who they are. I’ve always known him to be your soul mate and you had to meet somehow. Aside from that, we had to make a move to show Hell that war had come. If they had no hope, they had no fight. Without a will and desire to fight, they never would have shown their faces so that we could eradicate them from existence once and for all.” 

 

Castiel was stunned. He’d always felt drawn to Dean, but he had never known why. Not until they had to face the apocalypse together. The problem was in the timing of his discovery. So many times the angel wanted nothing more than to share those cheesy romance movie moments with his human and just forget about the world. But there was never time and then Dean repeatedly claiming he did not like men in that way… It was crushing, but Castiel stuck by him because he was still important, both to him and to Heaven. Now, to suddenly hear that from the moment of Dean Winchester’s birth, he was fated as the angel’s soul mate… That he had to endure literal Hell and torment at the hands of Alastair of all creatures, just to give Castiel an excuse to meet the mortal and wage war on Hell? It was asinine. There was no other way to describe it. Castiel hadn’t even realized he was reacting physically until he felt Gabriel and Balthazar gently tugging his hands away from his wings- he nearly developed a bald patch on one them from plucking the feathers. He’d have to find a way to fix that before his precious baby saw and had a meltdown.

 

“Cassie, Love, please don’t cry…” Balthazar pleaded, wiping a tear away from the seraph’s cheek- not even minding the burn of the hot liquid (angel tears are quite deadly to mortals and painful to other beings). 

 

“I’m just so angry!” Castiel confessed. “You knew all my life and his that Dean Winchester would be my Eternal Consort and instead of come clean, you toy with us over and over and over again! You murder him an unfathomable number of times, knowing what that did to me and how it broke me apart! How every breakdown caused a new tragedy ranging from a stillborn to a tsunami and yet, you were unrelenting in your torment of two that you profess your highest blessings to?! IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT ACCEPTABLE?!”

 

Castiel’s was roiling within him, threatening to cremate his vessel  and cause another tragedy from the undue stress he was under knowing the truth. Gabriel and Balthazar were sitting on either side of him on the couch, trying their damnedest to help him calm down before he either destroyed his vessel and everything around him, including his family, or awoke their sleeping babies just upstairs. 

 

“Yes, I did know and I did proceed as you have laid out for everyone. Again, I have my reasons for what I have done. Think about all that he’s been through and how it has given you him and the things you want with him.” Chuck pointed out thoughtfully as if he were pondering why he wrote the Supernatural series instead of explaining why he repeatedly tortured ones he claimed to love. “Clearly in this universe, it is acceptable but not good for these things to occur.”

 

“Fine! Let’s say that’s an acceptable answer.” Castiel ground out, clenching his jaw so hard he thought he could feel his teeth attempting to crack under the pressure. “What did you do to my Grace and why?!” 

 

“Oh, yes, that…” Chuck frowned sadly with a sigh. “I knew you would want to banish his pain at the first chance and wouldn’t want him to suffer- which is something I don’t wish on Dean either-but you would miss an opportunity. If you just made it all better right then and there, it would defeat the purpose. Dean is getting the second chance at a real childhood that you wanted him to have because you haven’t been able to just make it go away. Now, I never intended him to be harmed to such a degree but it worked in our favor.”

 

“You mean in  _ your _ favor?” Castiel bitterly corrected as he cuddled up with his brothers.

 

“Yes, mostly in my favor. I wanted Dean to become an angel ever since he was born, but it couldn’t happen too soon or chaos of incomprehensible degrees would have ensued. Heaven was bound to break out into a civil war upon yours and Gabriel’s return after aiding the humans and following their lead. If Dean became an angel before or during the apocalypse, the war amongst yourselves would have occurred prematurely and led to the end of angels. Therefore, it had to wait.”

 

“But Heaven’s still in complete disarray and in Your absence, it has only drawn out. The others doubt your existence and they no longer thrive on blind faith. If You don’t reveal yourself to them, I don’t know what will happen…” Gabriel argued, wrapping his wings around his brothers. “We narrowly survived the Leviathans’ return, which wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t left Castiel in such a broken state. He was convinced that the only way to quell the various threats we were facing was to absorb purgatory, including those inky bastards. Good job creating Cthulhu, by the way, Dad.”

 

“Yes, Heaven is quite the tragedy these days and I suppose I will have to go home sometime soon. I cannot stay though, I have so much to do and see.” Chuck responded, a contemplative look on his face. “As for the Leviathans, I have much regret in their creation and the subsequent trauma they’ve unleashed. It broke my heart to see them nearly kill you three. I only wish I could have come out of hiding to handle them myself, but they were the only beings that knew of how to kill me.”

 

“What?!” Bobby demanded in unison with the three angels on his couch. He’d been listening intently, hoping to get the scoop on how exactly things worked in God’s realm and ended up learning more than he ever intended. “You can die?!”

 

“Yes, I can die. If the Devil, also known as my poor estranged Luci, so can I, right?” Chuck posed, a wistful smile briefly crossing his visage. “I staked my life on the ever so popular and beloved- what do they call you and Dean again? Destiel? Yes, that sounds about right. Anyhow, I staked my existence on you and your Eternal Consort. Thankfully,  _ God’s Not Dead _ , just like the movie states.”

 

“There’s a movie about you not being dead?” Balthazar clarified, never having heard of it before.

 

“Oh, silly me. I forgot that I never allowed my children to explore the future.” Chuck remembered. “Yes, the humans will one day in the year 2014, release a movie entitled  _ God’s Not Dead. _ ”

 

“Okay, great, now back to the issue at hand, Chuck.” Bobby dismissed, wanting to get back on track. “You never really told Cas what you did to his Grace and whether you can fix it.” 

 

“I reduced his available stores and slowed his recovery. On top of that, it’s not longer a simple touch to make everything better. Dean must nurse his Grace to be healed by it. But he must also receive injections to not die from it. If his body rejects the Grace before it can use it to create its own, it will kill him, corrupting the blood as well as the veins it flows through.” Chuck clarified. “He can recover and regain his normal stores and procurement rate, but not until Dean’s finished the transformation. It will slowly restore to its former glory, but for now, it is greatly depreciated. Think of Castiel’s situation in comparison to a human woman who is fatigued and without her former energy as she nurses her newborn but recovers as the child depends less and less on her to stay alive. She recovers to her former energetic self as if she never experienced the drains of creating and supporting infantile life. So shall Gabriel and Castiel recover.”

 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Pops!” Gabriel stopped him. “Me? How did I get pulled into this?”

 

“Sam is to become an angel as well.” Chuck spelled out with an amused look. “It is too risky to leave him open to demonic influence. He is a smart, wonderful child, but he has his weaknesses which they know all too well. It is too easy to sway him to their side. Besides, they are brothers and it is unfair to take one without the other. Dean would have a fit if he were the only one to go through the nephilim trials and vice versa.”

 

Gabriel just glared at his Father. He has never wanted to put Sam through something so traumatic and dangerous. They just barely got away from near death experiences and yet here was God demanding yet another thing of his favored angels and their humans.

 

“I’m sorry, Chuck,” Bobby began. “I really like you, I do, both as my God, my Heavenly Father, and my friend, but I think it’s time you get going. These boys need time to process all this and the little ones upstairs need their guardians to be at a hundred percent.”

 

“I understand, Bobby. I’ll see myself out.” Chuck agreed, getting to his feet. “I am truly sorry that things had to play out the way they did, but there are millions of tiny factors that play into this. Ones that probably seem inconsequential to you, but make all the difference nonetheless. So again, I apologize for the things all of you had to go through.”

 

The four sat in stunned silence as God left the house with a soft creak and click of the front door. None of them had expected Him to apologize for… well, for anything. He was God after all. Why would God need to apologize to His creations, who were lucky to even be alive? The silence became more of a peaceful meditation time as they took the time to process all the different things they had learned about. Castiel sighed when he realized that he never got the chance to ask about the nephilim trials, which was what he needed to know the most since they no longer had a choice in the matter. Their quiet time was harshly and abruptly ended as Dean’s screams and wails travelled downstairs, followed closely by Sam’s. Castiel was on his feet and dashing up the stairs in leaps and bounds before the others could even think to twitch. 

 

“De, it’s okay! It’s okay, Angel!” Castiel soothed as he ran into the room and sat down on the edge of the bed. “Daddy’s here. You’re gonna be okay. We’ll make it all better.”

 

“Sammy, baby, don’t cry.” Gabriel cooed, taking the younger Winchester into his arms. “Daddy’s here and it’s all gonna be okay.”

 

Bobby and Balthazar watched from a distance while the angels worked their magic and calmed the babies back down. The Brit’s curiosity was peaked as Castiel began to remove Dean’s onesie. He knew it was necessary to remove it entirely to change Dean so there must be something wrong. Sure enough, as Bobby flicked the light on and the onesie was tossed to the side, Balthazar saw it.

  
“Oh, Baby Bee…” Castiel breathed, unable to believe what he was seeing on his Little’s back.

 

“Those are Markings, Love.” Balthazar informed the seraph. “He’s already begun making his own Grace from yours. He’s an incubate now.”

 

“God, why…” Castiel lamented, clutching his sniffling baby to his chest as hot tears burned down his face.

 

Bobby looked on at the sorrow surrounding all of them. This is not what he wanted for his boys. That’s right, even the angels- at least Gabriel and Castiel- were family to the retired hunter. Balthazar had planted himself between Castiel and Gabriel as they coddled their respective Winchesters and was attempting to comfort them in the face of the knowledge that both just as likely to die as they were to survive. The sight was more than the Man of Letters could bear to watch. 

 

For the first time since the apocalypse, Bobby cursed God as his faith faltered.


	20. Visual Intermission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winchester1989 was bombarded with these as I made them and she convinced me to post them for all my readers to enjoy. It's okay, I know they're bad. I'm not visual artist for a reason.
> 
> Some of the backgrounds used are stock photos because I can't background.

  

 

The image on the left was just a cute little doodle I did while bored and the second is Dean from the chapter entitled, "The Hunt to End All Hunts."

 

I still had the picture I took of the tiny bird that got into the airport terminal when I was stuck at Denver airport for 9 hours so I re-purposed it. Here's the scene from the chapter, "God and His Plans: Part 1." And yes, I realize I forgot Kit 'n' Kaboodle but I was already half-asleep when I did this and I wasn't going to go back and edit things in. So here's Dean and Castiel cuddling while they wait to board their flight to Sioux Falls, SD.

 

 

Here's a look Dean's "markings" now that he's Incubate. This one is from "God and His Plans: Last Part." I thought I'd show what I already told.

 

And to finish things off, have a little Sabriel in your life!

 

Hope you all enjoyed. I haven't decided whether I'm going to take this down once the next chapter is finished and put it up in place of the intermission or what the game plan is. I'll have to wait and see if any Assbutts emerge to shame me for my non-pro art.

Affections,

Liz

 

Also, you can find me on:

tumblr: lizzychasewinchester

deviantart: lizzychasewinchester


	21. How to Raise Your Soulmate: Part 2

Castiel felt worn down once Dean and Sam were tucked in once more. Both had to nurse from their angels before they would settle back into sleep. Everything was moving so quickly. The outline of the wings were already appearing on Dean’s back and to make matters worse, there were three sets of wings, which meant his baby, his soul mate, was destined to become a seraph from the get-go. If he survived, that is… Bobby lead the angels, all three with Balthazar leading his brothers as if he were the big brother making sure they were taken care of, to their shared room. Bobby may have had an apocalypse ready house with the most impressive and impenetrable bunker that ever existed, but it was still an average two story house with space limitations so there were a limited number of rooms. Not that the angels minded since they were used to cuddling up with each other from the millenia they spent growing together. 

 

“I know it’s not much, but there’s a king sized bed and plenty of pillows and blankets.” Bobby commented as he stood off to the side. “If you lot need any more of either one or need towels to shower, there’s some in the closet there or in the one in the hallway. My room’s just down the hall if ya need anything.”

 

“Thank you, Bobby.” Castiel responded, tired but grateful.

 

“Don’t mention it. The way them boys have attached to ya means yer family. Like I always told ‘em, family don’t end with blood.” Bobby dismissed. “Get over here and give an old man a hug.”

 

The three grinned and chuckled as the old hunter embraced them all at once. Bobby had come a long way from wanting to find a way to kill them and they were certainly appreciative of him and his kindness. After saying goodnight, they all swapped out their day clothes for relaxed and worn pjs. It was nice to be all together again, just like the old days when the world was less broken and everything was a bit more straight-forward. Balthazar climbed into bed, taking the middle and extending both his wings and arms out to his brothers. It was their turn to be taken care of after all they had endured. He began to hum a melody as they climbed under the covers on either side of him.

 

“Was that your first time nursing, Sam?” Castiel questioned the archangel.

 

“Yep. We never really intended to have it happen but it was the only thing I could come up with that would truly ease his soul.” Gabriel sighed, his cheek smooshed up against Balthazar’s shoulder. It was nice to not be the adult and have someone coddling him. “I guess now’s the time to get used to it since he has to start facing the trials in the near future. I’d rather start them on our terms than wait until Dear Old Dad decides to try to kill my soul mate like he did and attempted with yours…”

 

“Trust me, the sooner you beat him to it, the better.” Castiel commented with a heavy sigh. 

 

“You lot need to take a breather.” Balthazar chastised. “There’ll be plenty o’ time for worryin’ about the babes, but you need to rest while you can. What can I do to make it better?”

 

There was a bit of silence before Castiel said, “Sing, please, Bubba?” 

 

“I don't know where I went wrong… Tell me, should I see someone? Ceiling's falling down on me… You look but you never see…” Balthazar sang The XX’s “Test me” after a moment of contemplation as he held his weary brothers on either side of him with his ostentatious wings enveloping them. “Just take it out on me. It's easier than saying what you mean. Test me, see if I break. Tell me this time you've changed. I'll take it out on you. It's easier than talking it through. Test me, see if I stay. How could I walk the other way? Hmmmm….”

 

“One more, Bal?” Gabriel requested through a yawn.

 

“For you two, as many as you desire.” Balthazar promised, kissing their foreheads and chuckling internally at the humor that he, of all the angels, was being so domestic. After a moment’s thought, he settled on “Hey Brother” by Avicii, which he edited for their situation and sang in more of a soft acapella. “Hey brother, There's an endless road to rediscover. Hey Bubba, Know the water's sweet but blood is thicker. Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you. There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do. Hey brother, Do you still believe in one another? Hey Bubba, Do you still believe in love? I wonder. Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you. There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do… What if I'm far from home? Oh brother, I will hear you call. What if I lose it all? Oh Bubba, I will help you hang on. Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you. There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do. Hey brother, There's an endless road to rediscover. Hey Bubba, Do you still believe in love? I wonder. Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you. There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do…”

 

Balthazar smirked as he heard Gabriel snoring as Castiel clung tighter to him. As he laid in the worn and antique smelling bed, the Brit let himself get lost in thought. He knew a lot about the Nephilim Trials and he wasn’t sure that either Winchester would survive. Sure, they had been through some pretty terrible shit and they’d come back from the dead Dad knows how many times, but this was different. The Grace wouldn’t  _ just _ eviscerate their corporeal forms, it would destroy their souls as well. They would cease to exist on any and all planes if their souls were destroyed. He wasn’t sure his brothers could handle that kind of agony. It was the kind that reminded the angel of the tiresome and overdone, yet classic, Shakespeare play,  _ Romeo and Juliet _ and the famous quote from Friar Lawrence, “These violent delights have violent ends And in their triumph die, like fire and powder, Which, as they kiss, consume. The sweetest honey Is loathsome in his own deliciousness And in the taste confounds the appetite. Therefore love moderately. Long love doth so. Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow.” It was good advice and his brothers would do well to remember that the love of an angel was often a death sentence to a mortal. In the beginning, Father had ordered both the angel and the mortal be slain for lying together, no matter what the situation, even if a Nephilim wasn’t born.

 

“What have you two done…?” Balthazar whispered into the darkness, tightening his grip ever so slightly.

 

==>

 

Sam and Dean roused their angels bright and early at 7 a.m. sharp with their cries over dirty diapers and empty tummies. Gabriel and Castiel were disappointed to find that Balthazar had disappeared while they were still asleep and sighed as they got dressed. They weren’t sure if he was just elsewhere in the house or if he’d completely ditched. After all, this mess wasn’t his to deal with and he wasn’t exactly the type for domestic life as far as they knew. As they were about to exit their room, they got their answer when the heartbreaking cries of the Winchester Littles ebbed to half the volume. Gabriel entered the room across the hall with Castiel hot on his heels to find Bobby changing Sam’s diaper while Balthazar changed Dean’s. Kit was lying between the two, nuzzling Dean and tickling Sam with her tail. Sammy didn’t seem to appreciate it, but thankfully Gabriel swooped in and took his toddler into his arms before he could smack poor Kit. Dean was still crying pretty hard, though Balthazar was doing a pretty bang up job on handling the baby as he cradled him in his arms and turned towards the seraph with a soft smile.

 

“He’s all yours, Love.” Balthazar offered, carefully transferring the baby to his brother’s arms. “Nice and clean and ready for breakfast.”

 

“Thank you, Bal.” Castiel sincerely responded, holding his baby so they were chest to chest and laughing as he felt Dean sucking on one of his primaries again. “Someone just didn’t want to wait for their breakfast, hmm?”

 

“Looks like we’re in the same boat.” Gabriel pointed out as Cas looked over to see the disgruntled archangel with his baby latched onto a wing and petting it.

 

“You’ll get used to it.” Castiel chuckled.

 

“What in blue blazes are they doing?” Bobby questioned, looking between the two parental angels. “They look like they’re sucking on air like a coupla’ leeches on a fish.”

 

“The boys are nursing from their angels’ wings. You can’t see the wings because you haven’t been blessed with the sight or ingested any Grace.” Balthazar explained. “It’s a necessity since they’re incubating, or at least Dean is and Sam is on his way to starting his incubation. Sam’s won’t start until he’s had the injections as well. They have to get used to it being in their systems before they can take that final leap and have it pumped straight into their blood.”

 

“Can they survive on that?” Bobby asked.

 

“No. They’d have to be nesting before Grace would be enough to satisfy their hunger and fulfill their nutritional needs.” Balthazar supplied, watching his brothers exit the room as they told their babies that it was time for breakfast.

 

“They’d have to what?” Bobby puzzled. “Ya know what, I don’t need to know right now. I need to go fix those boys some breakfast and yer gonna help me.”

 

Balthazar was both uncomfortable and flattered. No one had ever needed or wanted him like this before. Even Castiel refused to rely on him- though that was more because the younger angel was trying to prove he could be a big boy despite Daddy Gabriel constantly babying him. Their Father didn’t even have this much interest in him when he stole Heaven’s arsenal- which He had apologized for to all of them because He just kind of left them to it after He decided there was enough Creation for the time being.

 

“Well, go on. We gotta finish breakfast and call Ellen. I promised she and Jo could come over and see the boys.” Bobby pushed, ruffling Balthazar’s hair as if he were just a kid.

 

The Brit rolled his eyes and picked up Kit before heading downstairs with Bobby. They found Castiel and Gabriel on the couch with their littles, both Winchesters feeling pretty tiny and just gazing around the room in a daze. Balthazar deposited Kit on the couch next to Castiel who smiled and pet the cat with his free hand. Today had the potential to be a good day, but with the knowledge of two more people finding out about the Nephilim Trials, it was hard to say whether that possibility was out of reach or not. 

 

Just as Bobby had said, the older hunter called Ellen and Jo after breakfast. The ladies were staying at a hotel in town on his suggestion since he’d already told them they could visit the boys but that the brothers were staying at his house and he had limited space. He couldn’t leave his boys to stay in a hotel when both Chuck and Balthazar had explained the drastic and positive change in venue the boys had gone through.

 

When Ellen and Jo arrived, Dean was napping on his kick’n’play on the floor in the living room with Castiel reading a book on the couch, Kit snoozing in his lap, while Gabriel had taken Sam upstairs for a change and a nap. Balthazar had snuck out for a bit of alone time. The Brit wasn’t used to being around family so much for so long anymore. Bobby carefully led them to the kitchen, not allowing them to peer into the living room yet. Once there, they sat and talked for awhile. The retired hunter did his best to try and explain that the boys were “going through some changes.” Naturally, Ellen gave him a look that questioned every word out of his mouth. After all, they were Winchesters and since when did Winchesters change? 

 

They got their first clue when they heard crying from the living room and a familiar rugged voice calming the one crying. Jo was the first out of her seat, not one to sit back and let things play out if she could help it. Ellen followed closely after with Bobby on her heels, much to her annoyance. 

 

“There, there, Sweet Bee,” Cas soothed as Dean calmed to sniffles in his arms. The poor angel to be had a nightmare of Hell again. “Hello, Ellen, Joanna.”

 

“Hey Cas…” Jo hesitantly greeted, unsure of what to make of her former almost boyfriend being treated like an infant. 

 

“Castiel. Mind explaining what’s going on? Where’s Sam?” Ellen interrogated, her arms crossed over her chest and that judgmental look of hers overtaking her expression. 

 

“Sam is right here,” Gabe announced, coming down the stairs with said Winchester in his arms. “Anyone up for 20 questions?”

 

Ellen and Jo both rolled their eyes at the Trickster. Of course,  _ he  _ was there. He was probably the angelic douchebag behind it all. Ellen certainly wouldn’t put past him after all she heard from Sam and Castiel about his antics. 

 

“Gabe, I don’t think they want to play games right now,” Castiel commented, looking a bit confused by the suggestion. “Besides, the boys are in no state to participate and would likely be bored out of their minds.”

 

“It was a joke, Bumble Bee.” Gabe pointed out. “I was making a joke about how they probably have a lot of questions for us.”

 

“Like why Dean’s thighs are bandaged for starters.” Ellen added. “What happened, Cas?”

 

“The brothers were summoned by our Father for a particular hunt. Unfortunately, Father decided to leave out the fact that they were hunting Raphael, whom He had last known to be falling and therefore figured that Sam and Dean could execute him without any issues. What he didn’t account for was Raphael’s willingness to slay his brethren to obtain enough Grace so that it would not be so simple.” Castiel woefully explained, kissing Dean’s forehead as the boy fussed at the memory the story recalled. “Raphael managed to separate them and then tortured Dean extensively. Father joined all of us at the hospital and healed most of Dean’s wounds, claiming I had to be the one to tend to the rest because it would strengthen our bond. He cannot walk without agitating the wounds from the alarmingly deep cuts made in his thighs. His regressed state is a side effect of consuming my Grace to help heal and fight the pain. When he nurses from it, it regresses him back to a childish state of mind.”

 

“So this is temporary? He’s still the same stubborn asshole as always?” Jo questioned, unsure how to feel about all of it.

 

“Essentially, yes. Though there have been some minor changes in Dean overall when he has been more of himself,” Castiel answered. “The changes Bobby has been attempting to explain to you are changes that are necessary for him to become an angel. He will be a mere cherub, especially given the regression he experiences while nursing, though once he no longer relies on my Grace, he will slowly grow back to his former human age in mentality. I cannot promise that the life he will live between now and then will not change him, though I will say it will more likely be for the better.”

 

“What about Sam? Is he in the same boat?” Ellen prompted, looking between the two angels.

 

“Samuel didn’t go through any of the same tortures as Dean. He was able to leave without anything more than a few scratches and some emotional and mental trauma. Though trauma like that is more subtle and long term, it is better than what Dean is dealing with, especially with the daily physical trauma and reminder that it all happened.” Castiel answered, frowning deeply. “Samuel will eventually suffer some of the same changes as Dean. Father has deemed it best that he undergo the same process to become an angel as well. Gabriel is to be his guardian.”

 

“Seriously?” Jo pressed. “Feathers for brains is supposed essentially raise Sam from some sort of infanthood after torturing him by repeatedly killing his brother before his eyes and just tormenting him daily in general? How in Hell does that make any sense?”

 

“In Hell, that makes perfect sense.” Gabriel retorted, a bitchy undertone in his reply as he low-key glares at Jo. “It makes perfect sense everywhere else too because I never actually killed Dean. It was all an alternate reality illusion. I did it so he would get over his fear of Dean dying. And for your information, I’ve always looked out for Sammy even before all this. Heaven knows I was actually the one that raised Cassie.”

 

“He’s right, as much as I hate to admit it.” Castiel agreed with an affectionate sigh. “No one else would look after me. I was a burden to everyone but Gabriel. He’s been suffering empty nest syndrome since.”

 

“Joanna, that was rude.” Ellen pointed out, giving her daughter a disapproving look. 

 

“Well it was an honest question,” Jo mutters under her breath, rolling her eyes. “So is Sam already becoming a baby angel or what?”

 

“No. We have decided to wait until Dean’s more stable and less of a target.” Gabriel clarified, his tone softening at the thought of his little troublemaker. “We know that neither of them will ever stop being a target of the supernatural and otherworldly, but we at least want Dean to be strong enough to defend himself before Sammy goes through the hardest parts of the trials.”

 

After a few more hours of questioning and spending time with the angels-to-be, Ellen and Jo headed back to their hotel to get on with the hunt that Bobby had been alerted to.  Both mother and daughter hated to admit it, but the whole becoming an angel thing was just too out there for them, especially when most of the angels out there were happy to either ignore humans or set them in the middle of a war. They agreed that they would never turn their backs on the brothers, but they were practically family despite any bad blood between the families from before the era of the Winchester brothers. Castiel and Gabriel were glad to have the ladies gone too, if they were being honest. They were good people, but they were still a bit small minded. Too much was black and white for Harvelles, which was both fair and not. They’d seen their fair share of trials and heartaches, but they still couldn’t forget no matter how hard they tried to forgive. 


End file.
